Feeling Misled by Sorority - Page 2

SusySorostitute · #1 08-23-2009, 07:07 PM

I know that the "fake-ness" of recruitment can hit hard in so many different ways, and it sucks, but we don't have a better system yet. Stick with it. There are girls in EVERY sorority that drink. Remember all the other great reasons why you picked your sorority and determined it was the match for you! The high academic achievement, philanthropic involvement, friends you made, whatever! Just do what you do and let other do what they do. If you be yourself, and don't make a big deal out of not drinking, no one else will! If you walk around like you are better than everyone for not drinking, the other girls might get sick of it. You mentioned something about not wanting to make the girls who drink feel uncomfortable because they'll think you're judging them for drinking in front of them. My advice for that is simple- DON'T! don't judge people for drinking and they won't judge you! Also, don't discount people as your friends because they drink. A lot of people are saying find the girls in the house that don't drink, of course this is very true and just by the sheer date of your post, I assume you are in a very large pledge class so you will definitely find others who don't drink, but make friends with the girls who drink too! You made a connection with them during recruitment, I'm sure you have a lot to connect with these girls about. All that aside, the beginning of the year everyone wants to show off because they are big bad freshmen or sophomores. It'll all cool down.

texas*princess · #2 08-23-2009, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Also, if you are a new member of an NPC sorority, other new members shouldn't be drinking during your new member period anyway.

Is this new? I've never heard of this?!

littleowl33 · #3 08-23-2009, 02:31 PM

You DO NOT need to drink if you don't want to. A few years ago, when I was a new member, there was a group of sisters who took me out within a few days of pledging. I had never had a drink in my life, and there girls were getting pretty tipsy and encouraging me to drink. I told them I couldn't because of a big exam the next day, then left. I went to an older sister I trusted and was very honest with her. I told her I didn't drink, I had no intention of starting, and that if this was going to be a problem, I was not going to stay in the sorority. She kind of put the word out, and while I still went out and had fun with my sisters, I didn't drink, didn't judge and never felt any pressure to "party hard". I became good friends with a group of girls with similar attitudes to mine, and while I still enjoy hanging out with the "party girls", I wouldn't say they're my closest friends. I'm sure there are sisters in your sorority who feel the same way you do - they're just probably not as vocal as the girls you've been talking to. You'll find each other in the crowd! The women who are bragging about how much they party are most likely trying to impress you and the other new members, and things will probably die down a bit in a few weeks.

TriDeltaSallie · #4 08-23-2009, 02:32 PM

Rosiegirl,

You've received some good advice, but I also wanted to chime in since I am a non-drinker as well and was all through college. I would agree that some of the women are probably looking for something else to talk about after non-stop recruitment topics, it will settle down after the first few weeks, and it is very possible to make friends and do well in a sorority and Greek life even if you are a non-drinker.

I agree that simply being upfront and casual about it is the best way. Once people knew it just wasn't for me, they rarely brought it up again. They just knew I didn't drink. When I went out or went to parties, I always held a Coke or Pepsi and no one ever bothered me to get me something to drink.

The only time I ever had a problem was when I was chapter president and a few women were "embarrassed" that their president didn't drink. It had more to do with them than me. The vast majority of my sisters knew I was highly committed to Tri Delta and the chapter so they could have cared less if I drank or not.

I would definitely stick it out and give it time. Get to know other women, spend lots of time hanging out at the house, and keep a positive attitude. Being a non-drinker does not have to be a hindrance at all.

If at the end of your new member period you find you have made a real effort and find that things are just completely contrary to what you expected, then you will have to make a difficult decision regarding whether or not to go through initiation. But I would be willing to guess that won't be the case.

Best wishes,
Sallie

Loyally Kappa · #5 08-23-2009, 02:37 PM

Have fun and just don't drink. Offer to be the designated driver once in a while. Folks will appreciate it. And on the bright side, at least you will never be the butt of those Ashley-Smashley-Trashley jokes!!!

minDyG · #6 08-23-2009, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Also, if you are a new member of an NPC sorority, other new members shouldn't be drinking during your new member period anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

haha ok!

I guess every sorority at the University of Arkansas forgot that rule. The new members were the biggest drinkers post-bid card because they'd been pent up.

Is that a rule? I've never heard of it before. While we were in no way encouraged or "allowed" to drink if we were underage, it was definitely an unspoken thing that those who wanted to and were able to were doing so at their own risk. I've heard of fraternity men being barred from drinking during their new member periods, but never NPC sorority women!

rosiegirl · #7 08-23-2009, 04:17 PM

Thanks so much for all the advice and encouragement. I think mainly what I needed was some perspective, but it's kind of hard to step back when you're in the middle of it. I am going to take my time to make a decision because I agree you can't judge 120 girls by the comments of a few. I guess the thing that threw me the most was to find out that it's accepted or even expected that these issues aren't discussed during rush. I honestly didn't know that and I wish it wasn't one of the four things you don't talk about because it's kind of an important issue, at least for me.

I also REALLY appreciate the comments that this may be a reflection of the alcohol culture on campus as a whole, the comments that this will probably settle down as the reality of classes hits, and the comments that perhaps the partiers are just a bit louder in the beginning. Big sigh of relief from those, so thanks very much!