Are your dating standards too high or too low?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Fleur de Lis

Mine are (or were - I'm married) very high. That might seem unrealistic, and it's true I didn't date a lot, but I would much rather be alone than waste time on someone who isn't perfect for me. I liked being single and the freedom that came with it, had lots of guy friends, and didn't spend a lot of time on broken hearts. Everyone has flaws, but why settle for less than the best?

You and I are ---------------->Here<----------------------Exactly.

[immAKAlate]

Mine are very high...finding someone with an education, career, no kids, faith(moral values), with no drama is hard to find...yet I am willing to try and date men of other races since my expectations are so high. But finding "Something New" is often times socially unacceptable.

[Ronnie B]

I have a girl, but I haven't been the most faithful dude though. I'm not married to her, so I think it's good to get it all out now, rather than to do it when I tie the knot. My standards are medium I guess. I'm not looking for perfection. I'm not perfect so how would that look with me trying to get a perfect woman?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by immAKAlate

Mine are very high...finding someone with an education, career, no kids, faith(moral values), with no drama is hard to find...yet I am willing to try and date men of other races since my expectations are so high. But finding "Something New" is often times socially unacceptable.

Why is that socially unacceptable?

I'm not sure what you mean by finding "Something New" but if finding "Something New" is acceptable to you, wouldn't that be what's important? Who cares what other people think?

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Why is that socially unacceptable?

I'm not sure what you mean by finding "Something New" but if finding "Something New" is acceptable to you, wouldn't that be what's important? Who cares what other people think?

She may not think that it socially unacceptable, but on the other side it may be a different story. You would be surprised to know how many people think it is unacceptable to mess with people of different races.

[KSUViolet06]

I don't find anything wrong with dating outside of my race and have done it before. If someone has the things I look for in a mate, I could care less what race they are. If someone doesn't like it they can kick rocks.

[Ronnie B]

Originally Posted by immAKAlate

Mine are very high...finding someone with an education, career, no kids, faith(moral values), with no drama is hard to find...yet I am willing to try and date men of other races since my expectations are so high. But finding "Something New" is often times socially unacceptable.

Good luck. But you ain't gonna find a dude like that.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Ronnie B

Good luck. But you ain't gonna find a dude like that.

Loooowered Expectaaaaationsssss.....

[1908Revelations]

I understood KSigRC.

I would say that mine are high for a number of reasons. Which means that I am quite bored sometimes. lol....kinda

[Scandia]

Some people do have very high standards to protect themselves against further damage. Once upon a time their standards were much lower in order to have someone- and boy did it backfire because what they got certainly were total scum. So by raising your standards, you make sure to filter out scummy people.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Some people do have very high standards to protect themselves against further damage. Once upon a time their standards were much lower in order to have someone- and boy did it backfire because what they got certainly were total scum. So by raising your standards, you make sure to filter out scummy people.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Some people do have very high standards to protect themselves against further damage. Once upon a time their standards were much lower in order to have someone- and boy did it backfire because what they got certainly were total scum. So by raising your standards, you make sure to filter out scummy people.

Well, the thing is, those people lack balance in their lives. That's not a problem with the people they date but a problem with the person, him/herself.

Their standards were low before (big mistake #1) and now their standards are intentionally unrealistically high (big mistake #2). That's the formula for loneliness.

I always say people with a bad relationship or dating track record are people who: 1) intentionally find a certain type over-and-over again so they can predictably fail because they aren't ready for a relationship or are afraid of a relationship OR 2) people who have internal issues that lead them to unintentionally find a certain type over-and-over again.

[Scandia]

DSTChaos- well, I can assure you that in my case, it has NOT happened again. Everyone else since then has been good or at least decent. None of them may have been the one for me, but I cannot think of any of them that had anything horrendously and pathologically wrong with them.

Most unrealistically high standard- some of the stuff I have read on magazines that have made people lose interest. Such as "he wore white socks with black pants and black loafers". Or "he has to make a six figure income".

Regarding my standards:

- respectful and kind (ie- NOT being abusive)
- faithful (ie- NOT being adulterous)
- financially responsible
- intelligent and ambitious (and has at least some sort of post-secondary education)
- has interests in common with me, as well as some individual ones
- shares my moral and spiritual values
- healthy and has good hygiene and dresses well
- belongs to an ethnic group that I feel comfortable with and attracted to (PLEASE do not flame me for this one)
- is creative and imaginative

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Scandia

DSTChaos- well, I can assure you that in my case, it has NOT happened again. Everyone else since then has been good or at least decent. None of them may have been the one for me, but I cannot think of any of them that had anything horrendously and pathologically wrong with them.

It's good that you learned from your experience(s).

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Scandia

horrendously and pathologically wrong with them.

I don't know why, but this had me ROTFL.