WTF she joined my sorority?!

[AnchorAlumna]

Michelle,
I occasionally have to write a no rec on somebody. I check the box for "I do not recommend" and attach a Post-It note that says "PLEASE CALL ME FOR DETAILS." That way there is nothing written that could come back to haunt you or the chapter later. If they do not call, call them. (No, I would not e-mail - lingering e-mails are as bad as something written.) When you talk to them, you can outline your reasons. OR you can ask a fellow ADPi to write the rec. Drinking and smoking pot may be harmless to some people, but it's a risk a chapter would take in pledging this person.
And to Tom and you guys, you may think it's no big deal if somebody joins another chapter of your fraternity, but sororities have organization-wide ties and events that may mean you could run into this person the rest of your life.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

And to Tom and you guys, you may think it's no big deal if somebody joins another chapter of your fraternity, but sororities have organization-wide ties and events that may mean you could run into this person the rest of your life.

Yes, I think most of us on this board know that.

However, we ALL have to run into people we don't like, all the time! I don't think this is worth all the worry. Perhaps the girl doesn't even meet the requirements to rush any sorority in the first place. Maybe she doesn't want to join a sorority at all.

[PhrozenGod01]

This seems like something that a good prank could solve...

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

Yes, I think most of us on this board know that.

However, we ALL have to run into people we don't like, all the time! I don't think this is worth all the worry. Perhaps the girl doesn't even meet the requirements to rush any sorority in the first place. Maybe she doesn't want to join a sorority at all.

Why take the chance?

Let's put things into perspective... Does she holds the values of your sisterhoood? Do you think she will appreciate that you will not oppose to having her in your house? Is there any possibility you will bump into her? Do you really think "he" is worth it? Do your really think their values in their relationship are stronger than your values and your house's values?

Move On! Enjoy your ADPi life in college. Perhaps, she is not even thinking about you know. Does she likes to stalk? Don't hesitate to put a restraining order, they are for "psychos".

[SigKapSweetie]

I would no-rec her. If she never rushes, the chapter never has to use it. If she does, you'll save them from whatever drama she might have caused as a member, and you'll never have to deal with having your sorority represented by someone whose moral character you question. If there's a Sigma Kappa chapter there and you've got friends in it, I wouldn't mind you letting them know, either.

[GeorgiaGirl]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

With all due respect, I think she has a right to be bitter. Although this situation is just as much the ex-boyfriend's fault, I don't look favorably upon women who sleep around with my, my friends', or my sisters' boyfriends. Unfortunately this happens, even within chapters, but if that info. was made available to me by a sister during recruitment, about a woman going through recruitment, I would take it seriously. The drugs/drinking is icing on the cake.

I completely agree. I would definitely write a letter. If you wouldn't want this girl wearing your letters and representing your organization, then you should tell the chapter that.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by sdsuchelle

Okay, so I was wondering.. has anyone ever had someone you LOATHE join your org (either at your school or another)? How did you deal with it?

My ex and I dated for 4 years, until he cheated on me with this girl who is now a freshman in college. She is pretty much the reason we don't really talk anymore -- she won't let him call me, he denies my comments on myspace because "she might see them", etc. Basically she is a psycho.

Anyway, he just joined Sigma Nu, and one of her best friends joined ADPi. I am really worried that she'll rush too.

Is it irrational or mean of me to freak out with the thought that she might rush ADPi? She goes to a different school than I do.

Seriously I don't think I could handle it.

Too bad hazing is a felony now. If it wasn't you could really make her work REAL HARD for those letters, if you know what I mean.

[RU OX Alum]

see....that can back fire if they don't quit....then they get in and you're the jerk, and it's awkward (sp?) for everyone...that's why we have black ball, sometimes its just takes one, sometimes it takes 1/3 of chapter, but those votes can be gotten

[GVSU_SigPi_Gea]

i have a short attention span, so i didnt make it thru all 4 pages of replies, so if someone already said this, i apologize.

many chapters across the nation have ways of keeping members out of their organizations through the new member votes. depending on how presigious your organization is (im talking recognition within your national/international organization or on campus, not just how awsome you think your chapter is), you can take steps to developing much stricter means of member selection.

