Please Help! I just have questions...

[mittens]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!

Once you accepted a bid, you must wait one full calendar year before going through recruitment again. Even though you didn't get a bid from ZBZ, the same rule applies to all sororities. You are ineligible for snap bids, COR, and informal recruitment (if they do it.)

If you weren't going to be happy in Tri Pi or even IKI, I don't understand why you didn't just suicide ZBZ? You got a bid to Tri Pi because they saw something in you and you went to bid day and "didn't like it at all"? Are you serious? How would ZBZ's bid day party be any different? And how do you know that ZBZ "is the place for you"? They obviously didn't think that you would fit in with them.

Honestly, I doubt you took the time to get to know your sisters of Tri Pi. It's only been a week you said and what have you done to get to know your sisters? Have you invited any out to a movie or out for lunch? I can't believe you are complaining after only being in a sorority for a week and you are already making judgments about your pledge sisters and claiming how much you dislike Tri Pi because you are just bitter that you didn't get a bid from ZBZ.

"I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so. "

Such a contradiction. ZBZ didn't want you this time and chances are they probably wouldn't the second time. There is no guarantee that you even get a bid the second time going through formal recruitment.

Just do Tri Pi a favor and depledge. You will never be happy with Tri Pi because you will always think about what might of happened if you did this or that.

[Smile_Awhile]

Originally Posted by mittens

Just do Tri Pi a favor and depledge. You will never be happy with Tri Pi because you will always think about what might of happened if you did this or that.

Glad you had such a blessed recruitment experience, Mittens. Not everyone is as lucky as you.

Look, I've been very open here in stating AXO was not my first choice during my recruitment. I cried on bid day, and I seriously considered dropping. I learned that I did fit in with the group, and accepted them as they accepted me.

And I still had what ifs about my second choice until about a year ago- a few months after my initiation. I don't think it's unhealthy to have them. But you also know that you are in the best place for you.

OP, if you are truly so stuck up to believe that you're above these women (which your post about your fit with the chapter implies), then drop. Chapters don't need women who are Negative Nancys, who look down upon the other sisters because they "don't wear enough jewelry" or wear Uggs. But if you can bring yourself down to earth once again, and see that you can truly fit with these women, then stay.

[thetygerlily]

Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile

Look, I've been very open here in stating AXO was not my first choice during my recruitment. I cried on bid day, and I seriously considered dropping. I learned that I did fit in with the group, and accepted them as they accepted me.

And I still had what ifs about my second choice until about a year ago- a few months after my initiation. I don't think it's unhealthy to have them. But you also know that you are in the best place for you.

Not everyone gets their first choice. You will find many recruitment stories on here, both live and retro, that address it. Many of those wind up loving the choice they DO get, and many of those later realize that their original first choice wasn't as good a fit as they once thought. Sometimes the chapters see something that you don't- they often can tell better who will fit in with them than the PNMs can tell where they fit in. Sometimes you like one over another because they are what you want to be or what you like, rather than what you are or can be.

Like Smile_Awhile, I also did not get my first choice through recruitment. I even considered dropping out of recruitment- but I didn't. I stuck it out through the new member period, and beyond. It took about a year before I really found my place in the group and I wouldn't change a thing. I love my chapter alumnae and the national org. Maybe we had a rocky start, but it's where I belong.

I hope you can make a clear choice to either give it an honest chance, or cut your losses now. But I would vote for the former, especially with ThetaPrincess's comment.

[ASTalumna06]

vanityfair - Also, keep in mind that the people who are in the chapter now won't be there forever. Seniors will be graduating at the end of this semester, and many new PNMs will show up for recruitment next year, and some of them will join your chapter. Maybe your best friends haven't even joined the chapter yet!

And whether you stay with this chapter or not, please get past the superficial reasons for joining a GLO... because, by mentioning jewelry and Ugg boots, that's exactly what you're implying you care about (whether you mean to or not).

[ree-Xi]

May I ask how you do not fit in TriPi? We don't know your school or chapter, so why not share examples?

What makes you KNOW that you would fit in with ZBZ? Why do you think you have another chance (next year) of them wanting you, if you didn't even make it to Pref? (Not being mean, it's an honest question.)

There are no loopholes. You cannot "work your way in" anywhere else.

Name 5 reasons why you think you don't fit into TriPi. I want to see where your mind is.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Also you put Tri Pi second on your list, so you must have liked something about them.

[als463]

Originally Posted by vanityfair5

A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!

Boo-Hoo, I didn't get my TOP choice! Geez, what is with all these girls coming on here and crying about not getting their top choice. You say that you have wanted to be Greek for so long, but you just don't feel like you "love" these girls. In reality, you are just saying that you feel you are too good for them. Let us call a spade a spade. I'm not convinced that you just "don't click" with these girls. You accepted a bid. The girls are doing what they can to get to know you. Instead, you go crying in a chat room about not being in your 1st choice.

Many women (and men) on here didn't get their first choice and some people didn't get a bid AT ALL. There are girls out there who would kill for your spot. Stop wasting your sorority's time and either quit (opening up a spot for another DESERVING girl) or suck it up and make it the best you know how.

There are girls, every year, who go bidless. Consider yourself blessed that you were chosen. You sound like a spoiled brat from that Sweet 16 show: Boo-hoo, I wanted a BMW, but I got a VW instead.

These "sisters" of yours don't deserve to be thrown aside because they may not be the "popular" or the "top tier" chapter on your campus. This chapter that you are in may be the bottom on your campus, but I guarantee they are someone else's top choice at another campus. You get no sympathy from me.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Seriously? There isn't a single woman amongst the actives and your new member class that you think you could be friends with? Have you really tried to get to know them or are you too wrapped up in your disappointment?

[gee_ess]

Read FSUZeta's post carefully.

You are hung up on ZBZ and they did not extend you a bid. You need to accept that.

The Tri Pi's are good girls who liked you and wanted you. I would guess that the reason you feel awkward is that deep down you still want to be a ZBZ. It's not that the Tri Pis are bad; it's that they are not ZBZ.

My advice: Make it work.

[i <3 myself]

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by i <3 myself

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

This just gets better and better. No one will take you seriously because you are a troll.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by i <3 myself

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

No one has answered your question because you are asking about membership selection info, which is private.

[OHNOITSJESS]

Originally Posted by i <3 myself

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

ZOMG! mayb bcuz yu type adn wriite liek dis.

ETA: in addition to the Membership Selection thing.

[33girl]

1. Formal pledging ceremonies have NOTHING to do with bid cards (or bid computer sheets or whatever you submit after pref) being binding or with you being truly bound to a sorority. Some sororities have a formal ceremony on bid night, some halfway through pledging, some may not have one at all. It's private and confidential and part of a sorority's ritual. Therefore, there's no way Panhel could include it in the rush rules.

2. ZBZ didn't give you a bid. Worse yet, you had girls there leading you on. They probably said "I can really see you here" to 90% of the girls they met during rush. Sororities just aren't supposed to say things like that to the rushees!! These chicks sound shady, and you should count your blessings that you WEREN'T bid there. Quit thinking they wanted you, because if they did, they would have bid you. They wanted you to want them, which is an entirely different situation.

3. You have been around Tri Pi for a WEEK. You have more sisters than just your pledge class. Give it time. You aren't going to be any further ahead if you quit - you're going to be "that girl who was dumb enough to quit Tri Pi because she thought ZBZ wanted her. What a deludanoid!!"

[mittens]

Originally Posted by i <3 myself

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

Of course you don't get it, you're just that dumb.