Always a PNM, never a sister.

[wareagle93]

Bump

[ellebud]

Ok...having nothing to do with the veracity of the OP's story..

Your chapter receives a rec for Betty Sue Bippie from an alum who is 50, across the country and not from you school. The alum waxes poetic about Betty Sue and what a great girl she is. You read her stuff and you can't wait to meet her....That is what the rec is for...but was the writer truthful? Please don't say that you will never trust her again..damage done (or not).

Your chapter receives a no rec for the same girl from the same woman....Or a no rec from an active in another part of the United States. You see...Betty Sue has several issues. You've read her application and she seems fine (Vice president for two years of the French Club!)..Do you believe the no rec? Or do you dismiss the active as a malevolent discontent?

Oh...and what about the company line: GIRLS TALK!!!! I mentioned in my daughter's thread about a pnm who lied and didn't receive a bid. It was the straw that broke her recruitment...Does the adage the Row only talks (or doesn't) to suit your criteria at the moment.

And as for Wary, it wasn't just that the mom kept talking. Members were banned for going after the kid. And it wasn't because the pnm did anything, her mother did. A

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by 33girl

That's exactly what I mean. People seem to actually be believing that ONE PERSON writing ONE LETTER can influence a whole Greek system with no other backup.

We found out after the fact of pledging one young woman that her cousin in another chapter (they were both locals) had essentially blackballed her. Did this young woman turn out to be a stellar sister? In a word, no. But even if we'd known beforehand about what her cousin did, I doubt very much that it would have made us reject her out of hand with no further discussion. Second look, yes, cut immediately, no.

I'm aware of a similar situation where all the other chapters had cut one young lady except the chapter I was assisting. Other groups were shocked she was still on anybody's list and the Panhellenic President called our president to say "Do you know that _____ is heavily into drugs and everybody else has dropped her because she's out of control?" The women in the chapter did do a little more research, found it to be true and dropped her from their next invite list. They were grateful for the heads up. That's the type of behavior I could see leading to a "letter" that would result in something like that.

[arrowlady]

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm aware of a similar situation where all the other chapters had cut one young lady except the chapter I was assisting. Other groups were shocked she was still on anybody's list and the Panhellenic President called our president to say "Do you know that _____ is heavily into drugs and everybody else has dropped her because she's out of control?" The women in the chapter did do a little more research, found it to be true and dropped her from their next invite list. They were grateful for the heads up. That's the type of behavior I could see leading to a "letter" that would result in something like that.

If a chapter has done some research then I can understand listening to a letter. But it is a little scary to me that some of these chapters would just listen to the word of some random girl and base a decision on just what someone said..

[carnation]

Yep. Something's not adding up.

[PeppyGPhiB]

I believe the OP's story, and I don't think she had to have necessarily done anything to her roommate to cause her to write such a letter. C'mon, we all know how easy it is to no-rec a girl (some women on this very board have claimed to have done it) to our own sorority. All it takes is one no-rec and a girl (or girls) with loose lips to completely damage a PNM's reputation...especially for something as fragile as recruitment. Some girls are just mean, stuck-up little biotches who decide they don't like someone based on a very shallow reason, such as appearance. She didn't need to write a letter to all of the chapters - she only had to tell someone, or one of her friends who knew about the letter told someone, for it to get around to all of the sororities. When you're trying to sort through all the women going through recruitment, you're really going to give the benefit of the doubt to a PNM? Right. It's unfortunate for the OP that she ran across this vindictive girl.

I do have to say, though, that I think it's odd the OP would get any encouragement from DZ (I consider an invite back in successive rounds of recruitment to be encouraging in this case) if that's the one chapter the mean girl is a member of, and the source of the tension. OP, is it possible you were released by the other chapters because they sensed that you didn't want them? A LOT of women do that during recruitment, and it makes absolutely no sense...you want EVERY chapter to want you regardless of whether you want them back, and you should never be a sourpuss at a party because it's not your favorite.

[33girl]

^^^^Yes, but to believe and act on the word of ONE collegiate sorority member? Unless the member in question is the most trusted human on earth since Walter Cronkite, or unless her family bankrolls the entire University, I just can't see it happening.

If it was a Code of Conduct violation, she would have been released from rush by Panhellenic or more likely the Student Affairs director directly, and they would have HAD to notify her why she was being released (due process) She certainly wouldn't have been permitted to go through a second time if it was something that egregious.