How do you trust someone?

[James]

What kind of stuff?

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by James

What kind of stuff?

Investigative stuff. Some would call it "stalking". But with something like this I see it as playing it safe.

[Scandia]

Googling someone (or zabasearching, or looking into your state's public records) is NOT stalking. Driving by someone's house is NOT stalking.

Now purchasing the records of a person through Intelius, or showing up at places the person frequents (like a gym or a bank), or worse- places that the person does NOT go to on a scheduled basis (like the movies or the mall), could be stalking indeed.

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Googling someone (or zabasearching, or looking into your state's public records) is NOT stalking. Driving by someone's house is NOT stalking.

Now purchasing the records of a person through Intelius, or showing up at places the person frequents (like a gym or a bank), or worse- places that the person does NOT go to on a scheduled basis (like the movies or the mall), could be stalking indeed.

When I read your posts in this forum, I think of those pamphlets they have in the University Health Center.

[texas*princess]

A few things:

1) that is scary as hell. I would never ever meet a guy I didn't know at his house alone.

2) I think it would actually take me a long time for me to be comfortable with him alone... i'm talking group dates, outings etc. until I feel safe. I am very scared for my personal safety and don't know this person.

3) I do not think that looking up a person's criminal record is stalking. That's being proactive. Personally, I would venture to say I would likely do it on any random guy I met. I would be more than happy if a guy wanted to look up my criminal record, because I have nothing to hide.

4) It's stories like this that keep me single... haha.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

4) It's stories like this that keep me single... haha.

Stories like this should keep you from meeting men off of websites and nothing more.

I see nothing wrong with Googling a man's name and driving separate cars when you go out until you feel comfortable with each other. I don't let a man see where I live or go to his house until I know his background. This includes whether he has a criminal record (I don't date men with criminal records), his family, education, and career. I pretty much am trying to figure out if he has as much at stake as I do. Meaning, I don't do drama because I have too much to lose. I date men who have as much if not more to lose from drama as I do. Therefore, no drama.

Anything beyond that, in my opinion, is doing too much.