Non participation in NPHC as a D9 member

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by grad

No, it's nothing like this. Let me clarify exactly why I don't participate. Here's an example of what one member of another NPHC sorority did (before all this happened between us, I did not know her). I used to date a guy who used to date her. He was not cheating on her with me. They were over before I came into the picture. She didn't agree with that decision so one day she went to my home and slashed the tires of his car while he was visiting. WTH? What self respecting woman in her late 30's does that? Another incident occurred at my house another day where I had to call the police on this woman. This time, he was not there. I took it personal. This had nothing to do with him anymore. She's disrupting MY home, not his. I'm the type that believes if you are an intruder in my home I have the right to shoot your a** for trespassing. Why? Because it's my home and I have the right to defend myself. Obviously I didn't shoot her. Instead I called the police.

Fast-forward to today. If I see her I will give her the a** whooping I didn't give her back then for 1) disrespecting MY house 2) scaring the sh*t out of me in MY own home and 3) being the type of woman who does this crazy sh*t for a stupid man. I mean, come on, she should have known better than to go crazy for a stupid man who didn't want her (God knows we women will if we let ourselves!).

Needless to say, I believe one invites or rejects drama. I reject it. I cut my ties with this man I was dating b/c that was just too much drama for me LOL But now I have to deal with her at NPHC events. And I'm not supposed to whoop her a**? Not supposed to say anything to her at all? Oh, let me tell you I have plenty to say to her! It's been 2 years of self control and yes, I still harbor feelings about it. How could I not?

The reason why I don't go to NPHC events is because I'm actualy worried at how I'm gonna react when I see her and what will happen due to my reaction. I'm not afraid of her. But I'm big on image and the fact that I'm a walking talking billboard for my sorority. Plus if I react, everyone will wonder why. Now my business is out for ALL the greeks in D9 to discuss (and we all know how we do it!)

So what do I do instead? I purposely avoid the situation of being around her b/c I know how I can get LOL. So, this is just one example of why I avoid NPHC events - it's more than dealing with annoying people. Annoying I can handle - I do it all the time at work. But this type of thing is more serious than that. Or am I exaggerating?

Reality check: You cannot do anything about her. All you can do is yourself. This is NOT about being greek or in a GLO. It has to do with BEING a human being. If she threatened life, liberty and property, you call the police. Your follow up would be a restraining order against her. That is the best you can do because what she is doing is provocation towards you--trying to get you to react...

The BEST revenge is indifference...

And so what if you act a fool at an NPHC event. You will DEFINITELY NOT BE THE FIRST!!! Who cares about ho-megirl and why would you be in such a state of mind to have to cuss her assets out? How can you LET someone to allow you to get in this state of mind to WANT to do that? You are much better than that--are you not?

Who made you judge, jury and executioner?

And any kneegrow that pits two women against each other--do I have to guess which fraternity he's in? Typical...

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by grad

I agree 100%




No, it's nothing like this. Let me clarify exactly why I don't participate. Here's an example of what one member of another NPHC sorority did (before all this happened between us, I did not know her). I used to date a guy who used to date her. He was not cheating on her with me. They were over before I came into the picture. She didn't agree with that decision so one day she went to my home and slashed the tires of his car while he was visiting. WTH? What self respecting woman in her late 30's does that? Another incident occurred at my house another day where I had to call the police on this woman. This time, he was not there. I took it personal. This had nothing to do with him anymore. She's disrupting MY home, not his. I'm the type that believes if you are an intruder in my home I have the right to shoot your a** for trespassing. Why? Because it's my home and I have the right to defend myself. Obviously I didn't shoot her. Instead I called the police.

Fast-forward to today. If I see her I will give her the a** whooping I didn't give her back then for 1) disrespecting MY house 2) scaring the sh*t out of me in MY own home and 3) being the type of woman who does this crazy sh*t for a stupid man. I mean, come on, she should have known better than to go crazy for a stupid man who didn't want her (God knows we women will if we let ourselves!).

Needless to say, I believe one invites or rejects drama. I reject it. I cut my ties with this man I was dating b/c that was just too much drama for me LOL But now I have to deal with her at NPHC events. And I'm not supposed to whoop her a**? Not supposed to say anything to her at all? Oh, let me tell you I have plenty to say to her! It's been 2 years of self control and yes, I still harbor feelings about it. How could I not?

The reason why I don't go to NPHC events is because I'm actualy worried at how I'm gonna react when I see her and what will happen due to my reaction. I'm not afraid of her. But I'm big on image and the fact that I'm a walking talking billboard for my sorority. Plus if I react, everyone will wonder why. Now my business is out for ALL the greeks in D9 to discuss (and we all know how we do it!)

So what do I do instead? I purposely avoid the situation of being around her b/c I know how I can get LOL. So, this is just one example of why I avoid NPHC events - it's more than dealing with annoying people. Annoying I can handle - I do it all the time at work. But this type of thing is more serious than that. Or am I exaggerating?

Why did I already know that there was more to it than you were telling at first??? First off, you need to change the "I might whoop her a-- if I see her" attitude. I feel you but these days, you can quickly become a convict walking around with these thoughts in your head. If she's not worried about you, don't be worried about her. I know one thing, I wouldn't let anyone stop me from going places and doing things. It's not like you'd be going to events by yourself. You better not be my soror or else I might have to come and go to an NPHC event with you.

