Sorority Shopping?

[Scandia]

What if your closest exposure to a specific sorority (say, a friend or co-worker of yours) is a GLO that does not really match your personality or ideals. That you cannot see yourself being a member of, even though it is a great match for the person you know. However, you decide to investigate more about sororities (without necessarily having AI in mind)- and come across one that is a fantastic match for you, but was not at the university you attended. And it does engage in AI without major restrictions. Your friend says good things about it, even though she ended up joining a different one. She talks to you about AI, and now you would love to belong to that new organization. Wouldn't this be a valid reason to approach AI?

[greekalum]

Did you interact with any members of this organization, or are you just acting on the insight of your non-member friend, would be my first question.

[DGMarie]

There is always this confusion between the ideal and aspirations of the national organization and the local alumnae chapter.

I see women over and over again aspiring to be a member of XYZ group before she has met one single person from the local chapter.

• It is the local chapter that will sponsor you.
• It is the local chapter that will question why you want to join them.
• It is the local chapter that will either say gee you're swell or you don't fit us at all.

Had I not clicked with the local chapter and had a strong prior association with DG I would not have been offered the chance to be initiated. If I had not clicked with them, I wouldn't have decided to try Alpha Phi, or ZETA or Pi Phi, for example. All wonderful organization in their own right, but I had no *connection* with them.

[Scandia]

Alpha Chi Emily- Though I have spoken to people from a 5 sororities that seemed appealing, I have only directly contacted the headquarters of the two that were the best matches for me. Until I meet with them in person, I cannot say if one is a perfect fit- but those two seem to be the ones where I would fit in best.

Greekalum- I am not quite sure what you mean. My example is not exactly what happened to me, but not totally hypothetical either. There were members of my A Phi O pledge class who were in sororities- and I still talk to some through MySpace. However, neither one of those are as good a match as the ones I contacted directly. Great organizations, but they are better suited for those specific friends than for myself.

DGMarie- I have not met with any local chapters yet. That will be a big part- whether I click with them or not. After all, it will show in practice what someone who follows those ideals is.

[DGMarie]

Originally Posted by Scandia

DGMarie- I have not met with any local chapters yet. That will be a big part- whether I click with them or not. After all, it will show in practice what someone who follows those ideals is.

I'm not sure what you mean by "follow those ideals." How will you know? On what basis will you make your decision? Try to remember these are real grown up people, not ideals, certainly not walking manifestations of the national motto or creed. Nor will these likely EVER be seriously discussed at an alumnae function. We drink coffee, have taco salad, stuff endless (endless) newsletters and have little monthly social gatherings, chat about our children etc.

How will you answer their questions if they ask you point blank why you want to be an XYZ when there are so many other women's organizations you could join? (sorry if you've answered this because I haven't read all your posts.)

[Scandia]

DGMarie- A secret society with so many interesting traditions and rituals does appeal to me. I like mysteries of that sort. It was simply thrilling to run into some of my A Phi O brothers at my job and do the secret handshake with the. It is a unique bond. Plus there are also friendships to be made, and charitable causes to be assisted, and many other events that can certainly be a great experience.

Adpiucf- well, in addition to the philanthropies and ideals espoused in their creeds, there are other aspects such as the information displayed on the site and the way it is done. And sometimes your intuition just gives a signal. Or sometimes you remember people in a chapter being nice to you and you have the memories.

AUDeltaGam- I sure did not! I do not remember how I found out about AI- just the feeling of an airplane soaring into the sky that I got when I read that it existed.

EE-BO- you bet I have given it serious thought. Hence I have posted here to learn more about it- as well as read many GLO websites, asked people at my job whether they were in sororities (so far nobody has), and done as much investigation as I can.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Scandia

DGMarie- A secret society with so many interesting traditions and rituals does appeal to me. I like mysteries of that sort. It was simply thrilling to run into some of my A Phi O brothers at my job and do the secret handshake with the. It is a unique bond. Plus there are also friendships to be made, and charitable causes to be assisted, and many other events that can certainly be a great experience.

Adpiucf- well, in addition to the philanthropies and ideals espoused in their creeds, there are other aspects such as the information displayed on the site and the way it is done. And sometimes your intuition just gives a signal. Or sometimes you remember people in a chapter being nice to you and you have the memories.

But you're not going to be involved in rituals -- once a year tops if there's a collegiate chapter nearby, and even less if there is not. And ritual does not create a unique bond. Friendship creates a unique bond.

And you're telling me you're attracted to a sorority because of they way they designed their website? Seriously? Scandia, intuition is not something you glean off a web site. You get it from interactions with flesh and blood people, not MySpace or Greek Chat people on the internet.

I really think that with every post you make on GC, you paint a picture that screams out this process is not right for you. I'm not standing up on a mountaintop singing, "Nah nah nah, I'm in a sorority and you're not," but you can't go by philanthropies and ritualistic mysteries in the process of AI. You must be invited by someone who is a member. You're not going to get that on GC, MySpace, Facebook or arbitrarily contacting HQ's. I think you need to not pursue this quite so strongly and just get involved with your community. If you meet sorority alumnae with whom you click, they'll recognize that there is something special about you and invite you to their AA and maybe get the process going. AI is not membership recruitment.

