WTF she joined my sorority?!

[_Lisa_]

I think that writing a letter about a personal grudge might only make you look petty to the chapter sisters, but an informative letter about her undesirable habits could get your point across just fine.

[PhoenixAzul]

Originally Posted by _Lisa_

I think that writing a letter about a personal grudge might only make you look petty to the chapter sisters, but an infomative letter about her undesirable habits could get your point across just fine.

As long as you are 100% SURE about her drink/drug habits. If you heard this through a friend of a friend of a friend...that's not so reliable. It's a pretty big accusation to make, even if it is *just* sorority recruitment. Keep in mind that people read/see those letters, so word will spread around the campus she lives on. If untrue, you can land in a world of crap.

And I agree with those who said mention the undesireable traits, but leave boyfriend out of it.

[ForeverRoses]

During recruitment one of my sisters recognized a PNM from her dorm the year before. They had had a couple of run-ins and really didn't get along. However the PNM developed a "rush crush" with one of the senior officers who was really pressing for her to get a bid. Anyway, my sister bit her tongue and just tried to wait and see. Anyway the PNM DID get a bid and ended up being an AWESOME addition. The PNM/new sister ended up seeking out my sister and apologized for her past behavior.

However since this involves an ex, if the new gf does go through recruitment, couldn't you just fill out a recomendation form and from what I have seen, most have a space for "would you recommend this person for membership"- you could say "No". Simply state the facts, try and keep emotions out of it. Since she is at a different school, you have to trust that you sisters at that school will do what is best for the sisterhood.

[sdsuchelle]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

As long as you are 100% SURE about her drink/drug habits. If you heard this through a friend of a friend of a friend...that's not so reliable. It's a pretty big accusation to make, even if it is *just* sorority recruitment.

Oh, I know for sure. I've seen it with my own eyes.

I mean, she probably doesn't drink any more than some other college students, but she also smokes marijuana.

I also heard that the night she met my boyfriend, she had originally told his younger brother that he was "hot" and she "wanted to $&@! him". She went on to tell another friend the same thing, and then finally moved onto my boyfriend.

I'm not really a jealous ex about this, though. I'm glad our relationship is over -- it wasn't right for me. I'm just mad that this girl has ruined any chance of me having a friendship with him again.

[MSKKG]

If you do send a letter or make a phone call, I think it would be better to go through the membership advisor. If she sees things progressing too far, she can inform the membership chairman of the situation. There is no point in airing this girl's dirty laundry to people she may not want to be friends with.

If it were a matter of just not liking her, there would be no harm in her joining ADPi at another chapter. However, if she is a risk in the ways you mentioned, you have every reason to be protective of your sorority. P.S., is there any way you can let the Kappas know, too?!?

[PhrozenGod01]

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

Oh, I know for sure. I've seen it with my own eyes.

I mean, she probably doesn't drink any more than some other college students, but she also smokes marijuana.

I also heard that the night she met my boyfriend, she had originally told his younger brother that he was "hot" and she "wanted to $&@! him". She went on to tell another friend the same thing, and then finally moved onto my boyfriend.

I'm not really a jealous ex about this, though. I'm glad our relationship is over -- it wasn't right for me. I'm just mad that this girl has ruined any chance of me having a friendship with him again.

It would probably be better if you were as honest as possible about your anger over your (ex)boyfriend issue with this girl. Drinking and smoking weed are things that many college students do, including women in sororities(although there were no ADPis on my campus, I bet there are sisters in your org across the nation who do those things). You might seem like a snitch instead of someone who feels rightfully scorned. Just say that she would be a detriment to the quality of sisterhood in your organization. If she is too promiscuous, say that you don't want your sisters to catch an STD or something. It's harsh... but I feel you. If a potential aspirant of my fraternity did something like that to me, ruining my personal life like that, I'd make sure that either he never wants in, or that the entire campus knows I can't stand him. And you know how strongly I feel about keeping intra-fraternity beef behind closed doors.

[greekalum]

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

she probably doesn't drink any more than some other college students, but she also smokes marijuana.

Honestly, she sounds like a skank, but I don't see how you can report this without seeming like the bitter ex. It'd be one thing if she had four DUIs (and, I suppose, MIPs to go with them) or a coke habit, but someone who drinks as much as the average college student and smokes pot? And makes poor relationship choices? Isn't enough, in my mind, to raise a red flag over.

