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If you don't like the members and you've attempted to make a go of it-- which it sounds like you have done by getting involved by running for office, taking a little, and trying to be social and upbeat-- then drop out.
Talk to your mom and quit. Mom may be sad, but it's your life and any daughters you may hypothetically have someday will be legacies through grandma.
Your little may be sad, but trust me, she will get over it. If you both make an effort, you will continue to be friends. If you don't, you won't.
Agree with other posters that a sorority can't make you popular or extroverted. It simply gives you an opportunity to develop leadership and people skills, as would any other campus organization you might join.
You get out what you put in, but if you're really that miserable, get out.
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