Need advice for fitting into chapter

[FirePaint]

No, it's not really a priority in my life at this point, what with my fiance, family issues, and me trying to focus on my academics.

I'm not really sure how to start socializing. I'd like to, I don't like being so lonely here, but I'm not sure how to go about initiating conversations.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by FirePaint

I'm not really sure how to start socializing. I'd like to, I don't like being so lonely here, but I'm not sure how to go about initiating conversations.

"How was class?"

"I like those shoes, where'd you get them?"

Umm....just anything random. The fact that you have to ask us kind of says it all. Unless you've done something to really tick your sisters off or unless you were accidentally given a bid for the wrong group, I have trouble envisioning an entire houseful of women who won't engage in a conversation with you. Are they aware that you have family issues and have to work, or do you just scurry out of the house the minute the weekend begins? I assure you that some of them have SOME similiar situations.

But at any rate...I don't think that is going to help at this point. I agree with pj that between fiance, job at home and everything else that you could or couldn't control, it seems like you didn't ever put very much into the sorority...and as we all know, what you put in is what you get out. There are plenty of girls who have jobs at home, boyfriends at home and still manage to have a good sorority experience. It just doesn't sound like you are able to put forth the effort to do so at this time.

Even if you do terminate from the sorority, it sounds like you need to work on your socialization skills. Unless you're going to be a stonecutter or something where ability trumps personality every time, you're probably going to be in situations where you're going to have to attend parties that might not be your cup of tea, talk to people you have nothing in common with, and not rely on your fiance/husband.

[FirePaint]

Originally Posted by 33girl

"How was class?"

"I like those shoes, where'd you get them?"

Umm....just anything random. The fact that you have to ask us kind of says it all. Unless you've done something to really tick your sisters off or unless you were accidentally given a bid for the wrong group, I have trouble envisioning an entire houseful of women who won't engage in a conversation with you. Are they aware that you have family issues and have to work, or do you just scurry out of the house the minute the weekend begins? I assure you that some of them have SOME similiar situations.

But at any rate...I don't think that is going to help at this point. I agree with pj that between fiance, job at home and everything else that you could or couldn't control, it seems like you didn't ever put very much into the sorority...and as we all know, what you put in is what you get out. There are plenty of girls who have jobs at home, boyfriends at home and still manage to have a good sorority experience. It just doesn't sound like you are able to put forth the effort to do so at this time.

Even if you do terminate from the sorority, it sounds like you need to work on your socialization skills. Unless you're going to be a stonecutter or something where ability trumps personality every time, you're probably going to be in situations where you're going to have to attend parties that might not be your cup of tea, talk to people you have nothing in common with, and not rely on your fiance/husband.

No, they are aware that I have to work, and they are all aware of my family issues as well. And I have said little things like that here and there, but all I get is, "Class was good," or, "Thanks."

On top of this, they rarely initiate any conversations with me either.

I do have friends, he's not the only person I talk to, and I have socialization skills. My problem is, I don't feel a connection with these girls that I used to.

And one thing I forgot to mention - I've also mentally limited myself from going to certain events. Whenever my sorority has a mixer/social with a fraternity, I make sure to come up with a reason for not going. I know this hinders my ability to bond with my sisters, but I was raped by a guy who is in a fraternity my first semester of college, and I'm terrified of running into him. There are other events that I do go to, but I only go to events where it's either Greek-wide or just my sorority because of this.

[33girl]

That is ONE fraternity. No one would blame you for skipping that mixer. But all of them? (I assume you do know the name of the actual fraternity that he was/is in.) Fraternities don't go to each other's mixers, that's the whole point. If he was in XYZ fraternity, he's not going to show up at the ABC mixer. If just the thought of men in ANY fraternity makes you that scared, you definitely should look into some counseling.

You've closed yourself off in so many ways, it's no wonder that you have a problem connecting with people.