[AUDeltaGam]

Originally Posted by Scandia

AUDeltaGam- I sure did not! I do not remember how I found out about AI- just the feeling of an airplane soaring into the sky that I got when I read that it existed.

I never named names in my post.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DGMarie

• It is the local chapter that will sponsor you.
• It is the local chapter that will question why you want to join them.
• It is the local chapter that will either say gee you're swell or you don't fit us at all.

Not always. That depends on the GLO.

And as a side note, I didn't know we had this cool little feature where you can make a list. Thanks DGMarie, you are S-M-R-T smart.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by 33girl

And as a side note, I didn't know we had this cool little feature where you can make a list. Thanks DGMarie, you are S-M-R-T smart.

It will help the PNAMs list out the sororities they have shopped for.

• Rainbow Brite
• My Little Ponies
• Care Bears
• Fraggle Rock
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
• He-Man
• She-Ra

[Runs for cover]

[BadSquirrelBeta]

We need to see if Carnation's Cruddy Phi Cruddy allows for AI.

I just couldn't resist...sorry.

[texas*princess]

adpiucf - you hit it right on the nail!

I believe this has been said before, but fundamentally, most sororities are based on the same things. We want to foster friendships, encourage scholastic achievement, create and develop great leaders, give back to the community and create a sense of sisterhood.

A good 99.99% of NPC sororities have SOMETHING to that effect in their creeds/open mottos/etc.

So Scandia if you are basing your decision on websites and their creeds, I hate to burst your bubble, but that won't narrow down your search.

When you go through recruitment (at the college level), most women know that in a general sense, most chapters do about the same things (have sisterhood times, socials, philanthropy events, academic stuff). One of the things I have noticed is that a lot of their decision is based on their ability to connect to the women already in the chapter.

At a post-graduate level, it should pretty much be the same.

If you pick a sorority based on the cool pin that you get to wear twice a year, or the awesome ritual you will see at the very most once a year, you might as well put all 26 sororities on a piece of paper and pick one out of a hat.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by Scandia

What if your closest exposure to a specific sorority (say, a friend or co-worker of yours) is a GLO that does not really match your personality or ideals. That you cannot see yourself being a member of, even though it is a great match for the person you know. However, you decide to investigate more about sororities (without necessarily having AI in mind)- and come across one that is a fantastic match for you, but was not at the university you attended. And it does engage in AI without major restrictions. Your friend says good things about it, even though she ended up joining a different one. She talks to you about AI, and now you would love to belong to that new organization. Wouldn't this be a valid reason to approach AI?

Scandia, I think some people here are uncomfortable with the idea (and I'm getting to that point myself) of someone approaching a sorority without any sort of connections -- and by that I mean having a very close friend or relative bring up the idea of AI to you. I'm all about AI for women that have done a lot for either an individual chapter or the philanthropy at large, like being a staff advisor. Ditto for mothers or sisters of members who have been very involved with the sorority. In your case, an argument could be made that you don't have strong enough connections to this organization to merit an AI attempt. Some people would say that it would be fine to attempt to AI with this group.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you contact multiple sororities??? I'm not trying to be contentious, you just made it sound in this post like you found ONE sorority that you thought would be a perfect fit, but I thought you had contacted a few to begin with.

To answer your question, it's a free country and you can approach AI with whatever GLO will accept your request. I wouldn't rely on what a nonmember friend says about an organization, honestly, a nonmember's opinion of a GLO really means squat. And to sum it up, you're free to do whatever you want but just know that some people on GC will be supportive of your AI search and some won't.

Edited for clarity, which has apparently eluded me these past few weeks, LOL

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by Scandia

What if your closest exposure to a specific sorority (say, a friend or co-worker of yours) is a GLO that does not really match your personality or ideals. That you cannot see yourself being a member of, even though it is a great match for the person you know. However, you decide to investigate more about sororities (without necessarily having AI in mind)- and come across one that is a fantastic match for you, but was not at the university you attended. And it does engage in AI without major restrictions. Your friend says good things about it, even though she ended up joining a different one. She talks to you about AI, and now you would love to belong to that new organization. Wouldn't this be a valid reason to approach AI?

How do you know the GLO doesn't match your personality or ideals? Are the members of the local alumnae association satan-worshippers who kick puppies? In anyone's "search" for a sorority, throw the national names and symbols out of the mix. The local alumnae association and its composition of members are all that matters. These are the women you'll be interacting with-- and your interactions will largely be composed of planning meetings and the occasional happy hour or charity event/fundraiser. Who cares if that charity supports promotion of visions, children's literacy or domestic violence? Given a regular calendar year, an alumnae association will hold a big event to sponsor its philanthropy and maybe some smaller service events toward this cause, but they will also hold other events for other philanthropies, too. Ritual is something you will be lucky to participate in annually, if at all. Alumnae associations are run like service clubs-- and there are not regular mandatory meetings, so attendance is sporadic at best.

How do you determine that a sorority seems appealing? The people who are actually living, breathing members of the local group are the sorority. If you don't know any of them, you can't begin to profess "interest."

[AUDeltaGam]

I definitely agree with what many of you are saying. AI SHOULD be for women who have a prior connection to a sorority, not a woman who wakes up and says "Gee, I think I'll join a sorority today!" (a cookie to whoever gets the movie reference )