Sorority Shopping?

[DGMarie]

There is always this confusion between the ideal and aspirations of the national organization and the local alumnae chapter.

I see women over and over again aspiring to be a member of XYZ group before she has met one single person from the local chapter.

• It is the local chapter that will sponsor you.
• It is the local chapter that will question why you want to join them.
• It is the local chapter that will either say gee you're swell or you don't fit us at all.

Had I not clicked with the local chapter and had a strong prior association with DG I would not have been offered the chance to be initiated. If I had not clicked with them, I wouldn't have decided to try Alpha Phi, or ZETA or Pi Phi, for example. All wonderful organization in their own right, but I had no *connection* with them.

[Scandia]

Alpha Chi Emily- Though I have spoken to people from a 5 sororities that seemed appealing, I have only directly contacted the headquarters of the two that were the best matches for me. Until I meet with them in person, I cannot say if one is a perfect fit- but those two seem to be the ones where I would fit in best.

Greekalum- I am not quite sure what you mean. My example is not exactly what happened to me, but not totally hypothetical either. There were members of my A Phi O pledge class who were in sororities- and I still talk to some through MySpace. However, neither one of those are as good a match as the ones I contacted directly. Great organizations, but they are better suited for those specific friends than for myself.

DGMarie- I have not met with any local chapters yet. That will be a big part- whether I click with them or not. After all, it will show in practice what someone who follows those ideals is.

[DGMarie]

Originally Posted by Scandia

DGMarie- I have not met with any local chapters yet. That will be a big part- whether I click with them or not. After all, it will show in practice what someone who follows those ideals is.

I'm not sure what you mean by "follow those ideals." How will you know? On what basis will you make your decision? Try to remember these are real grown up people, not ideals, certainly not walking manifestations of the national motto or creed. Nor will these likely EVER be seriously discussed at an alumnae function. We drink coffee, have taco salad, stuff endless (endless) newsletters and have little monthly social gatherings, chat about our children etc.

How will you answer their questions if they ask you point blank why you want to be an XYZ when there are so many other women's organizations you could join? (sorry if you've answered this because I haven't read all your posts.)

[Scandia]

DGMarie- A secret society with so many interesting traditions and rituals does appeal to me. I like mysteries of that sort. It was simply thrilling to run into some of my A Phi O brothers at my job and do the secret handshake with the. It is a unique bond. Plus there are also friendships to be made, and charitable causes to be assisted, and many other events that can certainly be a great experience.

Adpiucf- well, in addition to the philanthropies and ideals espoused in their creeds, there are other aspects such as the information displayed on the site and the way it is done. And sometimes your intuition just gives a signal. Or sometimes you remember people in a chapter being nice to you and you have the memories.

AUDeltaGam- I sure did not! I do not remember how I found out about AI- just the feeling of an airplane soaring into the sky that I got when I read that it existed.

EE-BO- you bet I have given it serious thought. Hence I have posted here to learn more about it- as well as read many GLO websites, asked people at my job whether they were in sororities (so far nobody has), and done as much investigation as I can.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Scandia

DGMarie- A secret society with so many interesting traditions and rituals does appeal to me. I like mysteries of that sort. It was simply thrilling to run into some of my A Phi O brothers at my job and do the secret handshake with the. It is a unique bond. Plus there are also friendships to be made, and charitable causes to be assisted, and many other events that can certainly be a great experience.

Adpiucf- well, in addition to the philanthropies and ideals espoused in their creeds, there are other aspects such as the information displayed on the site and the way it is done. And sometimes your intuition just gives a signal. Or sometimes you remember people in a chapter being nice to you and you have the memories.

But you're not going to be involved in rituals -- once a year tops if there's a collegiate chapter nearby, and even less if there is not. And ritual does not create a unique bond. Friendship creates a unique bond.

And you're telling me you're attracted to a sorority because of they way they designed their website? Seriously? Scandia, intuition is not something you glean off a web site. You get it from interactions with flesh and blood people, not MySpace or Greek Chat people on the internet.

I really think that with every post you make on GC, you paint a picture that screams out this process is not right for you. I'm not standing up on a mountaintop singing, "Nah nah nah, I'm in a sorority and you're not," but you can't go by philanthropies and ritualistic mysteries in the process of AI. You must be invited by someone who is a member. You're not going to get that on GC, MySpace, Facebook or arbitrarily contacting HQ's. I think you need to not pursue this quite so strongly and just get involved with your community. If you meet sorority alumnae with whom you click, they'll recognize that there is something special about you and invite you to their AA and maybe get the process going. AI is not membership recruitment.

[DGMarie]

Just what do you think goes on at an alumnae meeting???

Rituals and handshakes? Candles and secret codes?

We have lots of coffee. Sometimes even bad coffee. All 5 of us!

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by DGMarie

Just what do you think goes on at an alumnae meeting???

Rituals and handshakes? Candles and secret codes?

We have lots of coffee. Sometimes even bad coffee. All 5 of us!

