Recommendation Caution to PNM's

CallieQ · #1 01-20-2007, 12:11 AM

Thank you for your responses--you're very kind! My mother tells me about rush, but I'm sure things have changed since she rushed. I'll be sure to keep all of your ideas in mind. I do have one question about the picture--my mom said that I should use a cheerleader shot and a portrait shot. Is that too much? A friend of mine who rushed last year had the two types of photo superimposed, but you didn't see her as well. I've kept up my grades & activities & honors, but is mentioning a title (Homecoming Court, or a Miss Small Town) bragging? It seems like such a fine line to me.

I pretty much like all the schools equally, except I live too close to the one! I love my parents, but don't want them breathing down my neck! I went through all the college websites, and wrote down all the sororities each has--I have some of the recs figured out (from church & school), but my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet. We visit every table, and I've seen some of the ladies filling in forms which look like the recs my mother has filled in. I'm afraid it might be seen as rude if I contact someone just for a rec, when she doesn't know me beforehand. I'm also going to visit the friend I mentioned for a weekend, to see if I like the campus--but she said she can't give me a rec for her school. Sometimes I feel like my mother & I are planning an Army manuever!

AChiOhSnap · #2 01-20-2007, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CallieQ

my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet.

WOW.

ETA: Why did you say in this post from last April that you were going to rush last August, and your profile says you are only 16....?

CallieQ · #3 01-20-2007, 12:33 AM

I'm embarrassed. I've been lurking a long time, and didn't want you to think I'm too young. But I guess I am. I'm just so excited about it, going away and all. I'll come back when it gets closer. Sorry.

AChiOhSnap · #4 01-20-2007, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CallieQ

I'm embarrassed. I've been lurking a long time, and didn't want you to think I'm too young. But I guess I am. I'm just so excited about it, going away and all. I'll come back when it gets closer. Sorry.

Don't be embarassed, just don't lie.

adpiucf · #5 06-26-2007, 02:41 PM

Please don't wait until the last minute to start asking for recs! The moment you even think about going through recruitment, start soliciting those recs.

Rec writers have lives, too, and you shouldn't cause them stress or inconvenience because you waited until the week before recruitment to start lining up recs. Rec writers very much want to help you-- but please be considerate of their time. They are doing you a favor--- the least you can do is give them at least 4-6 weeks lead time.

ETA: If you just decided to go through recruitment the week before/day of and you're frustrated that rec writers are not as readily available, I hate to say this-- but that's your problem. You need to plan ahead for anything that requires you to ask another person to contribute her time on your behalf.

KSUViolet06 · #6 06-26-2007, 03:11 PM

Yes girls please keep in mind that some schools require all recs to be submitted as early as JULY!

So please be timely and start lining them up early.

GatorDG · #7 09-02-2007, 11:28 AM

I just had dinner last night with a friend whose daughter is a freshman at SMU. The daughter had just attended a Panhellenic rush (sorry recruitment - I'm old) information meeting and was told that THEY DO NOT NEED RECS!!!! I assured my friend that, especially at a school like SMU, this was not the case. It seems as if NPC, through various school panhellenics, is trying to move away from requiring recs, but the chapters are still requiring them. This can be very confusing to rushees and making life difficult for the glo as well as the pnm. This can result in hurt feelings and disappointing recruitments. This is an area that seems to need attention and consistency.

adpiucf · #8 01-20-2007, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CallieQ

Thank you for your responses--you're very kind! My mother tells me about rush, but I'm sure things have changed since she rushed. I'll be sure to keep all of your ideas in mind. I do have one question about the picture--my mom said that I should use a cheerleader shot and a portrait shot. Is that too much? A friend of mine who rushed last year had the two types of photo superimposed, but you didn't see her as well. I've kept up my grades & activities & honors, but is mentioning a title (Homecoming Court, or a Miss Small Town) bragging? It seems like such a fine line to me.

I pretty much like all the schools equally, except I live too close to the one! I love my parents, but don't want them breathing down my neck! I went through all the college websites, and wrote down all the sororities each has--I have some of the recs figured out (from church & school), but my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet. We visit every table, and I've seen some of the ladies filling in forms which look like the recs my mother has filled in. I'm afraid it might be seen as rude if I contact someone just for a rec, when she doesn't know me beforehand. I'm also going to visit the friend I mentioned for a weekend, to see if I like the campus--but she said she can't give me a rec for her school. Sometimes I feel like my mother & I are planning an Army manuever!

A cheerleading shot is fine, and so is mentioning any pageant titles or high school courts. You have plenty of time if you are a HS junior-- don't worry about this stuff until next March! And don't worry about approaching strangers for recommendations-- many alumnae write what are called information-only recs. They do this after an in-person meeting with you. You can take this year to get to know some new alumnae, maybe do some volunteer work and keep in touch with emails, Christmas cards, etc., so they remember you when you come to ask them for a rec. Most alumnae are happy to help an enthusiastic PNM provided she gives them adaquate time-- at least 6-8 weeks prior to the deadline. Do try to have your alumnae send their recs in by July 1-- again this is for the year that you are rushing. You are still very young. Take this time to get great grades, volunteer and assume positions of leadership at your high school. An outstanding resume with excellent grades and activities (sports, leadership, well-rounded community volunteer) will grab a sorority's attention and the way you conduct yourself in-person will help them see if what looks great on paper is someone they would want in their organization.

Overall, don't stress out too much. Get your recs and wardrobe when the time comes, learn a little about each sorority's mission and works, but don't try to know it all or come across that way when you get to recruitment. Everyone gets cut from somewhere, and I think the uber-overprepared PNMs end up being the most disappointed-- recruitment is a little like a job interview combined with cheerleader tryouts. Not everyone will get a spot, but they'll make sure you have a good time while you're there and ensure you make some new friends in the process. Just be yourself, have a good time and assume the expectation that it's a great collegiate activity with the potential for lifetime friendships and service.

Have a great rest of your junior year-- focus on living your life in high school, being with friends, doing well in school, your SATs and getting into college next fall!