another wedding thread...bridesmaids questions

valkyrie · #1 02-25-2007, 02:39 PM

I think having bridesmaids is another outdated wedding tradition and I don't see the point of it.

PM_Mama00 · #2 02-25-2007, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I think having bridesmaids is another outdated wedding tradition and I don't see the point of it.

Do you think marriage is just outdated period?

LPIDelta · #3 02-25-2007, 03:41 PM

At my 100 guests wedding, I had a MOH and a "brides man". My MOH was a dear friend, a sorority sister. Since I was only having one woman the dress was flexible. I had shopped a sample sale and found two dresses for $40 each that I showed her, and she liked one and she paid for the alterations and accessories. Otherwise she could have picked her own dress, I just wanted it to be navy blue. The "bridesman" is active duty Army so he wore his uniform. My husband had his best friend and a brother. We also had two ushers.

I believe etiquette books will tell you that it is appropriate for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, accessories etc. I think its really nice if you can pay for it, especially if you are wanting a dress that is not likely to ever be worn again, but it is not necessary.

In terms of hotel, my MOH stayed with me the night before. I offered to pay for my other attendant's room, but he took care of it on his own. If my friends could not have attended because of expenses, I would have found a way to help out because it was important to me.

The most important thing on your wedding day is honoring the reason you are there--your love. If you are concerned about expenses, your friends, regardless of whether they are bridesmaids or not, will come. Do what you feel comfortable with and make it a day you will recall fondly.

ASUADPi · #4 02-26-2007, 12:06 AM

not married, not engaged, just bridesmaid experience

the wedding I was in, my friend had 1 maid of honor, 1 matron of honor and 3 bridesmaids. There were about 50-75 guests.

we bought our own dresses, paid for our own hotel rooms, but only for the night before the wedding. the night prior and the night of we (well the two non married and non-engaged ladies of the bunch) stayed at my friends apartment. we got a discount on the hotel.

my friend bought us our necklaces, which were freshwater pearls. i still wear my pearls on special occasions today.

my friend really tried to make it cheap for us.

although I'm not engage or even dating seriously right now, i know when i get married i'll probably have between 4-5 bridesmaids. I figure i'll go with the same number of groomsmen. however many he chooses i can match. I know there were definately be two, no matter what (my bestest friends in the world). The others would be other friends I would want to have.

valkyrie · #5 02-26-2007, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Do you think marriage is just outdated period?

No.

trojangal · #6 02-26-2007, 07:22 AM

Hmm...served as a bridesmaid twice, and paid for everything. IN one wedding, my friend had already picked out the material--she sent me the material and lace, and told me what pattern. I also covered the plane ticket on that one as well.

When we got married, it was a combination of who paid---I had a Matron of Honor, a Maid of Honor ( husband's niece) and two other attendants, two close friends from college. I paid for jewelry for the outfits that matched--Majorca pearls from the Bahamas and earrnings. In one case, I did pay for the dress for one of my friends. She was going through a divorce the, and money was tight. When we talked about her being in, it was more important to me that she be there, so I helped her with the cost of the dress ($118 if I remember correctly). Hubby had also has four attendants, but one couldn't make it right before wedding b/c of family emergency, so there was actually 3 on his side. The guys--his brother and two of his best friends paid for their own tuxes--we just told them the style, sent them the measurement cards, and DH and all the guys went together to pick them up, etc.

xo_kathy · #7 02-26-2007, 11:41 AM

I had 3 - well, 4 I guess...I had a MOH and 2 bridesmaids, then DH's daughter was a Jr. Bridesmaid. He had 2 best men so one of the best men escorted the Jr. Bridesmaid. I would have preferred not having the whole "jr" thing, but guess I couldn't not do it...she's his kid and all...

I didn't pick based on any set formula - I have 1 best friend and 2 women who I'm still close with since elementary school so it was obviously them.

Quite frankly, I couldn't imagine having more than that. I still got drama with only 3 (ok, it was only from one of them) so I'd never want to increase that!

