dropping membership

GDIfly · #1 10-09-2006, 04:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

the chapter i advise had the situation once, where an initiated member who was on executive council dropped her membership, and it was heck to get anything back from her-she was seen around campus in a lettered t-shirt, which upset the members no end. short of hiring guido to strong arm her, what can ya do?!?!? why would someone who thought so little of her sisters and the organization want to continue to portray herself as being a part of that org? maybe it was just to tick everyone off?

I understand getting letters and memorabilia back from an uninitiated pledge, but an initiated member? If she didn't think "so little of her sisters" but rather had to drop her membership for purely financial or personal reasons, would you have tried to get her letters back? What if a member came from another school and was, for whatever reason, not allowed to affiliate into the new chapter? Then would you have wanted to take her stuff away or stop walking around campus in letters?
I just don't understand how a sorority could claim to offer lifetime membership to someone and then remove those privileges in certain circumstances. That doesn't seem like lifetime membership to me? I'm really not snarking here, just surprised.

FSUZeta · #2 10-09-2006, 07:45 AM

this young woman made the choice to drop her membership based on none of the scenarios that you proposed, gdifly.while i served as an advisor at the time that this took place, and am fully apprised of the entire incident, i cannot explain any further than that.

greek letter organizations offer lifetime membership to those who want it for a lifetime.

a young woman who transfers from another school is not obligated to try to affiliate with the chapter on her new campus. if she leaves campus #1 and has not started the affiliation process at campus #2, she is considered an alumna, and has all the rights and privileges of full membership, whether or not she affiliates. as far as the chapter not allowing a sister to affiliate, she would still be a member of the national org., just have alumnae status.

most chapters try very hard to work with any member who is having financial problems, family problems, grade problems, etc. to help them find a solution that will solve their problem and allow the member to keep her membership. if the member still does not seem comfortable and drops her membership, they probably would not ask her to return her stuff, with the exception of her badge. i think that the chapter would probably expect her to not wear anything that identifies her as still holding membership in the sorority when she is on campus. if she is no longer contributing to the chapter and adhering to their rules of conduct, she should not be representing herself on campus as still being a member.

33girl · #3 10-09-2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GDIfly

I understand getting letters and memorabilia back from an uninitiated pledge, but an initiated member? If she didn't think "so little of her sisters" but rather had to drop her membership for purely financial or personal reasons, would you have tried to get her letters back? What if a member came from another school and was, for whatever reason, not allowed to affiliate into the new chapter? Then would you have wanted to take her stuff away or stop walking around campus in letters?
I just don't understand how a sorority could claim to offer lifetime membership to someone and then remove those privileges in certain circumstances. That doesn't seem like lifetime membership to me? I'm really not snarking here, just surprised.

If she had to self terminate for the reasons you stated, she probably respects the sorority enough to no longer wear letters since she realizes she's no longer a member. One of my friends left DZ for $$$ issues and she would never have dreamed of wearing letters afterwards, even though she was still friends with all the sisters.

Someone from another campus who doesn't affiliate - I don't think anyone said they were opposed to that.

We're talking about the girls who get kicked out of the sorority because they stole tons of $$$ or hazed pledges or never came to events or were just generally batshit crazy. They didn't follow thorough on their promises to always respect the sorority and their sisters, so there is no reason for the sorority to follow through on their promise of lifetime membership.

GDIfly · #4 10-09-2006, 11:56 AM

Thanks for your answers. I understand the situations where someone is crazy, disrespectful, bitchy, joined for the wrong reasons, etc. and leaves in bad standing. There are a plethora of valid reasons for wanting memorabilia, letters, and badge back in those situations.

However, a person who isn't able to support the sorority financially for her time in college is no longer considered a member? I'm just not grasping this. It's possible that all chapters and national organizations provide plans for girls with financial troubles, in which case I'm making up an inconceivable situation. If so please tell me.
If someone were to leave a sorority purely and 100% for financial reasons, then she is no longer a member? Can she obtain alumna status without transferring, graduating, or dropping out? I just don't see that as a situation where someone would be disrespecting the promises she made to the sorority. Can't she be a member of the national organization without currently contributing financially to the local chapter?

33girl · #5 10-09-2006, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GDIfly

However, a person who isn't able to support the sorority financially for her time in college is no longer considered a member? I'm just not grasping this. It's possible that all chapters and national organizations provide plans for girls with financial troubles, in which case I'm making up an inconceivable situation. If so please tell me.
If someone were to leave a sorority purely and 100% for financial reasons, then she is no longer a member? Can she obtain alumna status without transferring, graduating, or dropping out? I just don't see that as a situation where someone would be disrespecting the promises she made to the sorority. Can't she be a member of the national organization without currently contributing financially to the local chapter?

If someone runs into unforeseen financial troubles (i.e. her dad loses his job with no warning or something similar) most sororities will attempt to help her with a payment plan, and some groups will allow her to be on a special status where she has to pay less, or become an alumna earlier. If she becomes an alumna, she can no longer participate in day to day collegiate chapter activities, but she is still a sister. These type of policies are all varied from sorority to sorority.

