Can Men and Women Be Truly Just Friends?

Rain Man · #1 05-23-2006, 09:48 PM

Yes, they can

IF AND ONLY IF the friendship is at arms length. Lemme explain:

If a man and a woman see each other only on occasion and are cautious not to show each other all their business (read: their most personal and intimate parts of their souls), then yes, they can stay friends. But once that line is crossed, a soul tie develops and either one party or the other is going to want more out of the relationship and that is where the trouble comes in. Because men naturally start to develop an "attraction" toward the woman or vice versa.

Two ways to prevent this from happening: one, don't let the other party know all your business. Know what to express to your friend and what to keep to yourself. Two, go out together with a group of mutual friends. That way, the focus is not on the two of you, and there is less pressure and incentive to "bare your souls".

And I speak from years of experience on this one, so trust me.

ETA: A lot of the women I was involved with who wanted to be "just friends" with me were a bunch of spiritual and emotional freeloaders who wanted the security and benefits of being in a relationship without the committment required to maintain one. I do not waste my time with those types. If a woman says, "Let's just be friends", I say, "HECK NAW" and get outta dodge.

They ain't about to cry on my shoulder and keep me awake until 3 and 4 in the morning telling me sob stories about how some thug kicked them to the curb after they got f[rea]ked and chucked by them. As they say, "Save the drama for your mama".

Keep your distance from the opposite sex unless and until the romantic feelings you have are mutual. It saves everyone a whole lotta mess.

southernelle25 · #2 10-17-2006, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

ETA: A lot of the women I was involved with who wanted to be "just friends" with me were a bunch of spiritual and emotional freeloaders who wanted the security and benefits of being in a relationship without the committment required to maintain one. I do not waste my time with those types. If a woman says, "Let's just be friends", I say, "HECK NAW" and get outta dodge.

They ain't about to cry on my shoulder and keep me awake until 3 and 4 in the morning telling me sob stories about how some thug kicked them to the curb after they got f[rea]ked and chucked by them. As they say, "Save the drama for your mama".

Isn't that what friends do, provide a shoulder for the other to unload all this "drama"?

DSTCHAOS · #3 10-17-2006, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southernelle25

Isn't that what friends do, provide a shoulder for the other to unload all this "drama"?

I feel what Rain Man is saying.

I don't let anyone unload their drama on me. I'll listen to a couple of stories from my real friends but, for the most part, I'm not the one to call if you have constant and ongoing stress in your life. I like to have peace so my small group of friends know that they need to have more good than bad stuff to share with me (on a constant basis) or I will mysteriously be unavailable whenever they call.

thesweetestone · #4 10-17-2006, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

I feel what Rain Man is saying.

I don't let anyone unload their drama on me. I'll listen to a couple of stories from my real friends but, for the most part, I'm not the one to call if you have constant and ongoing stress in your life. I like to have peace so my small group of friends know that they need to have more good than bad stuff to share with me (on a constant basis) or I will mysteriously be unavailable whenever they call.

I agree with with Rain Man and you. Letting others unload all their crap on you will drive you CRAZY.

PositivelyAKA · #5 10-18-2006, 02:23 AM

yes you can be just friends, if neither is attracted to the other. but most of the time somebody wants to be more than just friends and will go along with the "friendship title" until they either get what they want or give up and move from the "friendship

PrettyBoy · #6 10-18-2006, 02:44 AM

I don't think men and women can be friends. They can be associates but not friends. Well...maybe in some rare cases, but I've never had that luck. I've tried to be friends with women and they always have wanted more. They'll seem to be friends with me, but as soon as I find interest in another woman as more than friends, they get jealous, and the whole time I'm thinking "Wow, I thought we were just friends."

DSTCHAOS · #7 10-18-2006, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I don't think men and women can be friends. They can be associates but not friends. Well...maybe in some rare cases, but I've never had that luck. I've tried to be friends with women and they always have wanted more. They'll seem to be friends with me, but as soon as I find interest in another woman as more than friends, they get jealous, and the whole time I'm thinking "Wow, I thought we were just friends."

How did you manage to fit into this thread with such a big head? Just kidding. Trust that you will be able to find (maybe plenty of) women who only want to be platonic with you. If your male ego can stand it.

I find that many men's egos can't, so be prepared to receive what you're asking for.

Sidebar: I have male friends who I've had for yeeeeeears and it has remained platonic. This doesn't mean there isn't some attraction with some of them or that they wouldn't try to get down if there was an opportunity. However, those of us who don't feel the need to date or have sex with everything that expresses interest in us are able to keep friendships platonic if we don't want to ruin the genuineness of it.

AKA_Monet · #8 10-27-2006, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I don't think men and women can be friends. They can be associates but not friends. Well...maybe in some rare cases, but I've never had that luck. I've tried to be friends with women and they always have wanted more. They'll seem to be friends with me, but as soon as I find interest in another woman as more than friends, they get jealous, and the whole time I'm thinking "Wow, I thought we were just friends."

I'm sorry, but you post that kinna thing, I havta see it to believe it...

You are talkin' good game but are you willin' to put dem "nutz" on the table lak dat dere?

Show me how "pretty" you are? And nunna this stuff where I do it first... 'Cuz folks who are on here know me... And you're single and turning girls on... I'm not.