Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
If your only intention is to "snap up" a man as if he were a cute dress at a sample sale, I suppose you could do it if you tried. If you really want an equal relationship, though, you should probably rethink looking at men in this manner.
P.S. Those "best men" who are "snapped up" early? Get back to them when they're 40+ and see how many of them are still with their snapper, or if they are, if they're happy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I've now hit the age where my friends are divorcing in droves, and almost every one of them says they knew better than to marry their college boyfriend/girlfriend.
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A big YES to all of this.
I also have friends who are getting divorced at an alarming rate. Many of them were in a mad dash to “snag” a man as soon as possible, which I believe causes people to put more weight on being married than on actually being happy. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that it’s impossible to get married at that age and be happy. Even my aunt and uncle were highschool sweethearts and are still married to this day. I’m simply saying that (as I said before) truly loving someone isn’t something that you can plan.
My mom always joked that if I ever got engaged while in college she’d strangle me, as she believed it was way too young. But her serious advice to me was that regardless of whether or not I was with someone that I wanted to spend my life with, I should live alone, all by myself, with no boyfriend or roommates, for at least one year. That’s it. I remember her telling me about when she first got divorced, and the fact that she didn’t know how to balance her checkbook or mow the lawn. At 38 years old, she had to learn on her own. You can do all the book learning possible, but sometimes you need to actually LIVE and have your own experiences before you can live and spend your life with someone else. And that goes beyond being able to cut the grass.
It reminds me of the Friends episode where Rachel’s mom wants to divorce her dad, and she mentions the fact that she went straight from her father’s house, to the sorority house, to her husband’s house. It’s my opinion that you should do a little bit of living (and growing up) on your own in between.
I think the big problem with a lot of people (specifically women) getting married young is that all they see is the big white dress, and their husband in a suit and tie, and all of their best friends in matching dresses. All the stuff that comes with that wedding.. ya know.. like MARRIAGE.. is an afterthought. You get married on Saturday, and then on Sunday, reality kicks in. There’s no more planning and picking out flowers.. you’re no longer the center of attention.. and the guy you married is your husband.. for life. That can be a hard pill to swallow for some. On more than one occasion, I’ve seen panic set in on Day 2, or shortly thereafter. And of course, there’s no going back at that point.
ETA: I think the problem with this article is that she’s providing a one-size-fits-all solution to a problem that she’s dealing with herself. “Well ladies, I didn’t marry a Princeton man, and I should have, so all of you would be wise to do the same!” THAT is what truly makes me want to yell at this woman. Besides, who knows if she would be happier if she had married a Princeton man? She may be even more miserable than she is now. Hindsight is 20/20, but no one can truly predict how their life would have ended up had they chosen a different path.
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