Don't Fit in....

[navane]

There are two things I wanted to add to the discussion.

First, it's human nature for people to want to group together ("get cliquey") in response to being put into a new situation (joining a new organization). It helps make a group of 70 go down to a group of 7. For the most part, time fixes that and people usually get over themselves. Like others here have mentioned, be the best Cutiexxxhail you can be. There was a reason they selected you for membership, they must have liked you at some point or another.

Also, I'm wondering how much this actually has to do with having second thoughts about the sorority more than anything else. The first thing you mentioned was being torn between two sororities during rush and you're wondering if you made the right choice. Are you now going around looking for reasons why your current sorority was the wrong choice in order to make the other sound like it would have been better after all?

For example, say a kid's parents send him to summer camp. Inside, he's worried that he won't make friends and he's feeling a little homesick. Instead of admitting to himself "I'm feeling a little unsure", he's phoning home and telling his parents that the camp is lame, there are too many bugs, the food is gross, his counselor is a dork, and the camp t-shirts are corny. Meanwhile, everyone else is having a great time. It's not the camp, it's him.

If that starts to sound familiar to you, you might like to recognize that maybe you're just feeling uncertain at the moment. Try not to focus on what's wrong, but what's right and what you *can* do.

Just give it some more time. Like KSUViolet06 said, it's only been a few weeks. If you have to, go to a sister you like (perhaps your new member educator) and explain to her that you're feeling a little left out and ask if she has any advice.

I hope everything works out for you!

.....Kelly

[susan314]

Originally Posted by navane

Just give it some more time. Like KSUViolet06 said, it's only been a few weeks. If you have to, go to a sister you like (perhaps your new member educator) and explain to her that you're feeling a little left out and ask if she has any advice.

This is a good idea - the members of the chapter don't know how you're feeling if you don't confide in someone. I'd recommend talking with someone that you feel comfortable with (new member educator, your big, or any other active member). You may be pleasantly surprised at how they step up when they realize that you're not feeling included.

If you're still feeling that way after expressing your feelings and going through your pledge term, then you still have time to decide before initiating whether you really made the right choice for you. But I have a feeling that with time and letting a trusted member know how you feel, the situation will resolve itself.

Good luck!

[AOE2AlphaPhi]

I'd suggest that you talk to one of the older girls who you relate to and who you can trust to be discrete about your concerns. I know a lot of girls who were concerned about their sororities or pledge classes or whatever else before they were initiated and talking to initiated members they trusted really helped them get a different perspective on their situation.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Jen

Echo the above, but I want to add that if you make an effort to get to know more people, you confide your feelings to members etc and you STILL don't feel you're in the right place after giving it some time, DO NOT go through initiation.

Agreed...if by the 5th week you are still not happy, do NOT go through initiation. Once initiated, and then you resign, you cannot join another NPC sorority.