Destination Weddings

[DolphinChicaDDD]

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

I think that's a really good point too. I'm in a wedding this year where we all have to buy out bridesmaid dress and shoes (obviously). Plus we all have to pay to fly to the destination (not far but it's still about $250/plane ticket) plus stay in a hotel for 3 nights. All that and the bride-to-be wants to go on an elaborate week long trip for her bachelorette party! I just can't afford to do all that! Plus we have to buy gifts for the bridal shower and wedding. We calculated that without the bachelorette party it'll probably total about $1500/person in the bridal party for everything. That's a little out of control!

I must be missing the bride gene, I have no desire to do ANY of this if i get married.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by OtterXO

All that and the bride-to-be wants to go on an elaborate week long trip for her bachelorette party!

Two words: GO.JUMP.

I can't believe that! I'm doing everything I can to make them pay the least amount as possible. I've talked to the bridesmaids already and they are all psyched. I will be making it very clear that I will not accept any gifts from the people that come.

I think having a destination wedding is fitting for us. Both have us have traveled A LOT. I'm actually a little wierded out because it'd be a resort instead of backpacking, but I'll get over it.

This is so stressful. I'm the biggest organization freak, and I just can't seem to make this work how I want. Maybe I should just do it at home. We're going to go to a travel agent to see what we can do.

OH!! I also just found out that hurricane season starts June 1...so that'll be another thing to worry about. Sorry about the venting. More happy things to come (hopefully).

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by ErinKathleenNJ

I can't believe that! I'm doing everything I can to make them pay the least amount as possible. I've talked to the bridesmaids already and they are all psyched. I will be making it very clear that I will not accept any gifts from the people that come.

I think having a destination wedding is fitting for us. Both have us have traveled A LOT. I'm actually a little wierded out because it'd be a resort instead of backpacking, but I'll get over it.

This is so stressful. I'm the biggest organization freak, and I just can't seem to make this work how I want. Maybe I should just do it at home. We're going to go to a travel agent to see what we can do.

OH!! I also just found out that hurricane season starts June 1...so that'll be another thing to worry about. Sorry about the venting. More happy things to come (hopefully).

So, you need to visit the area if it is in this country or find a "friend" who is from that town you will be in the destination. Some stuff cannot be done over the phone.

You need to think about using the local ecology. It's cheaper, like the flowers and the kinds. And since your doing somewhere that is humid, you better forget a chiffon dress--too hot. Then your hair can be done up in a way that handles humidity.

To cut your costs, have several venues of activity selection for your guests.

Then no matter what you do, your relatives will show up. All family A-C-K a fool... You can plan, you can decide, but families are psychotic with these things. Even if they threaten you... They just ack a fool.

The other thing is you get married outside the US is you have to be up for anything. They will lose your baggage, on purpose. They will have all kinna crazy delays. Lose paperwork, then find it, they make you see someone else that's on break...

So your best bet, if you are already are crazy and you are just starting, do a JP in the states, and have a nice ceremony at your destination/honeymoon...

A travel agent might help, but I would want one specializing in destination weddings. Or if you make "friends", you will have a more cultural wedding, but you will make some really good "friends" that will give you the shirts off their back... You will get memorable freebies and it will be incredible.

I read somewhere that you should get insurance, in case you actually do have inclement weather.

And folks giving gifts: That's why you do a monetary registry or a charity registry. Then folks are forced to adhere to your desires. Otherwise, if you both are young, you should register for big ticket items.

Then have a reception somewhere later, sometime later.

Lots of folks do that...

I just wanted to say thank you all for your advice about this. Especially AKA_Monet I really appreciate all your input. Sorry the gratitude is comming a bit late.

We set a date today! Woo hoo, finally!! The ceremony and reception will both be in state, and near the family. We're both really happy.

[KSUViolet06]

I've always wanted to do a destination wedding on a beach with just 50 or so guests. We shall see.