Coffee??? You're in the wrong alumnae group. Our meetings only lack alcohol if it's a morning gathering for breakfast.

[kdonline]

Originally Posted by DGMarie

Just what do you think goes on at an alumnae meeting???

Rituals and handshakes? Candles and secret codes?

We have lots of coffee. Sometimes even bad coffee. All 5 of us!

SO true!

And even at alumnae meetings, we are DISCOURAGED from talking about ritual or doing anything REMOTELY RELATED to ritual because
1) there's always someone new @ a mtg and their membership has not been verified
2) usually, meetings are in a public place, so there are lots of people around
3) if the meetings are @ someone's house, sometimes there are husbands & kids around..

In my 21 years of being a Kappa Delta & meeting many sisters randomly, I don't think I ever met one & said anything ritual/secret to them, nor was I ever asked.

I've only heard of fraternity members verifying their memberships by handshakes/passwords.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

But you're not going to be involved in rituals -- once a year tops if there's a collegiate chapter nearby, and even less if there is not. And ritual does not create a unique bond. Friendship creates a unique bond.

And you're telling me you're attracted to a sorority because of they way they designed their website? Seriously? Scandia, intuition is not something you glean off a web site. You get it from interactions with flesh and blood people, not MySpace or Greek Chat people on the internet.

I really think that with every post you make on GC, you paint a picture that screams out this process is not right for you. I'm not standing up on a mountaintop singing, "Nah nah nah, I'm in a sorority and you're not," but you can't go by philanthropies and ritualistic mysteries in the process of AI. You must be invited by someone who is a member. You're not going to get that on GC, MySpace, Facebook or arbitrarily contacting HQ's. I think you need to not pursue this quite so strongly and just get involved with your community. If you meet sorority alumnae with whom you click, they'll recognize that there is something special about you and invite you to their AA and maybe get the process going. AI is not membership recruitment.

Cosign dude.

[LPIDelta]

Your alumnae experience is what you make of it.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

But you're not going to be involved in rituals -- once a year tops if there's a collegiate chapter nearby, and even less if there is not. And ritual does not create a unique bond. Friendship creates a unique bond.

I really think that with every post you make on GC, you paint a picture that screams out this process is not right for you. You must be invited by someone who is a member. You're not going to get that on GC, MySpace, Facebook or arbitrarily contacting HQ's. AI is not membership recruitment.

You are awesome.

I haven't gone through ritual in over three years--and I'm active in the local alumnae association and I help out with the collegiate chapter nearby. I imagine the next time I go through it will be either if I attend a convention or I advise a chapter--neither of which will be for quite some time!

I've said this before, but I believe that NPC AI needs to be more like grad chapter initiation for NPHC groups, at least on the PNAI's part. My (biological) sister did her research in private--maybe by going on the sororities' websites, but not relying on the internets--and showed her interest in other ways, by being active in the community and rubbing elbows with some of the women in the grad chapter through events. Some of them knew our family, which probably helped; plus, she had a connection to her organization. She did not post her "homecoming story!" on GC. She did not let anyone else know what she was looking into at any time other than the appropriate one. She pursued sorority membership with DISCRETION, and it worked well for her. Most of the women that I know who have gone through NPC AI have similar stories--and those are the ones we like to hear.

Finally, Florida is a small state. Even though I haven't lived there for over seven years, I have AXO connections in every major city. If you annoy/offend/gross out someone on the internets, you could be jeopardizing your AI chances.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

But you're not going to be involved in rituals -- once a year tops if there's a collegiate chapter nearby, and even less if there is not. And ritual does not create a unique bond. Friendship creates a unique bond.

And you're telling me you're attracted to a sorority because of they way they designed their website? Seriously? Scandia, intuition is not something you glean off a web site. You get it from interactions with flesh and blood people, not MySpace or Greek Chat people on the internet.

I really think that with every post you make on GC, you paint a picture that screams out this process is not right for you. I'm not standing up on a mountaintop singing, "Nah nah nah, I'm in a sorority and you're not," but you can't go by philanthropies and ritualistic mysteries in the process of AI. You must be invited by someone who is a member. You're not going to get that on GC, MySpace, Facebook or arbitrarily contacting HQ's. I think you need to not pursue this quite so strongly and just get involved with your community. If you meet sorority alumnae with whom you click, they'll recognize that there is something special about you and invite you to their AA and maybe get the process going. AI is not membership recruitment.

Completely excellent.

[AUDeltaGam]

Originally Posted by Scandia

AUDeltaGam- I sure did not! I do not remember how I found out about AI- just the feeling of an airplane soaring into the sky that I got when I read that it existed.

I never named names in my post.

[Scandia]

I know you didn't. I was just saying how I stumbled upon it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DGMarie

• It is the local chapter that will sponsor you.
• It is the local chapter that will question why you want to join them.
• It is the local chapter that will either say gee you're swell or you don't fit us at all.

Not always. That depends on the GLO.

And as a side note, I didn't know we had this cool little feature where you can make a list. Thanks DGMarie, you are S-M-R-T smart.