Military Spouses, Parents and Families

[amanda6035]

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

Thank you, yes! Just because I'll be living in the house and be on title, still no guarantee history won't repeat itself (and yes, he knows all about that guy).

As for the promise ring, it's definitely an idea - haven't done it since high school, lol. But I'm curious, would you and he wear it on your right hand instead?

It's your choice. We wore them on our left. Mine was a simple white gold band with a couple of small diamonds and pink saphires. His was....really unique. It was actually like two bands that interlocked. It kinda looked like a yin yang symbol. When we got engaged, I moved my promise ring over to my right hand and wore them both. Now I just wear that ring whenever I'm wearing something pink and it matches. Haha.

[Army Wife'79]

The reason I said you need a ring is because we teach young officer's wives in the "Commander's Wives Class" not to give info to anyone other than a wife or in certain circumstances a fiance. There is "info" and there is "info". Personally, I only gave info to a fiance if I had met her in person at a "Hail & Farewell" and had seen the diamond with my own eyeballs. I'm not going to risk my husband's units safety by telling something to a non-wife, who might go to a bar and cry and mention where he is and the unit's name. It's like a Hollywood party with a "A" list and a "B" list. You will be on the "B" list for info. Ft. Campbell is known for it's "closed ranks" and security rules. They will confiscate cell phones before announcing a mission, complete the mission, and then give phones back. It can be very frustrating on the wives back home but is necessary. You also need to talk to him about if something happens to him, will you be kicked out of the house b/c his mortgage payments will stop and his estate will be in probate?

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

The reason I said you need a ring is because we teach young officer's wives in the "Commander's Wives Class" not to give info to anyone other than a wife or in certain circumstances a fiance. There is "info" and there is "info". Personally, I only gave info to a fiance if I had met her in person at a "Hail & Farewell" and had seen the diamond with my own eyeballs. I'm not going to risk my husband's units safety by telling something to a non-wife, who might go to a bar and cry and mention where he is and the unit's name. It's like a Hollywood party with a "A" list and a "B" list. You will be on the "B" list for info. Ft. Campbell is known for it's "closed ranks" and security rules. They will confiscate cell phones before announcing a mission, complete the mission, and then give phones back. It can be very frustrating on the wives back home but is necessary. You also need to talk to him about if something happens to him, will you be kicked out of the house b/c his mortgage payments will stop and his estate will be in probate?

I know all about getting info from the other guy I dated - I was lucky enough to befriend some women online and met one in person prior to them coming home and she was able to get me info without me being part of the FRG. I have already told him to make sure I'm on the list so that I won't be excluded from getting info. Thanks for letting me know about Campbell though, I've never been there so I had no idea what it was like. I know what you mean though about keeping the unit safe and not blabbing info. I have a close friend whose husband is Navy and deploys a lot because of the nature of his job and she's very secretive about his missions (with good reason!). Luckily, I work two jobs and plan on keeping myself very busy (and distracted) to make the time go by faster, and to make mortgage payments, LOL.

As far as the house goes, I addressed that this morning in another post. Not sure what would happen to the loan though, but legally, the house would belong to me. Hopefully though, it will be a moot point because he's going to be just fine

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by Army Wife'79

The reason I said you need a ring is because we teach young officer's wives in the "Commander's Wives Class" not to give info to anyone other than a wife or in certain circumstances a fiance. There is "info" and there is "info". Personally, I only gave info to a fiance if I had met her in person at a "Hail & Farewell" and had seen the diamond with my own eyeballs.

Star sapphires sink ships!

[Army Wife'79]

When we gave briefings to the spouses, we had MP's check Military ID's at the door and if you didn't have one, you were not allowed inside. You would not believe the stories I could tell you of who soldier's put on their "notify list" including some who met a girl at a bar the week before, decided they were soul mates, and then put them on the list. When they were contacted, the women didn't even remember hooking up with the guy.

I've always thought there should be a test to take before becomming a military wife b/c so many meet during college and have no idea what it's like to move every 2 years for 20 years uprooting their kids from their friends/schools/sports and being sent to places like Alaska, Kansas, Korea, Ft. Irwin (middle of CA desert 2 hrs from anything). When I married him I had dreams of Hawaii and Europe and never got to be stationed at either (but did go as a tourist). The Army asks you to fill out a "dream sheet" of where you want to be stationed next and they totally disregard it and send you to wherever they want you. In 26 years, we got one assignment that was on the dream sheet.

