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Originally Posted by DrPhil
Good point. I wonder how well politeness and etiquette mesh? Are they synonymous? Perhaps not. LOL.
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I think the intent is that etiquette is a structured politeness, but because of that structure it doesn't necessarily adapt well to multiple situations/environments or evolve with the times. For example, it is considered rude to write "no presents" on an invitation because that presumes presents are offered. However it
is generally culturally accepted that presents are offered at certain events. (YMMV) So people will call all their invitees, or have a friend or family member do so to inform them, yet still try to preserve "the rules."
Mostly if you're polite and can follow along with what everyone else does, you'll be fine in most social situations. But etiquette only seems to work when everyone you're around subscribes to the same rules. It makes me think of my friend's wedding next weekend and how since half of the guests will be from a different culture entirely the "rules" are going to be completely flummoxed depending on who one's with at any given point in time.
In general learning the basic rules is helpful and really is polite for the most part - don't clink things together a lot - or simply common -fancy restaurants all set their tables up this way, so here's how to use it or set it yourself - but beyond that it get far more complex and not entirely necessary in my opinion.