Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelyivy84
How are you expressing this to them would be my main question. A lot of times expressions of sympathy can come across as condescending (ever had a white person tell you that they're really "down"- you know what I mean). It could be that is how it comes across sometimes, but you seem pretty clear in your meaning so I wonder.
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I get what you mean. I don't know; what I say is often taken a different way than I meant it (more sarcastically or meanly--I'm just one of
those people
). But when someone says, "Nubian queens are beautiful" and I say "Yes, we are!" women just stare at me like a white girl said it! They say I'm trying to get praise for looking white AND being black, which couldn't be further from the truth. I don't look white IMO and I'm not mixed, just very light. I don't know why and I can't control it. So why tell me I'm stuck up and think I'm better than everyone else? Since when do you know what I think about myself over a physical trait that I can't control? And why expect me to be flattered over compliments which are really just the opposite? You know, I worked my butt off, going to school full-time, working full-time, and STILL got straight As. So when someone tells me I "look intelligent" because I "look white" and ignores everything else I just did....
I spent an entire childhood never getting to interact with people of my own color except for my family or church members. So when I came to a black college, I was excited to learn my history, to be with my own people. Then I got here and, for 4 years, have dealt with being told I don't belong. It's not everyone, but it's enough.
As far as the other thing about the skin color of sorority members...I'll say this. I'm one of the lightest girls in my class. I was asked whether I'm an AKA probably once a week after I got to college and, once people started to know me, maybe once every couple months. Several times, people have admitted that my skin was the only clue they had to go on and still made the assumption. I can't express HOW FREQUENT AND IN HOW MANY WAYS THIS ASSUMPTION IS MADE ABOUT ME. I mean, COME ON, a freshman walked up to me on campus last year and expressed interest to me!!!
I have mad respect for the org, but why does A have to equal B? Can I just be me? Is that okay with everybody?
The puzzling part is, it's not just the way I look--several GCers have PMed me asking if I'm an AKA (always either members of other orgs or a nonmember). So if it's possible that women who look white "talk white"...since people have made it up in their minds that there's a way to "look like an AKA" is there a way to "talk/type" like one? Because this stereotype is ridiculous...if I were darker, I bet I wouldn't be getting corned by freshmen.
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