still single....

[ASUADPi]

DubaiSis, DrPhil, AOII Angel, DeltaBetaBaby, 33girl and amIblue?, thank you for your comments. Thank you for the support.

DrPhil, thank you for your words. You are very, very right. I was seeing a therapist but when I received my last paycheck from DOD, I also lost my insurance. I just got a job in December. I just can't afford to see her anymore, as much as I would LOVE to! I am on an antidepressant though. It does help.

I am doing what I want to do. I'm going back to school to complete my prerequisite courses to get into nursing school. My family has been super supportive of this goal.

I guess another part of me, when it comes to having a child on my own, is that (kind of embarrassing to admit this online but here goes....) I'm still a virgin. I can't say I want to end up in the Guinness Book of World Records for the "first virgin birth".

No, I'm not waiting for marriage, I grew up in the era of AIDS and mass teen pregnancy and STD's thrown in your face. I am just not one of those people who can have sex on the first date. Plus, I really don't want to get a disease of some kind. With all that being said, I'd really like to have sex before I decide to have myself impregnated.

I guess my fear is that the older I get the harder it will get for me to get pregnant and have kids and even find someone. Yes, I don't need a man to make my dreams come true, but I'm a total romantic at heart. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

DrPhil, thank you for your words. You are very, very right. I was seeing a therapist but when I received my last paycheck from DOD, I also lost my insurance. I just got a job in December. I just can't afford to see her anymore, as much as I would LOVE to! I am on an antidepressant though. It does help.

Have you talked to her about your situation since you got a new job? Many mental health professionals see patients on a sliding scale if they don't have insurance. Often, it's worth it to them to not have to deal with the third-party, and/or they take on a few lower-paying patients for charitable (or whatever you want to call it) reasons. When I went back to school (i.e. stopped working full-time), my therapist and I worked something out where I pay a fraction of what she'd normally charge.

[DrPhil]

ASUADPi, thank you for your honesty. If you feel that you know what you want out of life, I just recommend you maintain someone to speak with and you keep checking with yourself every so often to ensure you know what YOU (only you) want and are patient. Today the pastor said something that is a general life lesson regardless of the faith base: we need to work toward what we want to attain and we also need to be patient and stand still when appropriate.

You will accomplish your personal goals and personal happiness. After you are firm in yourself you can consider whether you want to have a child and how to go about it in a manner you consider realistic and non-shaming. I also recommend weighing pros and cons for all of this to make sure you believe the benefit is worth the costs/investment.

Thanks for this thread, good luck to you, and as Public Enemy said "don't believe the hype".