Can Men and Women Be Truly Just Friends?

DSTCHAOS · #1 10-18-2006, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I don't think men and women can be friends. They can be associates but not friends. Well...maybe in some rare cases, but I've never had that luck. I've tried to be friends with women and they always have wanted more. They'll seem to be friends with me, but as soon as I find interest in another woman as more than friends, they get jealous, and the whole time I'm thinking "Wow, I thought we were just friends."

How did you manage to fit into this thread with such a big head? Just kidding. Trust that you will be able to find (maybe plenty of) women who only want to be platonic with you. If your male ego can stand it.

I find that many men's egos can't, so be prepared to receive what you're asking for.

Sidebar: I have male friends who I've had for yeeeeeears and it has remained platonic. This doesn't mean there isn't some attraction with some of them or that they wouldn't try to get down if there was an opportunity. However, those of us who don't feel the need to date or have sex with everything that expresses interest in us are able to keep friendships platonic if we don't want to ruin the genuineness of it.

PrettyBoy · #2 10-20-2006, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

How did you manage to fit into this thread with such a big head? Just kidding. Trust that you will be able to find (maybe plenty of) women who only want to be platonic with you. If your male ego can stand it.

I find that many men's egos can't, so be prepared to receive what you're asking for.

Sidebar: I have male friends who I've had for yeeeeeears and it has remained platonic. This doesn't mean there isn't some attraction with some of them or that they wouldn't try to get down if there was an opportunity. However, those of us who don't feel the need to date or have sex with everything that expresses interest in us are able to keep friendships platonic if we don't want to ruin the genuineness of it.

Can women and men be friends without any physical attraction at all? I can't see it. Hey, I can't help it that women can't keep their hands off of me.

delph998 · #3 10-20-2006, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Can women and men be friends without any physical attraction at all? I can't see it. Hey, I can't help it that women can't keep their hands off of me.

WOW!

I'd love to see this Pretty Boy!

DSTCHAOS · #4 10-20-2006, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by delph998

WOW!

I'd love to see this Pretty Boy!

You ever seen that deformed monster thingie from the Goonies?

PrettyBoy · #5 10-21-2006, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

You ever seen that deformed monster thingie from the Goonies?

You ain't right.

PrettyBoy · #6 10-21-2006, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by delph998

WOW!

I'd love to see this Pretty Boy!

LOL. Seriously, I have never had a female friend that didn't want more from me. I don't know why. Maybe it's my personality.

I mean, I don't look at myself in the mirror and say "Damn I look good". Women tell me that.

laylo · #7 10-21-2006, 03:34 PM

They can be acquaintances, but not close friends. They can't hang out alone. I've had several guys get angry at me because I wouldn't hang out with them as "friends". So when I did, I made it very clear beforehand that I wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual happening in any way. And every single time without exception, they still tried something and I had to leave. Maybe it changes when you get older (I doubt it), but for the most part women think they have male friends, men think they have untapped options. Not saying its only men who play the friend game, but I think men are much more likely to.

PrettyBoy · #8 10-22-2006, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laylo

They can be acquaintances, but not close friends. They can't hang out alone. I've had several guys get angry at me because I wouldn't hang out with them as "friends". So when I did, I made it very clear beforehand that I wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual happening in any way. And every single time without exception, they still tried something and I had to leave. Maybe it changes when you get older (I doubt it), but for the most part women think they have male friends, men think they have untapped options. Not saying its only men who play the friend game, but I think men are much more likely to.

You hit it right on the nose. I wouldn't get serious with a babe who had male friends. It just causes too many problems.

DSTCHAOS · #9 10-24-2006, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

You hit it right on the nose. I wouldn't get serious with a babe who had male friends. It just causes too many problems.

Well you will be missing out on a lot of good women then.

But maybe women won't want to be with you because you call them "babe."

SexualChocolate · #10 10-22-2006, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laylo

They can be acquaintances, but not close friends. They can't hang out alone. I've had several guys get angry at me because I wouldn't hang out with them as "friends". So when I did, I made it very clear beforehand that I wasn't interested in anything romantic or sexual happening in any way. And every single time without exception, they still tried something and I had to leave. Maybe it changes when you get older (I doubt it), but for the most part women think they have male friends, men think they have untapped options. Not saying its only men who play the friend game, but I think men are much more likely to.

Yup, I'm guiltly of this kind of behavior.

delph998 · #11 10-24-2006, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

LOL. Seriously, I have never had a female friend that didn't want more from me. I don't know why. Maybe it's my personality.

I mean, I don't look at myself in the mirror and say "Damn I look good". Women tell me that.

Okay, Pretty Boy! I guess I believe you.

I think that men and women can truly be just friends; however in most cases, one person likes the other.

PrettyBoy · #12 10-27-2006, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by delph998

Okay, Pretty Boy! I guess I believe you.

I think that men and women can truly be just friends; however in most cases, one person likes the other.

delph998 I can't agree with you more. Someone likes someone for more than friends. You are so right.

DSTCHAOS · #13 10-20-2006, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Can women and men be friends without any physical attraction at all? I can't see it. Hey, I can't help it that women can't keep their hands off of me.

Well, some women are desperate and have low expectations.

But your question is like asking "can human beings walk down a crowded street without finding at least ONE person physically attractive?" Sure, it's possible to NOT but if the other person is physically attractive and you notice that person, you're usually going to find that person physically attractive. Unless you know too much about that person and the thought of physical attractiveness just makes you sick.

But finding someone attractive doesn't mean you'll want to hump that person. I have longterm male friends who find me attractive but have never made a move. They they me that they've said to themselves "oh, that's just DSTChaos...we're like brother and sister" or "we're homies so I wouldn't want to confuse things."

PrettyBoy · #14 10-21-2006, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well, some women are desperate and have low expectations.

But your question is like asking "can human beings walk down a crowded street without finding at least ONE person physically attractive?" Sure, it's possible to NOT but if the other person is physically attractive and you notice that person, you're usually going to find that person physically attractive. Unless you know too much about that person and the thought of physical attractiveness just makes you sick.

But finding someone attractive doesn't mean you'll want to hump that person. I have longterm male friends who find me attractive but have never made a move. They they me that they've said to themselves "oh, that's just DSTChaos...we're like brother and sister" or "we're homies so I wouldn't want to confuse things."

Yeah, I see your point, but they still want you, and given the opportunity they wouldn't turn you away.

DSTCHAOS · #15 10-24-2006, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yeah, I see your point, but they still want you, and given the opportunity they wouldn't turn you away.

"Want" makes it seem like a persistent longing. Maybe it's just a passing level of attraction. It depends on the people and the level of interaction.

No one is obsessively beautiful and sexually attractive to everyone.