[starang21]

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

:GRABS JELLO:

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by starang21

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

:GRABS JELLO:

I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!!!

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

Why did I already know that there was more to it than you were telling at first???

I was wondering the SAME thang!!!

[starang21]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!!!

:UNSURE:

THEY DON'T USE CHOCOLATE MILK AS WRESTLING MATERIAL

:UNSURE:

[grad]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

This is NOT about being greek or in a GLO. It has to do with BEING a human being.

True, but dang why did sistahgreek have to go there? For real? I thought I was 19 again!

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

And so what if you act a fool at an NPHC event. You will DEFINITELY NOT BE THE FIRST!!!

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Who cares about ho-megirl and why would you be in such a state of mind to have to cuss her assets out? How can you LET someone to allow you to get in this state of mind to WANT to do that? You are much better than that--are you not?

I am as a matter of fact, which is why I haven't gone where I know I will see her. I'm just still angry. You're right. I'm LETTING her get to me but I haven't done anything to her have I? I'm making a choice. I feel she LET this man get to her and did not control herself like she should have.
Instead of coming to MY house to do that crazyness, she could have done something else - anything - but what she did.

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Who made you judge, jury and executioner?

Point taken.

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

And any kneegrow that pits two women against each other--do I have to guess which fraternity he's in? Typical...

The same one as always

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by starang21

:UNSURE:

THEY DON'T USE CHOCOLATE MILK AS WRESTLING MATERIAL

:UNSURE:

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

[starang21]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

:WASSAT:

WHAT THE HELL

[grad]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

It's not like you'd be going to events by yourself. You better not be my soror or else I might have to come and go to an NPHC event with you.

You know RT, this thought never crossed my mind. I guess I imagine I would feel alone if I went b/c noone knows the situation. But I can now see my ghetto sorors getting down and whooping her a** wit me!

Seriously, you bring up a good point. I would probably have fun b/c I will be with my sorors and I know we always have fun no matter what.
Hmmmmm

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by grad

I am as a matter of fact, which is why I haven't gone where I know I will see her. I'm just still angry. You're right. 1)I'm LETTING her get to me but I haven't done anything to her have I? I'm making a choice. 2) I feel she LET this man get to her and did not control herself like she should have.
Instead of coming to MY house to do that crazyness, she could have done something else - anything - but what she did.

@Bolded starting with #2) That is too much judgement of a behavior you cannot control. NO ONE--NOT even her baby's daddy, will EVER understand her lack of control without medical treatment. And if you are not a licensed clinical psych evaluator--neither should you try to rationalize her actions... All you can do is actually act on your Sorority's programs and give assistance in the form of leaflets or pamphlets or call the crisis center hotline... (I am so wrong for that, I know ...) In fact, I have a EXCELLENT 1-800 number...

#1) I am happy you have CHOSEN NOT to act on your impulses. That is wonderful. You need to congratulate yourself by giving yourself a heart salutation and gift for your choice of resilience and basically keeping the faith for your enemies.

What would it take for you to move forward on this situation? Just asking? Don't forget if you need extra assistance, contact Ariafya. It is a safe-free-zone.

[grad]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

@Bolded starting with #2) That is too much judgement of a behavior you cannot control. NO ONE--NOT even her baby's daddy, will EVER understand her lack of control without medical treatment. And if you are not a licensed clinical psych evaluator--neither should you try to rationalize her actions... All you can do is actually act on your Sorority's programs and give assistance in the form of leaflets or pamphlets or call the crisis center hotline... (I am so wrong for that, I know ...) In fact, I have a EXCELLENT 1-800 number...

#1) I am happy you have CHOSEN NOT to act on your impulses. That is wonderful. You need to congratulate yourself by giving yourself a heart salutation and gift for your choice of resilience and basically keeping the faith for your enemies.

What would it take for you to move forward on this situation? Just asking?

LMAO at your post! What would it take for me to move on? Funny you should ask. Been thinking about this during this whole thread. It made me realize I do need to move on from this. So . . . . I think I'm gonna start by sharing the story with my closest soror. Knowing her personality, she'll probably LHAO! lol Then I will drag her with me to an NPHC event sometime this summer. . . She'll give me the emotional support I need while LMAO in the process b/c I know she will have jokes for my ears only!

Who says GC can't solve all your problems?

[ladygreek]

This went from having issues with members of the other NPHC sororities to having an issue with one person over a man. Posted in the GL forum rather than your own org's forum (which would seem like a better place to ask for such advice) under an assumed name.

I'm not buying it.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

This went from having issues with members of the other NPHC sororities to having an issue with one person over a man. Posted in the GL forum rather than your own org's forum (which would seem like a better place to ask for such advice) under an assumed name.

I'm not buying it.

LOL

Originally Posted by ladygreek

This went from having issues with members of the other NPHC sororities to having an issue with one person over a man. Posted in the GL forum rather than your own org's forum (which would seem like a better place to ask for such advice) under an assumed name.

I'm not buying it.

So who's the GCer?