Is sex really that big of a deal?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by KSig RC

This is cute in kind of a "Hallmark/Oxygen TV/vomit" sort of way, and that's great for you guys - however, I don't want others in the thread to mistake what you're saying here (and the implications).

All healthy relationships require a strong, healthy sexual side. Do you necessarily need to have sex, per se? No - but you should be prepared to meet both your needs and your partner's in some other way. What does 'healthy' mean? Well, it's different for each individual, but it is 100% a point of compatibility - so if the female is comfortable with zero sexual contact, fine, but she'll be searching for quite some time for a sucker, errr dude who matches.

Before we start mangling our terminology further (for instance, "LOVE =/= HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP" would be the easiest addition to the tautology parade, but whatever), I think it's important to keep the inarguable points in mind - between religion, mythologizing of love and societal pressure, it's a difficult situation, but there is no getting around the fact that sexual compatibility is huge . . . and it's a huge problem for a large number of couples.

This is why I don't have trouble with the "technical virgin" mentality - while I don't really carry the same moral bases (obviously), if you feel that abstinence is solid for whatever reason, I can't fault you for pleasing your partner (and yourself). It doesn't seem super efficient, but it's your choice - and it will be quite difficult for people to have healthy relationships as an adult while remaining completely chaste.

Yeah well the idea of a tragic crotch accident with me lying at his hospital bed protesting that I shall always love him is rather hallmark

But that's what I meant in that there is a sexual drive behind your feelings. And if you have zero sexual contact, you're both probably going to be stressed unless you were both raised that way and are comfortable with it. (I know someone who went all out and officially courted his fiancé. They were chaperoned and everything) But hugging, kissing, making out are sexual contact and can be sufficient for both parties IF they both want it to be. The idea that guys are sexual machines and MUST be appeased with sex or else is silly. Being a sexual being is not the same thing as being sexually active, guy or girl.