Bridesmaid Situation

adpiucf · #1 01-10-2007, 12:09 PM

Early April. Which may sound far away, but it's not... I've called the bride 3 times over the last two days to say, "Hey, hope all is well. Please, please give me a call so I can get some details from you about your wedding. I really, really, really want to book my flight this week because airline rates are going up and I don't want to miss out! Please call me!"

I've been reduced to begging! I should not have to beg to have my friend call me back or chase after her to get the simplest of answers! It is frustrating because she responded to an email of mine this morning and ignored the part where I made the same plea. What gives? I'm not trying to make this all about me, and I hope it isn't coming off that way... but I really want to be there for my friend and she's making it really a lot harder financially than it needs to be. That really bugs me.

angelove · #2 01-10-2007, 12:27 PM

How can they reserve rehearsal dinner places, shower caterers/restaurants, florists, etc. without having a confirmed date?? If it's early April, then they would have to already book all these places. They can't treat the caterer like they're treating the bridesmaids "Um, yeah, we need chicken cordon blue for 50 people, maybe on Saturday but could be on Friday, and we might want to have it at XYZ Restaurant but we also could be having it at ABC Club." Something is odd here if she doesn't have those dates and places set in stone. CAn any of the BM's call the mother of the bride, maybe?

LPIDelta · #3 01-10-2007, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

... but I really want to be there for my friend and she's making it really a lot harder financially than it needs to be. That really bugs me.

I think you need to send her an email that relays this sentiment alone. Tell the bride that you know she must be very busy but if she wants you to particpate as much as you want to participate, then she needs to tell you the details that she does know by X date, otherwise you will not be able to attend. Tell her that not being there will surely break your heart, but that you cannot jeopardize your professional and financial plans in order to do so.

Something doesn't sound quite right here. Maybe the bride is having cold feet and that is causing her angst? Maybe the groom is?

This is surely not an easy situation...and it is her day. But if she wants you at her day, she needs to give you some help so that you can be there to support her.

33girl · #4 01-10-2007, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather17

Something doesn't sound quite right here. Maybe the bride is having cold feet and that is causing her angst? Maybe the groom is?

Yup. If someone was calling me repeatedly, I'd call them back just to make them STFU, unless I was so upset about the whole situation I was just ignoring it.

adpiucf · #5 01-10-2007, 01:37 PM

Keep this thread alive! You all, along with two of the other BM's, are preserving my sanity! I just left her another voicemail and sent her an email saying I need her help and need to know specifics because really need to book this flight ASAP... budgets and such b/c I'm leaving my job to start school ... I also threw in that I'm looking forward to seeing her and can't believe it is only 3 months away, if she needs anything just call, etc...

AChiOhSnap · #6 01-10-2007, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Keep this thread alive! You all, along with two of the other BM's, are preserving my sanity! I just left her another voicemail and sent her an email saying I need her help and need to know specifics because really need to book this flight ASAP... budgets and such b/c I'm leaving my job to start school ... I also threw in that I'm looking forward to seeing her and can't believe it is only 3 months away, if she needs anything just call, etc...

I say call the bride's mom or sister if Bride doesn't respond to you this time, even if you don't really know them.

I'm sure every ettiquette maven would have my head for saying that, but I think I'd decide to risk looking a little weird rather than potentially losing out on a ton of money for the airline tix. Just be like "Listen, it seems like Bride is SO busy with the wedding planning, I hate constantly bugging her with my questions and I haven't been able to get ahold of her. I just needed to know some specific dates so I can book my flights because they're getting so expensive!"

adpiucf · #7 01-10-2007, 05:45 PM

Would you believe I have not been given their contact info? The bride is one of my college friends and the rest of the bridesmaids are our "social circle" from college, incl. the MOH. I would not have the other BMs' contact info at all were they not my friends. I'm stuck. If I don't hear from her by this weekend, I'm going to pull my hair out. And then I'll be bald. And who wants a bald bridesmaid?

tunatartare · #8 01-10-2007, 05:47 PM

Do you know her fiance's contact info? If you do, I would suggest going through him to find out about the wedding and dinner dates.

ThetaDancer · #9 01-10-2007, 05:49 PM

What are the other bridesmaids doing? Has the bride communicated information to anyone?

Munchkin03 · #10 01-10-2007, 01:19 PM

Hope she's putting more thought into marriage planning than into planning this trainwreck of a wedding!

valkyrie · #11 01-10-2007, 01:19 PM

She's being a butt, period. If she doesn't know, she should tell you. If she does know, she should tell you. If I were in your place, I'd tell her to let me know the details now or I can't be a bridesmaid -- it might not be a big deal, because it sounds like the wedding might not even happen.