Egg Donation

[33girl]

I don't think so. Not everyone wants to be open about the fact that their child is not "theirs" biologically. Peoples' looks can change a great deal over the course of their life - even if it looks like the recipients when it's a child, that may not be the case at 20 or 30.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

that sounds awfully picky for infertile couples to request photos of the donor at different stages in life as well as those of family members.

My friend didn't mind. She wanted that $$$, so she was willing to go along with whatever the couple and clinic wanted. This was all preliminary, wayyy before she went through the hormones. If the couple decided they didn't want my friend as their donor, they simply said "thank you" and moved on. You'd be surprised at the number of girls on my campus who actually signed up to do this.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I don't think so. Not everyone wants to be open about the fact that their child is not "theirs" biologically. Peoples' looks can change a great deal over the course of their life - even if it looks like the recipients when it's a child, that may not be the case at 20 or 30.

Exactly. Vicky (my friend) was very blonde as a child. As she grew up, her hair got darker and her Asian features became more dominant than her European features. Lucky for her, the couple she donated to had similar ethnic backgrounds. The child she helped create is now 5, I believe.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

that sounds awfully picky for infertile couples to request photos of the donor at different stages in life as well as those of family members.

Exactly how is that picky?

These couples spend $15,000 and up just for the egg donation--that doesn't count IVF for the woman who gives birth and all the related stuff that's not covered by insurance. These people are spending some serious money, so I'm not too surprised that they are being educated consumers.

[valkyrie]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Exactly how is that picky?

These couples spend $15,000 and up just for the egg donation--that doesn't count IVF for the woman who gives birth and all the related stuff that's not covered by insurance. These people are spending some serious money, so I'm not too surprised that they are being educated consumers.

For reals. You wouldn't want to spend a big wad of cash and go through all the stress and medical crap to end up with a stupid gremlin of a kid.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by valkyrie

For reals. You wouldn't want to spend a big wad of cash and go through all the stress and medical crap to end up with a stupid gremlin of a kid.

Seriously, I think knowing if your donor suffered from severe acne in their teen years, etc is important.

[_Lisa_]

Originally Posted by OtterXO

Seriously, I think knowing if your donor suffered from severe acne in their teen years, etc is important.

The clinic can tell the potential parents information just like that. You fill out questionnaires, provide photographs, etc. Not all of them share the photographs with the potential parents though, most likely for the donor's privacy.

[SapphireSphinx9]

one of my bf's co-workers (and really good friend) decided to donate her eggs, i think a total of 3 different times - 2 times to the same family.

she told me that even though she met with the parents, she declined the option to meet with the children once they were older.

i don't think i could personally go through with it... but it was perfect for her because she doesn't want to have kids, and the money helped her get through school.

[FSUZeta]

well, i just feel that these women who donate their eggs are giving infertile couples such a tremendous gift(even if there is monetary compensation) with the egg donation. i would be a lot more concerned with the health history of the donor and her family members, than her physical appearance.

with fertile couples, there is no guarantee that their child will look like either parent-the child might end up looking like great-uncle fred or cousin gertrude.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

with fertile couples, there is no guarantee that their child will look like either parent-the child might end up looking like great-uncle fred or cousin gertrude.

well, yeah. but if Fred and Gertrude and mom and dad are all blond with blue eyes and baby pops out looking like J-Lo, there's gonna be some happening.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by 33girl

well, yeah. but if Fred and Gertrude and mom and dad are all blond with blue eyes and baby pops out looking like J-Lo, there's gonna be some happening.

HAHA...so true. I completely agree that most people would be more concerned with the medical history of the donor, but I don't see anything wrong with wanting to know what the donor looks like....i certainly would want to know.

[FSUZeta]

lol-that would raise a few eyebrows!! i was commenting on the "let me see a series of photos of you and i would also like to see some photos of your family members"-for me, i think it would be enough to have a great health history and have it noted somewhere in the files what color hair and eyes the donor had-i don't think that i would need to see photos.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

Mine too!

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I believe most of the egg donation centers (or, maybe just the parents themselves) usually prefer women with spotless medical histories, who aren't obese, and who have good test scores. I guess it would be different if you knew the couple.

In my college newspaper, there would always be requests for potential egg donors.

same here. in a somewhat related note, a classmate of mine did egg donation as a year-long independent study. she was pretty perfect in respect to what infertile couples would want (from what i know, blonde, blue-eyed, smart, athletic, etc) and did it as video documentary/blog. win situation for her - she made her $$, and got 8 school credits for it.

of course she got an A - i mean, that would be some professor to give anything less. i know i wouldnt want anything less for a project i put that much of myself into.

[OtterXO]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

lol-that would raise a few eyebrows!! i was commenting on the "let me see a series of photos of you and i would also like to see some photos of your family members"-for me, i think it would be enough to have a great health history and have it noted somewhere in the files what color hair and eyes the donor had-i don't think that i would need to see photos.

I guess I'm just thinking of the extreme situation where you don't see photos, the donor has an excellent medical history and your baby girl comes out looking like Milton Berle or something. I would just want to know if there were any overwhelming features that may be passed to my child. Call it judgmental if you must. lol

[AlphaFrog]

I think it also might be important to see pics of the donar, so in the rare case your dontation-creation brings home his potential mother in law, you can say ummm...no.

(Hey, it's happened that biological brothers/sisters have hooked up not knowing.)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I think it also might be important to see pics of the donar, so in the rare case your dontation-creation brings home his potential mother in law, you can say ummm...no.

(Hey, it's happened that biological brothers/sisters have hooked up not knowing.)

One of the girls in my neighborhood was raised by her grandparents and told they were her parents - her "sister" was her mother. They ended up having to tell her because her bio father had a boy that was around her age and they were terrified of them hooking up (it's a SMALL town).