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At my 100 guests wedding, I had a MOH and a "brides man". My MOH was a dear friend, a sorority sister. Since I was only having one woman the dress was flexible. I had shopped a sample sale and found two dresses for $40 each that I showed her, and she liked one and she paid for the alterations and accessories. Otherwise she could have picked her own dress, I just wanted it to be navy blue. The "bridesman" is active duty Army so he wore his uniform. My husband had his best friend and a brother. We also had two ushers.
I believe etiquette books will tell you that it is appropriate for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, accessories etc. I think its really nice if you can pay for it, especially if you are wanting a dress that is not likely to ever be worn again, but it is not necessary.
In terms of hotel, my MOH stayed with me the night before. I offered to pay for my other attendant's room, but he took care of it on his own. If my friends could not have attended because of expenses, I would have found a way to help out because it was important to me.
The most important thing on your wedding day is honoring the reason you are there--your love. If you are concerned about expenses, your friends, regardless of whether they are bridesmaids or not, will come. Do what you feel comfortable with and make it a day you will recall fondly.
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