Rudest PNM You Had to Deal With

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

We had a legacy who came through - her grandmother was a sister, and this was the last granddaughter, and the only one who had come to a school with a her sorority.

Grandma had sent us a long letter and a collage of pictures of her granddaughter. So we knew everything about this chick.

When our sister greeted her and mentioned we'd heard a lot about her from her grandmother, her reply was:

"My grandmother is crazy, and I am not joining this sorority." Our sister burst into tears.

Our advisors would NOT let us cut her, but it would have been sweet to let the other sororities know about her.

It would have been sweeter to call Grandma and have little snowflake cut out of the will.

do you know what happened to this little darling?

[AlwaysSAI]

^^^I'd like to know as well.

And, I hope she didn't join SK. Wouldn't have been fair to the chapter.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by Shellfish

The rudeness that still bugs me, though, was from some other advisors. We were still doing bid matching by hand, so one night I went to the Greek office promptly after the pref party, still in my Laura Ashley dress and pearls. We were waiting around for all the advisors and bid lists, so I tried to break the ice with some new advisors from one sorority. They were wearing embellished sweatsuits, which, er, weren't my thing, but I did say, "You look like you'll be comfortable for the long night ahead," to which one of them snapped, "That's because we dressed properly." Then they went back to talking to each other. Pretty nice, especially considering that for years before that, that sorority never had anyone present for bid matching, so an extra alum or national visitor from KD had occasionally handled their list.

[mini hijack]

I guess I don't get that (behavior). From my viewpoint, yes we may be in different houses but 1. we are all greek and 2. we are all NPC sisters together. While we were all founded at different times and schools, I believe that overall the underlying principals of our respective sororities are generally the same.

I had friends in high school and as soon as we started college and went different houses it was like we couldn't be friends anymore, which I thought (and still think) is kind of lame.

[end mini hijack]

back to the regularly scheduled thread

[sdtennisgal]

OK, this girl wasn't the rudest, per se, but a bit too candid. As a junior, I ended up talking to a girl from a smaller town in our state that was known for being a bit...redneck. She was extremely pretty (spitting image of Jessica the Baby Vampire in True Blood), had a great smile, quick witted, and was initially very charming, albeit dressed a little to casually. We started talking about majors, and it came out that she was interested in architecture/design. My fault for asking, but I said, "Well, how do you like the layout of our house?" I immediately heard how awful our green carpet was (...I was not a fan either, to tell the truth) then she started telling me how well two other sorority houses were laid out compared to ours. As I was the last girl she talked to at the party, no one else heard the conversation and I did not raise it. She did not get invited back to our house, but she joined another house (which had recently reorganized, and was considered "up and coming"). I ended up sitting at the same table as her and her date at a fraternity dance the following spring and we ended up talking quite a bit (our dates were both tools and were too busy "bromancing" graduating brothers), and she ended up apologizing in retrospect and explained she was just nervous, which I understood. I ran into her a couple more times on campus (she was an officer in her chapter her sophomore year) and she was always quite friendly.

[txAOII_15]

i had a girl last spring that asked everyone in my bumping group what their parents did for a living and where they vacationed. i heard from the other bumpers in my group that she had refused to talk to them - the only reason she talked to me was because i told her that my dad was a retired lawyer which was fine with her until she pressed for more info and i mentioned that he had done a lot of pro bono work during his career tied to the chicano rights movement. she did wind up getting a bid form another group though

[AGDee]

I guess we were lucky back in my day because women pretty much accepted only invitations that they wanted and there were no consequences to that. Then again, there were only 4 chapters and quota was like 9 or 10. Women were never intentionally rude though and I don't remember any experiences like these.

[Dutchie]

While this girl wasn’t rude to our faces, she still was probably the rudest girl my sorority has had to deal with in a while. (sorry the back story is long, but my undergrad’s recruitment is set-up a little differently than most schools)
At my undergrad, recruitment events are held during the evening of the week as well as weekends. If a girl cannot make an event (because she has class, is sick, can’t get off of work, etc) but is still interested in a particular sorority, they are told to send a note to that group’s house (after the first day, girls are not required to visit all groups).
Our recruitment is semi-structured so that each group has a certain time slot and no groups overlap for the first week of recruitment (recruitment is 2 ½ weeks long). However my junior year a student passed away and the memorial service was scheduled for the same time as one of our events. Since many of my sisters were friends with the girl & wanted to be at the service, the Greek advisor moved our time slot to the same time as one of the other sororities.
That night, when it came time for voting, our recruitment chair read any notes we had received for that event. When we got to one girl’s note it read ‘Hi, I would love to be at your event tonight but it’s the same time as XY and I’d rather be at their event.’
I’m pretty sure she did not get an invite for the upcoming closed event (we alternate between open & closed events) but she showed up to the next open saying how much she has missed us. Fast forward a week and she did get a bid to the sorority she told us she rather be at. However, she did show-up our events almost to the end.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by PizzaLove

The pnm replied that our sorority sucks there just like it does here. Understandably, my sister started crying right after the party and we obviously did not invite the girl back.

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon

When our sister greeted her and mentioned we'd heard a lot about her from her grandmother, her reply was:

"My grandmother is crazy, and I am not joining this sorority." Our sister burst into tears.

