Wedding planning

[WhiteDaisy128]

Book the church and the reception facilities (for ease, go with a reception location that does food too)...

The book a photographer.

Then buy a dress.

Then order bridesmaid dresses (they can take up to 5 months to come in!!)

Then order invitations

Obsess about details (bubbles vs. rice? out of town boxes? programs? music selections? etc.)

I'm pretty active on TheKnot and as long as you stay in certain places, the site is very helpful. I'd be glad to tell you how to see my stuff there...just send me a PM here and I'll tell you my knot user name and you can see my bio. stuff.

The best place to get ideas is to go to the knot's message boards and look through bios. Also check out www.specialtybios.com -- there are great ideas there.

Hope that helps! I'm at the 2 month mark and have sooo much stuff done!

[ZTABullwinkle]

I haven't gone MIA. I appreciate all the congratulations.

I have seen that cake topper, and it is cute. But as much as my fiance is not involved in wedding planning, he may put his foot down on that one.

I went out and bought photo pages to start cutting out my ideas and get them organized in a binder. That and a wedding planner are two things I knew I was going to need.

As for when to have the wedding...I was talking to someone in physical therapy, and she suggested the middle of September. I thought it was a good idea, but my concern was that it was rather close to Labor Day. Would people want to travel to the wedding? I plan on sending Save the Date cards, so people can have "notice" of the date.

My mom is not big on the wedding planner idea. While I don't have the $$$ to spend on a wedding, nor do I want to spend a life's fortune on the wedding, she is concerned that I am going to be wanting one of those weddings you see on "whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the Style network. (Great show!) I am just concerned that I will feel overwhelmed and get stressed out.

The budget has yet to be discussed. There are some things that have taken priority in my family's mind. I am waiting patiently and not trying to be a pain in the arse. I think I may push for some kind of talk in the next couple of weeks.

I have to send PMs to those of you on here. I would love to see what you are talking about!

Once again.....
THANK YOU!!!

[angelic1]

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

I am newly engaged. I have seen the threads on wedding dresses and engagement rings. I am stuck as to where to start with my wedding planning. My thoughts are so scattered and overwhelming that the thought is pretty daunting.

We have yet to set a date, since there seems to be many things to take into account...such as:

• my best friend is my maid of honor, and I am in her wedding on June 28, 2008. So how far apart do you plan your weddings so you don't go nutso with both weddings?
• getting married during September or October here in Virginia Beach means that an univited hurricane may be coming
• getting married in late July or August is going to be HOT!!!

So, any advice would be extremely helpful!! Thanks!

Wow, could our situation being any simular? And I am not some nutso bridezilla I just recently got engaged and one of my best friends is getting married in June (actually June 14). I am going through the same thing of picking a date because I live in Richmond. I don't want to put it to close to her date, but then August can be very hot and humid, but then September - October you have to worry about nasty storm possibilities.

I think we are going to go for a late September - Early October date indoors though. The place has a nice outdoor area though.

As for what to do next, I am in the same boat, but I did good a book to help me plan.

[ISUKappa]

I used an accordian-style divided file folder instead of a binder. I found it much easier to carry around (and for a while, I had it with me at all times).

We got married the weekend after Labor Day (almost four years ago, now) and had no comments from anybody about traveling two weekends in a row. If people want to be there, they'll come no matter when it is.

You don't have to spend $$$ to have a nice wedding. If there are things you can do yourself, (make favors, print invitations/programs, etc...) do them! I designed and printed my own invitations, programs, save the dates, and favors. My mother (who is a wonderful seamstress) made all the bridesmaids dresses. We had a BBQ for the rehearsal dinner instead of a catered restaurant meal.

[SoCalGirl]

The advantage of having a post Labor Day wedding is that the hotels will be a lot cheaper. You might want to start considering in what part of town you want the wedding and reception. Chesapeake, Norfolk, Sandbridge, Pungo, or at the Beach? If you have the reception at one of the Beach hotels they'll probably give you an even better rate on rooms.

[Educatingblue]

Originally Posted by Jill1228

Congrats hon!

First, relax. Make sure you have the wedding YOU want, not the wedding the parents want.

Unless they say that they are paying for something and SHOW YOU DA MONEY, assume you are paying for it yourself

The wedding is just for one day...it is just the start of things

if something goes wrong, take a deep breath and calm down

Learn to delegate! Do not try to be superwoman and do everything alone.

Great advice! I have been married almost 2 years now and sometimes people think that because they have known you for a lifetime, they need to put their 2cents worth in your wedding. If you have YOUR idea of YOUR fairytale wedding, discuss that with your future husband and see if that is within your budget.

In regards to choosing a date, the best place to start is wherever you are thinking of getting married. Depending on your church/place of worship they may have a 6 month-1 year waiting period for counseling or whatever.

I guess with any source of information be it GC or the knot you have to use your best judgment. I was a knottie and found some good information that I was able to use (such as do it yourself stuff) and a lot of useless information.

[sherbertlemons]

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

I went out and bought photo pages to start cutting out my ideas and get them organized in a binder. That and a wedding planner are two things I knew I was going to need.

As for when to have the wedding...I was talking to someone in physical therapy, and she suggested the middle of September. I thought it was a good idea, but my concern was that it was rather close to Labor Day. Would people want to travel to the wedding? I plan on sending Save the Date cards, so people can have "notice" of the date.

My mom is not big on the wedding planner idea. While I don't have the $$$ to spend on a wedding, nor do I want to spend a life's fortune on the wedding, she is concerned that I am going to be wanting one of those weddings you see on "whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the Style network. (Great show!) I am just concerned that I will feel overwhelmed and get stressed out.

