Moving in with BF! I need advice.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by agzg

It's not just men that will move in with someone and but don't want to get married, either, and it's not just women who "want the ring" and freak out when they don't get one.

If both members of the couple are in the same place at the same time, it can work out. The issue is that they consistently need to be in the same place. It's tricky.

The only time I'm like "gah I want to get married" is when KSUViolet posts wedding dress porn on GC. I'm also sure marriage will be just as boring as living together is now (not much would change for us, prior to having kids).

The only time I want to be married is when I refer to my boyfriend in a professional kind of situation. Like, talking about post-grad-school employment prospects with my professors, it sounds ridiculous to be like "oh, I have to consider where my boyfriend can do residency" instead of "where my husband can do residency".

But that's not so much about being married as it is having some kind of word that signifies "committed living together boyfriend".

[agzg]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

The only time I want to be married is when I refer to my boyfriend in a professional kind of situation. Like, talking about post-grad-school employment prospects with my professors, it sounds ridiculous to be like "oh, I have to consider where my boyfriend can do residency" instead of "where my husband can do residency".

But that's not so much about being married as it is having some kind of word that signifies "committed living together boyfriend".

I use the word "partner" for things like that.

[DrPhil]

I always used "significant other" or "partner." Here's why:

1) I think post-college people are too old and too accomplished (or on their way) to have boyfriends and girlfriends. Or, at least to use that terminology in professional settings. It's about as silly as saying "my man" around people who aren't family, friends, or personal acquaintances.

2) Using "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is very gendered when it tends to be unnecessary.

3) Using "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is very sexual orientationed when it tends to be unnecessary.

Depending on the context and what you are saying, some people will wonder the gender of the "significant other" (or "life partner") and whether you are married. But, unless they are being nosey as hell, those details tend not to matter for a simple comment like "I have to consider where my significant other can do his residency." Using "his" would calm the gender and sexual orientation curiosities of some people. It still doesn't divulge the actual status of the relationship except that he's significant enough to be your significant other.