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Buddha taught that we are, none of us, the person we were yesterday.
Please stop beating up on yourself. Please step away from the entire situation. Please give time time. Focus on your academics. Take the focus off the past and others' behavior or what you wish could have happened differently. There are no do-overs in life. Let it go. It's in the rear view mirror.
There are other women who have had a very similar experience to yours. I know of several in my own chapter as well as in other chapters. You're still growing into the person you're going to become, and that is going to change throughout your life. It's going to work itself out, it always does. Good luck to you.
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"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
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