THANK YOU!!!

Congratulations! I'm planning my own wedding. It's now only 43 days away!

I haven't used a wedding planner and haven't really felt stressed out. This is even planning with my mother, and planning with her is an... adventure. I was also planning with only an 8 1/2 month time frame. What I did was concentrate on one thing at a time and get that all finished before I moved to the next thing. When we first got engaged, the first thing we did was pick a tentative range of dates. Then we picked a venue, and then I went dress shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping. Then I got a photographer.

I will contradict practically every one else on this thread and say that the Knot forums have seriously been one of the biggest helps I could have. Not really the national boards, but the local boards for my area. I have wonderful (and inexpensive) vendors, and every single one of them was reccommended on my local board. Just do make sure you follow the advice about not sharing personal info- there are some psychos on that board.

[angelic1]

OK ... I am still at square one in this whole planning process. At least we have some time.

Our problem is space - my fiance wants it inside so that we do not have to worry about the weather (I agreed at first), but then now I keep looking for venues in the area that would have space for 200 people seated and they are way out of my price range (bc of them not allowing outside caterers or alcohol).

You may say ok cut the amount of people - can't we are talking family here and trust me I already have (I have a very large family). So I was thinking of a compromise of indoors/outdoors.

Outdoors for the food, then move indoors for cake/dancing/etc. Has anyone done this before ... should I just do the whole thing outdoors at this point then?

[APhi Sailorgirl]

Ok I am bumping this because I know that GC will hopefully give me some better advice than what I'm finding on theknot.com.

Here's the deal, my fiance and I have picked a location and just did a walkthrough last night. We love the place. It works well for all of our guests and it's a great price. Oh and they had two dates for the month we want. Plus we get the whole lower level of the place for the whole day. The hospitality/wedding coordinator lady has been great to work with so far. She answered all of our questions and concerns last night and was very upfront with details and how the events will go plus her involvement.

The only nagging thing in the back of my mind is that these other brides on theknot are totally bashing this lady and the hotels she coordinates for (it's a group of 3). They say she is hard to reach, sent contracts late and had moved weddings to different rooms to accomodate other events.

I don't know if I'm just lucky so far, if they were just bridezillas, or what. Or am I just crazy and should just worry about my situation only?

[nikki1920]

GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING.

Worry about your situation and dont let them get to you.

but get everything in writing...

[AlphaFrog]

I wouldn't put much stock in theknot, or any other place on the internet. Heck, it might be a good idea to print some of those comments out and address them with her. There are always two sides to every story, and the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. Ask her directly what her policies are on moving weddings/events, sending contracts, and etc. If you haven't signed a contract, maybe even put a clause in about how soon phone calls, etc need to be returned.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by APhi Sailorgirl

The only nagging thing in the back of my mind is that these other brides on theknot are totally bashing this lady and the hotels she coordinates for (it's a group of 3). They say she is hard to reach, sent contracts late and had moved weddings to different rooms to accomodate other events.

I don't know if I'm just lucky so far, if they were just bridezillas, or what. Or am I just crazy and should just worry about my situation only?

As with most things on internet message boards, you have to take those things with a grain of salt.

I'd say just worry about yourself and your wedding and don't be too concerned with what these people say. For all you know, they could have been total bitches who gave this woman a really hard time.

I would also suggest getting all of this woman's policies and every contract or thing you sign in writing (it's standard to do so anyway).

[Cardinal026]

I think as long as you do have a contract and keep everything in writing, and also save all e-mails, make notes after phone conversations, etc, you should be fine.

Plus, I find a majority of the women on theknot to be unnecessarily nasty. You'd think they'd be the happiest forum on the internet, basking in wedding bliss - doesn't appear to be that way in most of their threads.

I think a big part of some knotties and vendors is their attitude - if you go in with one, you'll get one right back. Be your charming self to this woman, and you'll get a lot more in return.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Cardinal026

Plus, I find a majority of the women on theknot to be unnecessarily nasty. You'd think they'd be the happiest forum on the internet, basking in wedding bliss - doesn't appear to be that way in most of their threads.

I lurked on TheKnot message boards a few times, but didn't post (I'm not getting married, just a Maid of Honor looking for bridesmaid dress ideas) and some of those women are nuts. No offense to the GC brides-to-be who post there who I'm sure are completely normal.

I distinctly remember reading a post there telling a bride to be careful what she posted on her wedding website because there have been issues with some The Knot brides screwing with other bride's plans!

She went on to say that there was once a bride on the sitewho was jealous of another bride for booking the cake baker she wanted for her own cake (who was apparently booked solid). So the psycho bride went to the other bride's website, found the bakers store address, Googled the phone #, [B]called the bakery pretending to be this other womanand CANCELLED her cake order so she could book hers!

That is totally insane.

Not to mention the other crazies who post things like:

"OMG I'm sooo mad at my Maid of Honor for not being able to come to my bridal shower!! I mean, like, who cares if her grandmother broke a hip and is having surgery this weekend! This is my big day and it is sooo much more important than her little family drama!!"

[Lady Pi Phi]

The people on The Knot are insane!!

I too am the MOH for my friend who is getting married next year, and I peruse the wedding message boards, looking at dresses and ideas and to generally help her out. Most of the time is surf weddingbells.ca and canadianbride.com. The ladies on thse message boards are warm and friendly. The "ladies" on The Knot are seriously derranged and I can't believe anyone is marrying them. Plus I hate the way their message board is laid out. I find it really hard to read.