still single....

[DrPhil]

Hugs and positive energy to you. If those things are what you want** then I hope you attain them. If you feel as though you need to seek inner happiness before seeking happiness through a life partner or a child then I recommend talking to someone about your feelings. I hope you do not feel lonely or ashamed.

And please remember you DO have a family. You said so yourself. Having your own life partner and/or child will be an addition to your already existent family (including your friends and sorority sisters) who love you very much. Please remember this to buffer some of your anxiety, jealousy, and loneliness.

** It probably goes without saying these are things that you want rather than things that you believe are expected of you. Neither marriage nor children are requirements. They also aren't promises for a happy and fulfilled life.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

** It probably goes without saying these are things that you want rather than things that you believe are expected of you. Neither marriage nor children are requirements. They also aren't promises for a happy and fulfilled life.

I just wanted to highlight this. Getting married is societally expected of women…not so much of men. Marriage can lead to more misery than you can imagine. If you don't meet the "man of your dreams", work on making yourself happy. Do the things in life that you've always wanted to do. Honestly, when you get married, there are so many things that you have to give up, compromise or change for that other person that now is the time to really splurge and do everything that you possibly want to do before you might be saddled with children. Even if and when you get married, only you can truly make yourself happy. That other person will inevitably let you down even in the most wonderful of relationships. Enjoy your life. If someone comes along that can make it better…grab on to him and don't let go, but please don't marry just for the sake of being married. I fear you'd regret it. My $0.02 after 11 years of marriage and many sacrifices.

[DrPhil]

Thank you, AOII Angel. I don't want to take attention from the original purpose of this thread but the sadness in ASUADPi's post makes me feel this needs to be said a trillion times. This is also the foundation for my response to the article Munchkin03 posted in the D&R Random thread. We need to know what makes us happy, know what we want and why we want it. Try to stay away from "everyone else is doing it" and "I'm a certain age" types of justifications. I'm not saying ASUADPi is only going with the flow but I feel like such sadness is often a result of a combination of personal goals and aspirations and social pressures to subscribe to the life script.