[SthrnZeta]

Luckily for me I've moved several times in my life already and no I'm not a military brat - did go to three different high schools though... I have no illusions about being stationed in exotic places. He is thinking of inquiring about an ROTC slot when he returns from this deployment (and again he wouldn't have much of a choice as to where we went) and if he can't work something out, he'd like to go Guard and I do realize there's no guarantee there that he won't deploy again if that's what ends up happening. Even under IRR I know you can be called up again. I have already told him though that I'll go wherever he goes when he gets back - I just hope it's in the South, preferrably GA. But if he does the ROTC thing and gets, say, VA Tech, I won't be mad

[scbelle]

Well, when he gets back, his time should be up, right? Why doesn't he just get out after the 90 day stabilization time?

[SthrnZeta]

LOL, he's mentioned so many options, I don't think he knows what he wants to do. He's talked of getting out and finding a comparable civillian job, he's talked of trying to do ROTC for a bit first (I think he misses college and would LOVE to go back to UGA ROTC). What sucks is, his ETS is May 08 and of course he'll be deployed by then Stupid stop-loss.

[scbelle]

Ok, someone with more experience can maybe help me out with this one (my husband's a career guy, so we've never really talked about this in particular)... his ETS is May 08, but he'll be deployed. He's just getting ready to finish the career course, which tacks on another year of service. Will that be a year from his graduation, or a year from his current ETS?

[afboiler]

Originally Posted by scbelle

Ok, someone with more experience can maybe help me out with this one (my husband's a career guy, so we've never really talked about this in particular)... his ETS is May 08, but he'll be deployed. He's just getting ready to finish the career course, which tacks on another year of service. Will that be a year from his graduation, or a year from his current ETS?

First officers do not have an ETS he has an ADSO. Four years from the day he was commissioned or five if he is West Point. You get a year ADO for completion of the Captains Career Course. If you move stateside he gets years but it serves concurrently with the Career Course year. If gets an overseas assignment (like Germany) he gets a two to three year commitment. If he is deployed he can not get out he will be stop lossed until 90 days upon return from deployment. Also, he owes a total of 8 years so how many years he has left we will send them in the reserves (active on inactive)

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by afboiler

First officers do not have an ETS he has an ADSO. Four years from the day he was commissioned or five if he is West Point. You get a year ADO for completion of the Captains Career Course. If you move stateside he gets years but it serves concurrently with the Career Course year. If gets an overseas assignment (like Germany) he gets a two to three year commitment. If he is deployed he can not get out he will be stop lossed until 90 days upon return from deployment. Also, he owes a total of 8 years so how many years he has left we will send them in the reserves (active on inactive)

No, I knew all that stuff. What I was trying to find out for SthrnZeta was, will the year ADO start from his graduation date or from his original ADSO date? He's deploying, so it's not like it all really matters, but just for my own personal edification. I work with a lot of junior officer wives that have questions like that, and it's a good thing to know.

[afboiler]

His ADO will start when he signs into the new unit. One year from that day is what he will owe the Army. Is he a Captain. If he is did he take the bonus money?

[SthrnZeta]

That's a good question - that's just the date showing on his LES. Now I would assume it would tack on another year onto his ETS - actually, come to think of it, that's exactly what he told me it would be. So he'll be home right around the time his ETS comes up and that's why he was thinking of just getting out when he gets back.... Of course he'll be at Campbell for his 90 days which kinda sucks for him since I'll have all his furniture and a home ready for him...

[Jill1228]

I just saw this thread.
Do military brats count?
I am a Navy Brat--I was even born in a military hospital. My father is retired from the Navy
Right now my cousin is in Iraq (Army). My "brother" (one of my best friends, he says I am the bratty little sister he never had) is a US Naval Academy Grad

[scbelle]

Originally Posted by Jill1228

I just saw this thread.
Do military brats count?
I am a Navy Brat--I was even born in a military hospital. My father is retired from the Navy
Right now my cousin is in Iraq (Army). My "brother" (one of my best friends, he says I am the bratty little sister he never had) is a US Naval Academy Grad

Of course they count! I'm glad you found the thread.