The real crazy skank party girls make themselves known pretty readily without alums "reporting" them.

[sdsuchelle]

My problem with her mostly stems from the fact that she's a psycho and just generally not a good person... she's one of those girls who causes drama wherever she goes. A few months after I broke up with my ex, I called him to make amends and try to be friends. He was totally fine with it, and things were great until she called me like 10 times the next day to bitch me out for speaking to him. Oh, and I was at work. Then she proceeded to text me incessantly (even though I stopped talking to my ex, regretfully). I had to change my phone number.

Yeah, shes one of THOSE girls.

Let's just hope she doesn't rush.

*crosses fingers*

[KSUViolet06]

We cut a girl during recruitment that slit our secretary's tires in HS. I think that is a very valid reason to cut someone.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

We cut a girl during recruitment that slit our secretary's tires in HS. I think that is a very valid reason to cut someone.

Hehehe...see, it pays to never burn bridges! If women don't want things like this to come back and haunt them, they should be nicer people.

[Tom Earp]

If I am correct, this must have been a BF/GF H S thing as her Ex BF just joined SN.

If this person is so bad, I think the Chapter would have some smart women in it and will catch on very quickly.

Crying wolf can make you look like a former G F who carrys a grudge.

If you contact said chapter, I would suggest that you only say be careful of this girl and leave it at that.

If it is not your chapter, then so what? If she does get in, she is only one person out of the many who are members.

[Xidelt]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

If I am correct, this must have been a BF/GF H S thing as her Ex BF just joined SN.

If this person is so bad, I think the Chapter would have some smart women in it and will catch on very quickly.

Crying wolf can make you look like a former G F who carrys a grudge.

If you contact said chapter, I would suggest that you only say be careful of this girl and leave it at that.

If it is not your chapter, then so what? If she does get in, she is only one person out of the many who are members.

Tom Earp: Creeping everybody out in yet another sorority thread...

[chitownxo]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

If I am correct, this must have been a BF/GF H S thing as her Ex BF just joined SN.

If this person is so bad, I think the Chapter would have some smart women in it and will catch on very quickly.

Crying wolf can make you look like a former G F who carrys a grudge.

If you contact said chapter, I would suggest that you only say be careful of this girl and leave it at that.

If it is not your chapter, then so what? If she does get in, she is only one person out of the many who are members.

1) She's not "crying wolf." She has first-hand knowledge of less-than-desirable behavior. Nor is she carrying a grudge. She has made her peace with her ex and moved on.

2) It may not be her chapter, but it is her sisterhood. I see nothing wrong with her, should this lady (for lack of a better term) go through recruitment, giving her sisters a heads up. In these overly litigious days, you cannot be too careful.

3) It would be pretty difficult to just say "be careful of this girl." The members of the other chapter would, in all probability, want to know why. My organization has a procedure for informing other chapters of pnms would could be potential risk management issues; I would not be surprised to find out that ADPi has a similar system.

4) Recruitment can be hectic, and most everyone is on her best behavior. I highly doubt that this girl would tell sorority members during recruitment that her hobbies include harassing her boyfriend's ex-girlfriends and using marijuana on a non-medicinal basis. If she's crazy enough to let that slip, whether or not sdsushelle contacts that chapter becomes a non-issue. You're always better off safe rather than sorry.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by greekalum

Honestly, she sounds like a skank, but I don't see how you can report this without seeming like the bitter ex.

With all due respect, I think she has a right to be bitter. Although this situation is just as much the ex-boyfriend's fault, I don't look favorably upon women who sleep around with my, my friends', or my sisters' boyfriends. Unfortunately this happens, even within chapters, but if that info. was made available to me by a sister during recruitment, about a woman going through recruitment, I would take it seriously. The drugs/drinking is icing on the cake.

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

With all due respect, I think she has a right to be bitter. Although this situation is just as much the ex-boyfriend's fault, I don't look favorably upon women who sleep around with my, my friends', or my sisters' boyfriends. Unfortunately this happens, even within chapters, but if that info. was made available to me by a sister during recruitment, about a woman going through recruitment, I would take it seriously. The drugs/drinking is icing on the cake.

Exactly. That's hardly sisterhood. Girls are catty and evil. If this girl can do this to you, think about the potential she has for chapter drama.