In terms of paying, I think most women when they agree to being a BM think they will have to pay for the dress, accessories and alterations. I personally think if a bride makes all of them get their hair and make-up done the same, she shouldpay for that. I also think it's ridiculous to expect everyone to get Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses and Jimmy Choo shoes.

I personally paid for a little more for one of bridesmaids b/c I knew her financial situation and I could afford it. For the one who flew in with her husband, I paid the hotel for the night of the wedding. And for my MOH I paid for her hair as an extra gift for being such a great friend. It's all really up to you are what your budget dictates.

ASUADPi · #8 02-26-2007, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xo_kathy

In terms of paying, I think most women when they agree to being a BM think they will have to pay for the dress, accessories and alterations. I personally think if a bride makes all of them get their hair and make-up done the same, she shouldpay for that. I also think it's ridiculous to expect everyone to get Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses and Jimmy Choo shoes.

I think my friend actually made us pay for out own hair, as if we had a choice in the matter, we had to get our hair done. In fact, now I remember, I did have to pay for my own hair. Her mom paid for her sister, who was one of the MOH's. My friend was on a serious budget but she really wanted us to go "all out". Whatever. It was five years ago and we don't even keep in touch anymore.

PM_Mama00 · #9 02-26-2007, 08:58 PM

I was a flower girl in a wedding when I was younger. My brother was in the wedding. ALL my cousins were in the wedding... I have a lot of cousins. It was a double wedding (2 sisters got married on the same day) and I believe there were 14 girls on each side, and 14 guys on each side. Plus 3 sets of flowergirls/ring bearers on each side. It was a HUGE wedding. We paid for our dresses and I think they bought us the pearls that we wore? We also all had hair pieces and carried decorated fans... total 80s wedding. I think all we paid for was the dresses though.

angelic1 · #10 02-27-2007, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xo_kathy

In terms of paying, I think most women when they agree to being a BM think they will have to pay for the dress, accessories and alterations. I personally think if a bride makes all of them get their hair and make-up done the same, she shouldpay for that. I also think it's ridiculous to expect everyone to get Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses and Jimmy Choo shoes.

Agree here. I am fine with (and except to) pay for my dress and stuff when someone asks me to be in their wedding. However, I do not plan to send tons of money on a dress and shoes I will never wear again. I had this happen for a wedding I was in, and then I couldn't be in my other close friend's (became engaged a few months later) wedding.

As for the bridesmaid (not engaged, yet) situation... I will be forced with 6 as a minimum. I have two brothers, he has three, and then his best friend. A las only one sister in the group.

Munchkin03 · #11 02-26-2007, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I think having bridesmaids is another outdated wedding tradition and I don't see the point of it.

Damn. If I ever get married, I was intending on asking the H&A to be my bridesmaids.

I would have paid for your beer and everything.

In keeping with the actual thread, I've never been a bridesmaid.

GeekyPenguin · #12 02-26-2007, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Damn. If I ever get married, I was intending on asking the H&A to be my bridesmaids.

I would have paid for your beer and everything.

In keeping with the actual thread, I've never been a bridesmaid.

I'm IN! I am a professional wedding party member.

valkyrie · #13 02-26-2007, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Damn. If I ever get married, I was intending on asking the H&A to be my bridesmaids.

I would have paid for your beer and everything.

In keeping with the actual thread, I've never been a bridesmaid.

I will totally go against my morals if free beer is involved, as long as it's good beer and not like Coors or some shit.

mu_agd · #14 02-26-2007, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Damn. If I ever get married, I was intending on asking the H&A to be my bridesmaids.

I would have paid for your beer and everything.

In keeping with the actual thread, I've never been a bridesmaid.

Beer? No grateful deads?

amanda6035 · #15 02-26-2007, 10:58 PM

I'm engaged now =) I'll be having 4 bridesmaids. I was going to have 5, but one of my navy friends will be on deployment in October. Our guest list is just shy of 200 people.

My bridesmaids are buying their own dresses (Anfred Angelo, coblat blue, any dress style they want) also any shoe style they want. I will be paying for their hair and makeup.