Trust - Page 2

KAY10 · #16 09-24-2006, 11:43 PM

9 times out of 10 that's what's going to happen. I call that the marry go round effect. Someone hurts someone innocent, then that person loses trust and gets insecure and turns around and hurts the next person. It's like the energizer battery, it keeps going and going and going.

I really hope you find someone nice though. Someone that makes you happy and someone your happy with. It sucks that it's hard to trust in relationships now a days.

AGDee · #17 09-25-2006, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttonz

It's not like I'm looking for someone new...but I'm just afraid that when the time is right, I'll wind up not being able to full trust someone new and wind up hurtig him without meaning to.

Think of it this way. You might be more cautious next time, recognize a bad relationship pattern earlier, and move more slowly in a relationship, but are those bad things?

33girl · #18 09-25-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttonz

It's not like I'm looking for someone new...but I'm just afraid that when the time is right, I'll wind up not being able to full trust someone new and wind up hurtig him without meaning to.

Then just come here and tell us what you're doing and I'll tell you if you're being a jerk.

Buttonz · #19 09-25-2006, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

Think of it this way. You might be more cautious next time, recognize a bad relationship pattern earlier, and move more slowly in a relationship, but are those bad things?

You got a good point there

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Then just come here and tell us what you're doing and I'll tell you if you're being a jerk.

LOL..maybe

OtterXO · #20 09-27-2006, 06:53 PM

I have experience with your situation. I have to say, that it's hard to trust completely after you've been hurt by someone. But, one day you may meet someone who does what he says he's going to do, calls when he says he's going to call and is generally a trustworthy person. Even then, you may still have the inkling of doubt. But being paranoid is never going to help you. I think it's healthy to be realistic and know that if it happened once it could happen again, but think about it....you could be paranoid about getting hurt and the guy could end up hurting you. Or you could trust him and end up getting hurt. But even if you do get hurt in the long run, being paranoid about it is not a fun way to live your life.

My advice is to choose the men you date wisely. If red flags are popping up left and right, don't ignore them. Most women ignore red flags b/c the guy acts like he really likes them, is good on paper, etc. Trust your gut, it's usually right. Also, don't give your trust away to someone who doesn't earn it or deserve it. Hope this helps.

Wolfman · #21 09-30-2006, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttonz

It's not like I'm looking for someone new...but I'm just afraid that when the time is right, I'll wind up not being able to full trust someone new and wind up hurtig him without meaning to.

It sounds like you need some time to heal and allow the God to bring the right, trustworthy person (not perfect!) into your life, at the right time. In this way, you don't have to worry about this particular issue. This has been my experience.The problem is that, for many people,they fall prey to temptation to compromise in times of lonliness or succumb to the whispers of the inner voice regarding the fear of missing the "right one," etc.

Wolfman · #22 09-30-2006, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttonz

It's not like I'm looking for someone new...but I'm just afraid that when the time is right, I'll wind up not being able to full trust someone new and wind up hurtig him without meaning to.

It sounds like you need some time to heal and allow God to bring the right, trustworthy (not perfect!) person into your life, at the opportune time. In this way, you don't have to worry about this particular issue. This has been my experience.The problem is that, for many people,they fall prey to the temptation to compromise in times of lonliness or succumb to the whispers of the inner voice regarding the fear of missing the "right one," etc.

aleha · #23 10-04-2006, 05:16 AM

After getting hurt or being the victim in a relationship that turned sour, its only natural to fear trusting again. Even I would not be ready to take the plunge again and indulge even in a short relationship of some kind. We are mere humans and we also need some time alone to lick our wounds and let it heal. to some ti may take even years before they actually feel ready to take the stake and consider dating. It took me 2 years and some mo. before I got the courage and strength to trust again,but as it goes "Once bitten, twice shy", I have had a taste of those sour grapes, so I would be foolish to trust totally again!

I keep a ratio- its 70% of not trusting and 30%-trust ( but then I let him believe the its a total 100% trust that he's got!!!) I find this much better!

adpiucf · #24 10-04-2006, 11:59 AM

It takes time to heal. If you feel you can't trust, you're not ready to date again. It just takes time. Eventually, you have to get over it and get on with your life. For some people it takes longer than others and you just have to go at your own pace. When you're ready, you'll know and you'll trust. Don't rush it.

BobbyTheDon · #25 10-04-2006, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

It takes time to heal. If you feel you can't trust, you're not ready to date again. It just takes time. Eventually, you have to get over it and get on with your life. For some people it takes longer than others and you just have to go at your own pace. When you're ready, you'll know and you'll trust. Don't rush it.

Don't listen to this advice. This has got to be the worse advice ever given on the face of GC. And believe you me, I've seen some horrible advice on this message board filled with late 30 something ladies who are probably too overweight to ever get married or marrieg again.

I'm just joking! teehee

Rudey · #26 10-05-2006, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobbyTheDon

Don't listen to this advice. This has got to be the worse advice ever given on the face of GC. And believe you me, I've seen some horrible advice on this message board filled with late 30 something ladies who are probably too overweight to ever get married or marrieg again.

I'm just joking! teehee

Donda esta la biblioteque pedro?

The perfect image that some guys have of a sweet girl that wouldn't be mean to anyone doesn't exist, so why not have a little fun at her expense? And then when you're 35, marry a hot 25 year old who thinks you're mature and she has a lot in common with you (remember we want prenup).

-Rudey