The privledges of being a greek is being selective. Some are moreso than others. A few chapters within my organization have chapters that turn away pledges if they receive as little as 3 no votes, maybe even less. My mind comes to a chapter we have down south with over 90 active members. Our chapter averages about 40 members, and if any pledge receives 5 no votes, they don't get in.

So, if this girl does end up rushing, make sure you come up with a tactful argument against this girl's character, and do it in such a way that it stirs up enough dissention that will fulfill your denial of membership requirement.

God i love being selective.

[irishpipes]

Grand Valley Sigma Pi-

Congratulations on your chapter's success!

Originally Posted by GVSU_SigPi_Gea

i have a short attention span, so i didnt make it thru all 4 pages of replies, so if someone already said this, i apologize.

many chapters across the nation have ways of keeping members out of their organizations through the new member votes. depending on how presigious your organization is (im talking recognition within your national/international organization or on campus, not just how awsome you think your chapter is), you can take steps to developing much stricter means of member selection.

The privledges of being a greek is being selective. Some are moreso than others. A few chapters within my organization have chapters that turn away pledges if they receive as little as 3 no votes, maybe even less. My mind comes to a chapter we have down south with over 90 active members. Our chapter averages about 40 members, and if any pledge receives 5 no votes, they don't get in.

So, if this girl does end up rushing, make sure you come up with a tactful argument against this girl's character, and do it in such a way that it stirs up enough dissention that will fulfill your denial of membership requirement.

God i love being selective.

Your signature:
Sigma Pi
Building a New Generation of Leaders

Founding Father,
Theta Rho Chapter,
Grand Valley State University

Since our founding day on 10/26/03, we went from awsome colony to a Top 3 Chapter in our region, and a top 12 chapter in the Sigma Pi Nation. What has your chapter done the last three years?

I believe.


I am an alumna, but I hope that my collegiate chapter has learned to type and spell in the past 3 years. (Hint: awEsome, not awsome)

That is great that you are proud of your chapter and I am sure you and your brothers have worked very hard. I am not one of the "snarky" posters on GC, but when you have a signature and a post as arrogant as these, and you bait other greeks with "what has your chapter done...", you open yourself up to criticism.

And, very uncool to be so indiscreet about membership selection and voting. Obviously I am not an IFC member nor am I a Sigma Pi, so I don't know if that is considered ritual or not, but it seems improper.

Sorry to be such a downer.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

And, very uncool to be so indiscreet about membership selection and voting. Obviously I am not an IFC member nor am I a Sigma Pi, so I don't know if that is considered ritual or not, but it seems improper.

I get the impression that in many IFCs, info about MS, such as how many votes it takes to pledge/depledge someone is not ritual-type info. We had an advisor in my college chapter that was a Kappa Alpha Order, and he stated many times that most KA Orders are "one ball chapters"...meaning one "no" vote, and you don't get a bid.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I get the impression that in many IFCs, info about MS, such as how many votes it takes to pledge/depledge someone is not ritual-type info. We had an advisor in my college chapter that was a Kappa Alpha Order, and he stated many times that most KA Orders are "one ball chapters"...meaning one "no" vote, and you don't get a bid.

I was always very happy to have been among those who was involved in a major "clean sweep" of our storage area - and was the one who got to throw out the Black Ball Box! Had ebay been around then, I'm sure that it would have fetched a great price!

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I get the impression that in many IFCs, info about MS, such as how many votes it takes to pledge/depledge someone is not ritual-type info. We had an advisor in my college chapter that was a Kappa Alpha Order, and he stated many times that most KA Orders are "one ball chapters"...meaning one "no" vote, and you don't get a bid.

This type of information could be (maybe still) found on some fraternity's inter/national websites.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

We had an advisor in my college chapter that was a Kappa Alpha Order, and he stated many times that most KA Orders are "one ball chapters"...meaning one "no" vote, and you don't get a bid.

That's what he wanted you to think. LOL. Sorry, but that one was too easy.