Destination Weddings

OtterXO · #1 02-26-2007, 12:43 PM

I've thought about doing a destination type wedding if/when I get married. But I would want to still have a party/reception type thing at home for people who couldn't make it to the wedding. My thing is I'm just not into the big white dress, everyone staring at me part of a wedding so I'd want to keep to close friends and family at the destination portion of the wedding and then have a casual reception later. Thoughts?

AlphaFrog · #2 02-26-2007, 12:50 PM

The destination wedding/casual reception can seem like "We didn't want (to pay for) you at the wedding, but come bring us presents anyway". You have to be careful how you word/present everything.

OtterXO · #3 02-26-2007, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

The destination wedding/casual reception can seem like "We didn't want (to pay for) you at the wedding, but come bring us presents anyway". You have to be careful how you word/present everything.

Yeah, that would be my concern. Good thing I'm not getting married any time soon! haha

DolphinChicaDDD · #4 02-26-2007, 12:59 PM

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

OtterXO · #5 02-26-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD

My issue with destination weddings is this: If I'm going to shell out the money to go on vacation and see you get married, please don't expect me to also give you a wedding present (money in my area of the country) and the most expensive thing off your registry if you have a shower. I had a falling out with a someone over that, because it was expected that not only would I put down the money to go on vacation to see the couple get married (cheapest option at $1500 for 5 days), but also pick something off the registry where the cheapest thing was $150, and then give the couple an additional $200 as a wedding present.

I think that's a really good point too. I'm in a wedding this year where we all have to buy out bridesmaid dress and shoes (obviously). Plus we all have to pay to fly to the destination (not far but it's still about $250/plane ticket) plus stay in a hotel for 3 nights. All that and the bride-to-be wants to go on an elaborate week long trip for her bachelorette party! I just can't afford to do all that! Plus we have to buy gifts for the bridal shower and wedding. We calculated that without the bachelorette party it'll probably total about $1500/person in the bridal party for everything. That's a little out of control!

I must be missing the bride gene, I have no desire to do ANY of this if i get married.

AlphaFrog · #6 02-26-2007, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterXO

All that and the bride-to-be wants to go on an elaborate week long trip for her bachelorette party!

Two words: GO.JUMP.

#7 02-26-2007, 01:56 PM

I can't believe that! I'm doing everything I can to make them pay the least amount as possible. I've talked to the bridesmaids already and they are all psyched. I will be making it very clear that I will not accept any gifts from the people that come.

I think having a destination wedding is fitting for us. Both have us have traveled A LOT. I'm actually a little wierded out because it'd be a resort instead of backpacking, but I'll get over it.

This is so stressful. I'm the biggest organization freak, and I just can't seem to make this work how I want. Maybe I should just do it at home. We're going to go to a travel agent to see what we can do.

OH!! I also just found out that hurricane season starts June 1...so that'll be another thing to worry about. Sorry about the venting. More happy things to come (hopefully).

AKA_Monet · #8 02-27-2007, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErinKathleenNJ

I can't believe that! I'm doing everything I can to make them pay the least amount as possible. I've talked to the bridesmaids already and they are all psyched. I will be making it very clear that I will not accept any gifts from the people that come.

I think having a destination wedding is fitting for us. Both have us have traveled A LOT. I'm actually a little wierded out because it'd be a resort instead of backpacking, but I'll get over it.

This is so stressful. I'm the biggest organization freak, and I just can't seem to make this work how I want. Maybe I should just do it at home. We're going to go to a travel agent to see what we can do.

OH!! I also just found out that hurricane season starts June 1...so that'll be another thing to worry about. Sorry about the venting. More happy things to come (hopefully).

So, you need to visit the area if it is in this country or find a "friend" who is from that town you will be in the destination. Some stuff cannot be done over the phone.

You need to think about using the local ecology. It's cheaper, like the flowers and the kinds. And since your doing somewhere that is humid, you better forget a chiffon dress--too hot. Then your hair can be done up in a way that handles humidity.

