Is sex really that big of a deal?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by interestladiLTA

I have decided to wait until I am married to have sex. I have dated guys with very strong sex drives. One guy in particular tried to force me to have sex. Now that I have found someone I can see myself with forever I struggle with keeping my promise to myself and just being sexually frustrated or give into my desires and put my self at risks for a broken heart and/or or the other risks that come with sex...

Look, the scientists don't have the answers to protect your broken heart after sex.

IMO, sexual emotion should be in the realm of a Spiritual Trek or Fancy.

You NEVER know what you might enjoy sexually. Maybe you are into a "ball gag" and dominion. Maybe you are into a bear rug by the fire. Either way, gag or fire, you still have to protect yourself for the responsibilities of emotions after sex. That's why if done properly, it doesn't hurt... Not this it'll get better with more practice...

Erections just are physically impossible beyond 3 hours unless the man downs all his Vitamin V's and Cialis' in the outdoor bathtubs. Once sex is done that's your experience. You want to make the most of it especially if you are multi-orgasmic. Now, if the dude has multiples, that's different, but one erection for 3 hours... I'm sorry. Something's wrong with him... Most of the time is ~5-30 minutes at the longest... That's your time frame to get your groove...

And anyone forcing anything sexual is called rape...

And there are some women here that have suffered unspeakable sex crimes, from child abuse to rape.

If that is going on, you need to see a professional therapist and get your mind straight before any relationship with a qualified professional healthcare professional. The National Association of Mental Illness, Planned Parenthood, and several other groups exist to assist women who have been attacked and abused. Also, I think Honeychile is a crisis counselor. There are others on GC.

One avenue is the thought process of the Tantra. Others have found support in Buddhist practices.

But what you do not want is to be struggling out there along with no one but that fool that abused you.

If you have very serious issues, PM me and we find assistance.

Dr. AKA_Monet
Chief of GC Hospital

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I'm not trying to pick on you, but this is disturbing. You're saying that ignorance is a good thing in this situation? Is it a good thing in other situations?

Here's what I really think -- the attitude you have might be admirable in some circles (devout Christians) but you're selling yourself short. There's NO REASON to spend your life with some one-minute man who couldn't satisfy a woman to save his life. I'm not saying you should go out and hit it with the next dude on the street, but isn't it possible that the whole save-yourself-for-marriage thing was established a LONG ass time ago, when people got married at the age of 12, had 19 kids, and died before 40? Maybe it's time to re-evaluate.

Yes, that's possible....just like it's possible my husband will lay it down better than any man on the block. And even more possible that I made my decision to stay a virgin BEFORE I became a Christian, so none of that matters and the re-evaluation isn't necessary. I'm setting myself up to be content with what I have by not venturing where I don't really want to venture. I don't see it as selling myself short or being ignorant and IMO how I see it is more important than the "circles" I run in or the ones I don't. I know you're trying to look out for me, but trust me, I thought about this long and hard before I decided, even changed my mind once (then changed it back--obviously).

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by christiangirl

And even more possible that I made my decision to stay a virgin BEFORE I became a Christian.

Why??? I only kept that promise to myself, back when I was a "good" Christian. Before and after that period...my answer is "when I find the right person", not "when I get married".

[ziasha07]

Not to be overly religious but w/abstinence has to faith. The faith that you'll get the right man that will be for you as far as sex is concerned.