But sometimes they just don't have the money for dues and - this is the important thing - don't wish to work to find a way to obtain it or get on a payment plan. I'm sure most chapters would rather have a woman be honest and tell them that XYZ just isn't important enough to them to fork out the money for dues and leave on relatively good terms, then keep saying she reeeeaallly wants to pay and participate and never follows through.

kddani · #6 10-09-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If someone runs into unforeseen financial troubles (i.e. her dad loses his job with no warning or something similar) most sororities will attempt to help her with a payment plan, and some groups will allow her to be on a special status where she has to pay less, or become an alumna earlier. If she becomes an alumna, she can no longer participate in day to day collegiate chapter activities, but she is still a sister. These type of policies are all varied from sorority to sorority.

But sometimes they just don't have the money for dues and - this is the important thing - don't wish to work to find a way to obtain it or get on a payment plan. I'm sure most chapters would rather have a woman be honest and tell them that XYZ just isn't important enough to them to fork out the money for dues and leave on relatively good terms, then keep saying she reeeeaallly wants to pay and participate and never follows through.

What you said is exactly right. There's people with legitimate financial issues. But then there are people where mommy and daddy decided not to pay for the sorority anymore, and they don't want to a) get a job or b) drop their Louis Vuitton/high bar tabs/designer jeans habits. Those people I had little to no sympathy for.

tunatartare · #7 10-09-2006, 12:44 PM

A couple of years ago a girl in Kappa at my school was on financial aid. Her family had a lot of financial problems, I think one of her parents lost his/her job. The girl couldn't afford tuition and housing even with the financial aid, let alone dues. The Kappas got together and helped to pay her dues. In addition, through a fund with KKG HQ, the sorority was able to help pay some of her college costs for that semester. One of our alumnae told us this at an alumnae reunion. It happened when she was an active. I think that this is an awesome story and shows the meaning of sisterhood.

PhoenixAzul · #8 10-09-2006, 01:02 PM

Oddly enough, whenever sisters have dropped out of my sorority here, we've never had a problem with this. Mostly the letters are just given to littles/bigs. Members get a lot of letters through hand-me-downs, very few are bought, so it isn't that big of a deal I suppose. But we've never had anyone represent themselves as a member when they are not.

ISUKappa · #9 10-10-2006, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KLPDaisy

A couple of years ago a girl in Kappa at my school was on financial aid. Her family had a lot of financial problems, I think one of her parents lost his/her job. The girl couldn't afford tuition and housing even with the financial aid, let alone dues. The Kappas got together and helped to pay her dues. In addition, through a fund with KKG HQ, the sorority was able to help pay some of her college costs for that semester. One of our alumnae told us this at an alumnae reunion. It happened when she was an active. I think that this is an awesome story and shows the meaning of sisterhood.

This is the Rose McGill Fund, founded by the Kappa Kappa Gamma Foundation, which helps any member (active or alumna) in times of financial need. I love reading the Rose Recipient letters in the Key or hearing them, they always make me tear up!!

Please for the love of all things holy, can we not get on the whole who owns the badge argument? kthx.

Tom Earp · #10 10-09-2006, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

What you said is exactly right. There's people with legitimate financial issues. But then there are people where mommy and daddy decided not to pay for the sorority anymore, and they don't want to a) get a job or b) drop their Louis Vuitton/high bar tabs/designer jeans habits. Those people I had little to no sympathy for.

Agree whole heartedly.

There is a difference between the two.

Can or does Sororitys place members on Alum status for financial problems as opposed to just dropping them from the rolls?

greekalum · #11 10-09-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

Can or does Sororitys place members on Alum status for financial problems as opposed to just dropping them from the rolls?

Tom, this question has already been answered:

"If someone runs into unforeseen financial troubles (i.e. her dad loses his job with no warning or something similar) most sororities will attempt to help her with a payment plan, and some groups will allow her to be on a special status where she has to pay less, or become an alumna earlier. If she becomes an alumna, she can no longer participate in day to day collegiate chapter activities, but she is still a sister. These type of policies are all varied from sorority to sorority."

Are you asking which sororities do this? I think this is a policy issue that is really only relevant to members of each organization and I am sure individual members can find the answer as it applies to them through their organization.

GDIfly · #12 10-09-2006, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If someone runs into unforeseen financial troubles (i.e. her dad loses his job with no warning or something similar) most sororities will attempt to help her with a payment plan, and some groups will allow her to be on a special status where she has to pay less, or become an alumna earlier. If she becomes an alumna, she can no longer participate in day to day collegiate chapter activities, but she is still a sister. These type of policies are all varied from sorority to sorority.

But sometimes they just don't have the money for dues and - this is the important thing - don't wish to work to find a way to obtain it or get on a payment plan. I'm sure most chapters would rather have a woman be honest and tell them that XYZ just isn't important enough to them to fork out the money for dues and leave on relatively good terms, then keep saying she reeeeaallly wants to pay and participate and never follows through.

That makes sense! Thank you!

KLPDaisy, that is an awesome story. Really uplifting!

KSUViolet06 · #13 10-09-2006, 11:58 AM

My chapter has done individualized payment plans for girls with financial issues. I know that with my chapter, if a girl terminates for financial reeasons, it's usually after a prolonged period of the chapter trying to help her and doing all that we can, and it comes to a point where we need the money and we've tried everything to help and she just can't afford it. It's never "Oh you missed ONE payment of dues this semester? You're out of here."

It really doesn't matter WHY a woman terminates her membership. She could do so because she hates us all or because she loves the sorority to death, but just can't afford it. The point is, that our letters are for members only. Once you sign the paperwork, for WHATEVER reason, you are no longer a member, and you do not have the privilege of wearing them. I'm not trying to snark, but that's just how it goes.