I know the regulations are different between my sorority's recruitment and Panhellenic recruitment and I also know that there is A LOT of pressure on the members to be classy at all times...but... somebody would have had to slap a hand over my mouth and ushered me away post-haste in both of these situations.

[BraveMaroon]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

^^^I'd like to know as well.

And, I hope she didn't join SK. Wouldn't have been fair to the chapter.

She definitely did not become our sister, and thankfully, she didn't even come back for second round. Apparently, we didn't make it up high enough on her list. Tooooo baaaaad.

Once we were rid of her, we washed our hands of her, and I hope she ended up somewhere she was happy.

And thankfully, that wasn't with us.

[AGD1978]

Originally Posted by PizzaLove

...Know your resources and make sure you have someone reliable to go to with concerns, whether this is your recruitment chair, president, adviser, or other sister. If you are that person getting your sisters’ concerns, make sure they know you are handling it. Have all of the necessary numbers at hand to call the panhellenic adviser or vp recruitment. Because too often, these rude pnms get away with it, and the chapter members feel powerless. The same is true if the chapter members don’t know what happens and assume the pnm got away with it. Self-confidence and pride in the chapter goes down the tank. Don’t just take it. Be the perfect gracious hostess, but once the party is over, report the rude pnm and get her KICKED OUT of recruitment. Someone willing to put down anyone in any chapter is not an asset to the greek community. Most of all, even if a pnm is rude to you, always show confidence in yourself and your sisters, no matter how little you feel it, because that shows so much to the pnms. If they see you get upset when another pnm is rude, well, then they see you get upset! No one wants that image at recruitment. You want to be seen as having fun and loving your chapter no matter who tries to bring you down, and when pnms see that pride in your chapter, they realize you must have a chapter to be proud about.

Nice post, PizzaLove. Words to live by always, not just during Rush...er, Recruitment.

[aephi alum]

The closest we had to a rude PNM when I was active, was a psycho PNM.

It was my sophomore year, my first time rushing on the other side and the first time our local had been allowed to participate in FR alongside the 4 NPC sororities. It was pretty obvious that we were a Jewish sorority (when the sisters have last names like Rosenberg and Segal, it's a dead giveaway) so a lot of non-Jewish PNMs dropped us. However, "Jenny" figured she was a shoe-in because she was Jewish and we were the smallest chapter on campus - how could we possibly cut HER????

She was invited back to two chapters for the first invite-only round. At the time, chapters made their own name tags for PNMs, and PNMs were allowed to keep the tags. Jenny went to XYZ first, and then came to us wearing her XYZ-issued name tag (a no-no - you can keep the name tags but you're supposed to pocket them). The message was obvious - rush me hard or I'm pledging XYZ. I spoke with her and it took me about five seconds to determine she would not be good for our chapter. Still, I was polite to her ...

She was cut by both chapters before pref.

She came to our informal rush later that semester. We cut her again.

She found her home in a service org - so, good for her. Still, *cough*nutcase*cough*

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

I know the regulations are different between my sorority's recruitment and Panhellenic recruitment and I also know that there is A LOT of pressure on the members to be classy at all times...but... somebody would have had to slap a hand over my mouth and ushered me away post-haste in both of these situations.

I think that's probably one of the biggest things sorority life has given me for regular life -- how to smile and be nice when someone is treating you like absolute crap. You just learn to rise above it.

[KSUViolet06]

In a different thread, an NPHC sorority member asked why people got so worked up over rudeness. I figured I'd repost my response to that here.

I've never cried/gotten upset over a rude person.

My take on rudeness in recruitment:

If you are really rude enough to act that way toward people you just met, you'll probably be a rude brat once you get a bid and make your NM class and the chapter miserable. Your rudeness is actually helping us to weed you out and saving us your drama. So thanks for being rude!

I hold Sigma in such high esteem that I just feel like a complete brat doesn't deserve her. I'm glad that those who aren't worthy of her show themselves every year with their bratty comments.

/soapbox.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by txAOII_15

i had a girl last spring that asked everyone in my bumping group what their parents did for a living and where they vacationed. i heard from the other bumpers in my group that she had refused to talk to them - the only reason she talked to me was because i told her that my dad was a retired lawyer which was fine with her until she pressed for more info and i mentioned that he had done a lot of pro bono work during his career tied to the it

Weirdly, it was VERY common for both the PNMs and the Sisters to ask these type of questions, albeit very candidly, during (rush) when I was an active. One of my best friends from another chapter was cut from her legacy chapter - where her grandmother had been a founder, and both aunts & her mother were sisters - because she hadn't been to Europe yet! Worse, they TOLD her grandmother the reason! But it all worked out well, as she became an ADPi!

Similarly, the worst PNM I can remember dropped the F-bomb during a party. So many sisters were so upset that, even though she got a bid, our chapter was torn in half over her - and she never did get initiated!

So, if you think Recruitment is tough now, it used to be even more restrictive!

[dgdramadawg]

Once, a friend of one of our sisters happened upon an online journal of a PNM on which she posted her rankings of the houses on campus and all her thoughts on the first round. Her thoughts were negative, to say the least, about all but a select few chapters on campus.

Word got around pretty quickly as people from other chapters found out, too. The girl deleted the post, but the damage was done.