Can we get honest about hazing?

[QLB817]

While I'm certain that pockets of hazing persist in NPC groups, it seems like that have taken the stance of a cohesive program to prevent it. And I think for the most part it is working. The graphics you all are seeing are not anomalies. I think all NPC groups are doing something like that this week and many of the college Panhellenic councils and individual chapters are as well. I know I've seen it all over the groups I follow on Social Media, including posts and contests. "These Hands Don't Haze" with the ladies throwing the "gang sign" for their group and contests to answer quizzes about hazing. I too know it isn't going to stop it all, but creating that culture of education and lack of tolerance for it will go a long way to make it a very small problem.

Anecdotally with my nephew in a frat and my daughter talking about some of the frat guys she knows, the IFC groups have a long way to go as a whole about hazing. It is very much ingrained in how they do things. It's going to have to come down much more forcefully from their nationals I think to make a difference.

Interestingly, I saw this rant on reddit recently. The language is NSFW/vulgar, but the guy makes some interesting points. I don't advocate hazing, but if someone insists on hazing, at least do it with purpose. I personally love #5. Let the young man get drunk, but then make him understand real world consequences to partying (in a safe way). LOL That honestly sounds like something I would do if one of my underage kids came home drunk or high.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Frat/commen...come_and_make/

And as for myself, I suppose I was "hazed", but it was honestly just some way innocent fun. A group of older actives asked us if we wanted to do something fun and safe, but was a little unconventional. We didn't have to do it and could have stopped at any point if we didn't want to do it. They warned us that at some point that week, we would be "kidnapped" and taken for a fun sister activity. Basically, we were blindfolded and taken to a nearby town where we had to run around doing a scavenger hunt in PJs. Finding things like a cute guy's phone number, buying condoms at the tiny pharmacy, taking a picture on some random city monument, you know, dumb stuff. No drinking, no illegal stuff. It was all in good fun and we never felt belittled or demeaned. It was actually a terribly fun night of bonding and laughing with our sisters. But it's one of those things that would be considered hazing now, specifically the kidnapping part. Because a handful of other kids couldn't do it in a fun and safe way, we have to not do it at all. Kinda makes me sad, but I do understand why it has to be like that.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by QLB817

Anecdotally with my nephew in a frat and my daughter talking about some of the frat guys she knows, the IFC groups have a long way to go as a whole about hazing. It is very much ingrained in how they do things. It's going to have to come down much more forcefully from their nationals I think to make a difference.

I think a lot of this is cultural, and will probably take at least another generation to eradicate. We tend to be more forgiving, more understanding, perhaps, of "boys will be boys". We also tend to see a handful of outside-the-norm men as "the outliers" who are tolerated, if not accepted, while a handful of outside-the-norm women are seen as "mean girls" who require an in-or-out decision.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I think a lot of this is cultural, and will probably take at least another generation to eradicate. We tend to be more forgiving, more understanding, perhaps, of "boys will be boys". We also tend to see a handful of outside-the-norm men as "the outliers" who are tolerated, if not accepted, while a handful of outside-the-norm women are seen as "mean girls" who require an in-or-out decision.

This has gone on for to many Generations and there is now never any time for excuses.

1. Alumni who are involved must be keeping and eye out and make sure it doesn't happen. Especially Alum Advisers.

2. If hazing is going on, is it by a few or total chapter. If a few, get rid of them, not the whole chapter.

I saw this happen when one of my Chapters had a female student accuse them of being raped in the house! The girl recanted but the chapter was put on probation. They were doing very well but, another charge was trumped up and the were banned. I was and still am irate over this! Many good young men were harmed over this!

Try restarting a new chapter over and see how easy it is!

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

1. Alumni who are involved must be keeping and eye out and make sure it doesn't happen. Especially Alum Advisers.

Would add: Generally, an alumnus should stay away if he cannot resist telling the current actives war stories about his hazing experiences with how great the fraternity brotherhood was when he was involved in hazing.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by PhilTau

Would add: Generally, an alumnus should stay away if he cannot resist telling the current actives war stories about his hazing experiences with how great the fraternity brotherhood was when he was involved in hazing.

Agreed. I know of a chapter that had a long history as a local before affiliation...and some alumnae who were part of the local shared some stories about what they used to do before affiliation. Some actives thought these "traditions" would be "fun" to resurrect -- fortunately, that was quickly extinguished.