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Originally Posted by kdonline
That's an excellent point, CutiePie.
Say you meet this woman who originally contacted you online. You realize that it probably wouldn't work out for whatever reason (which you keep to yourself - as we all know, Membership Selection is ritual). This is just you, a regular alumna, with no immediate national contacts.
Now, is it up to YOU to tell this PNAM that it's not going to work?
Or do you just not answer their calls/PMs/IMs/emails?
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In an ideal world, I think the best thing to do would be to tell these women "I'm sorry but it's not going to work out, but I do wish you the best of luck" -- and she would accept this information and move on.
In practice though, some people just don't hear the word "No" and would keep persisting. And honestly, some of us aren't really all that assertive when telling someone no (I know I'm not). If you aren't explicitly clear with your rejection, they're going to hang onto hope based on some sort of ambiguous thing you've said.
I think the nice thing to do is clearly and unambiguously tell a PNAM no, and then if she keeps persisting, you're free to refrain from engaging in further correspondence.
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