Reflections...DAMN I"M GETTING OLD!

[DeltAlum]

Hey PTKSU,

You're not getting old -- you're growing up. There's a difference.

I think there are numerous times during our lives (I think a book called them Passages) which bring about substantial change. One of those times is during the latter years of college as we all have (or had) to start looking at what lies down the road for us personally and professionally. Those times can be both exciting and terrifying.

That scares some people, and the feel they have to make some sort of decision(s). Some make good ones, some bad. Sometimes the best thing to do is put them off for a while.

The good news is that you have looked at some other people (in this case, your parents) and have decided to try to do it better. That's good, but it should not cripple your ability to move forward. Having said that, there's really no hurry either.

Some things you will do better -- and some you won't. Everyone makes mistakes.

For me, there was no specific time when the earth moved or the clouds parted and a voice from heaven told me that the time to do anything was right now. That was true of marriage, career decisions, having children or anything else. While I don't say that's the case for everyone, a lot of us would be left standing around feeling befuddled if we waited for that devine inspiration before making a move.

In terms of marriage, I dated a lot in high school and college and had a great time, but I was weary of the game. There were three or four women whom I think would have made a fine life companion. The one I chose is wonderful -- but probably not the "only" one. I did have a firm committment to a lasting marriage, though -- probably because my parents were divorced. There was no epifany that this was my time -- but I felt comfortable that this was a relationship that was solid and would last.

That committment has been tested at times -- they all are -- but has lasted over thirty years. There have been lots of things we haven't agreed on, but our committment was strong enough to deal with those tests.

I suppose what I would say to you is not to panic. What you feel is natural. You're not supposed to know all of the answers yet. The time will come when you are more comfortable with the next stage of life. Don't rush into it -- but don't hide from it either.

Good luck.