What to tell overconfident PNMs

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Stupid idiot. I have access to rec writers in 22/26 NPC sororities right here where I live. And yes, she is going to a competitive recruitment school. Somehow I don't think this is going to end up quite the way she envisions it ending.

OH, AZTheta.... please try to remember to come back & tell us the outcome on this one! Am I a hateful bitch for hoping she gets invites only to those "not quite good enough" chapters?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by thetalady

OH, AZTheta.... please try to remember to come back & tell us the outcome on this one! Am I a hateful bitch for hoping she gets invites only to those "not quite good enough" chapters?

Sorry, but there won't be any update or followup. I won't be around when she goes through rush (which, by the way, is NOT at Arizona). I wished her good luck, and honestly meant it. As I've said before, I don't ever want to sabotage anyone's recruitment. She may be fine, she may drop out, she may "settle"; who knows?

She's in my rear view mirror now.

*shrug*.

[SWTXBelle]

Just this week I gave a presentation to the mothers of pnms. "Your daughters are undoubtedly beautiful, poised, intelligent, and have a slew of extracurricular activities. Guess what? So are the other hundreds of girls going through recruitment." (I then went on to explain RFM and how they needed to encourage their daughter to have an open mind, support them emotionally as they ride that roller coaster, and ESPECIALLY if they are sorority members to remember that what was right for them might not be right for their daughters. Whew.)

[Titchou]

Which came first - sliced bread or bags of chips?????

[aephi alum]

^ IDK, but both chips and sliced bread are no-nos if you're on the Atkins diet.

[Remiechi]

My husband ran into a mom at the gym whose daughter is attending his SEC alma mater in fall and plans to go through recruitment. The mom tells him "she can't wait to meet the xyzs-she hears they're the best on campus!" I asked him "you mean the house that most every ppm ranks first? The house with the highest return rate, that takes their pick of the pnms? What did you say????" He told her "keep an open mind and give every house you are fortunate enough to be invited back to serious consideration" I trained him well!!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by Remiechi

My husband ran into a mom at the gym whose daughter is attending his SEC alma mater in fall and plans to go through recruitment. The mom tells him "she can't wait to meet the xyzs-she hears they're the best on campus!" I asked him "you mean the house that most every ppm ranks first? The house with the highest return rate, that takes their pick of the pnms? What did you say????" He told her "keep an open mind and give every house you are fortunate enough to be invited back to serious consideration" I trained him well!!

Remiechi, any idea what happened?

[honeychile]

Wow, clemsongirl, I have to say, that's probably the best response I've ever seen from a recommendation!

[Remiechi]

Originally Posted by carnation

Remiechi, any idea what happened?

That girl kept an open mind during rush and happily accepted her bid from Delta Zeta. But remember the Auburn girl whose mom told me she didn't need my rec because she already had ones for three or four chapters? Knowing the mom, I'm positive that those recs were for the very top, strongest recruiting chapters and they expected that the "lower" sororities were just places she'd visit first and second rounds. She ended up preffing houses that she never expected to return to, and was very disappointed in her bid. However, she stuck with it, was initiated and is an active, involved member.

[carnation]

Bumping for recruitment 2018-

[AnchorAlum]

Originally Posted by Remiechi

That girl kept an open mind during rush and happily accepted her bid from Delta Zeta. But remember the Auburn girl whose mom told me she didn't need my rec because she already had ones for three or four chapters? Knowing the mom, I'm positive that those recs were for the very top, strongest recruiting chapters and they expected that the "lower" sororities were just places she'd visit first and second rounds. She ended up preffing houses that she never expected to return to, and was very disappointed in her bid. However, she stuck with it, was initiated and is an active, involved member.

I've had a similar experience this year. Was told that my friend's daughter was most likely going into a certain house where she has friends, and they'd let me know if she needed a rec for DG.
We're in the top 4 at this school (not my Alma Mater) so at this point my thoughts are she's on her own as far as I'm concerned. The one she thinks she'll just get a bid to happens to be the supposed top house. She may get through, and I hope she is happy regardless. Sometimes you just have to graciously back away.

[FSUZeta]

Yes you did!

[carnation]

I hope to hear what happened with this PNM.

[FSUZeta]

Indeed!

[ivyrose2]

Just saying, and just adding to this discussion of "many houses" and "they'll find their own" (which kinda sorta could be translated into "pmns need to be happy if they get a bid at all and who are they to have the right to choose anyway")-please remember many things pale in the shadow of the disappointment of an alum whose daughter is cut right before preference, especially when that is done without the courtesy of a phone call.