To cut your costs, have several venues of activity selection for your guests.

Then no matter what you do, your relatives will show up. All family A-C-K a fool... You can plan, you can decide, but families are psychotic with these things. Even if they threaten you... They just ack a fool.

The other thing is you get married outside the US is you have to be up for anything. They will lose your baggage, on purpose. They will have all kinna crazy delays. Lose paperwork, then find it, they make you see someone else that's on break...

So your best bet, if you are already are crazy and you are just starting, do a JP in the states, and have a nice ceremony at your destination/honeymoon...

A travel agent might help, but I would want one specializing in destination weddings. Or if you make "friends", you will have a more cultural wedding, but you will make some really good "friends" that will give you the shirts off their back... You will get memorable freebies and it will be incredible.

I read somewhere that you should get insurance, in case you actually do have inclement weather.

And folks giving gifts: That's why you do a monetary registry or a charity registry. Then folks are forced to adhere to your desires. Otherwise, if you both are young, you should register for big ticket items.

Then have a reception somewhere later, sometime later.

Lots of folks do that...

AKA_Monet · #9 02-27-2007, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterXO

I've thought about doing a destination type wedding if/when I get married. But I would want to still have a party/reception type thing at home for people who couldn't make it to the wedding. My thing is I'm just not into the big white dress, everyone staring at me part of a wedding so I'd want to keep to close friends and family at the destination portion of the wedding and then have a casual reception later. Thoughts?

Well we eloped, then had religious ceremony...

So for the religious thing, we never asked for presents, but folks brought us stuff they thought we'd like.

Then, my mom is psychotic, and we visited her ~4 months after the religious ceremony... She called herself having a "welcome home party" and said no presents on the invite... Folks still brought presents... They asked us what we wanted. Since I had no FHA Bridal Registry, I just told them Home Depot or Lowe's or Costco gift cards... I'd even do Walmart and Target cards...

That's how we got those ceiling fans in our house.

Ironically, my best friend and maid of honor was unable to attend my mom's party due to family issues. But she called me to ask what time was the reception--and I said like an idiot, "it's not a reception". She said, "yeah right"...

I think you have a nicely dressed event (if you do it that way) at one of the local gaming casinoes, buffet style and a room. No matter what you all do, folks will bring some kind of gift. Tell them you can't carry things and you'll get gift cards...

But you should register for those assholes that have to follow ettiquite... If you do, do what you both like... Or do donations to your favorite charity. A lot of older couples or 2nd+ marriages are doing that.

amycat412 · #10 02-27-2007, 03:52 AM

For what its worth:

None of my friends who have had destination weddings regret it.

Most of my friends who shelled out house downpayments to pay for traditional wedding and reception, no matter how wonderful it was, wish they'd taken the money and eloped/destinationed it.

It is YOUR wedding. You guys do what you want to do.

aephi alum · #11 03-18-2007, 02:13 PM

I didn't do a destination wedding, but part of me wishes I had. There are a couple of advantages. Your honeymoon starts immediately because you're already at your honeymoon destination, and (hopefully) you won't have to put up with too many obnoxious relatives and friends of your MIL that she insists *must* be invited even though you've never even met them, because they won't make the trip.

(Can you tell I don't like my MIL?

)

BobbyTheDon · #12 03-20-2007, 12:05 AM

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

KSUViolet06 · #13 03-20-2007, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

Aww. I bet it was beautiful.

OtterXO · #14 03-20-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon

I recently got married in/on/at Catalina Island. Not bad the glamorous but definitely the flossy flossy!

Married????

I never thought I'd see the day. j/k Congrats!

firecracker08 · #15 03-20-2007, 11:28 AM

Our wedding is coming up. And his family still acts like they dont' understand what's going on. What part of limit your guest list do you not understand? The best part is knowing that I'm doing exactly what I want to do and no matter where I take the wedding, he's coming with me!