Quote:
Originally Posted by Alumiyum
I hear of it all the time in fraternities, though less so in sororities, which I think is mostly because of the more strict rules. Back on my Bid Day a bunch of us went to various houses and then the bar in town. The difference was that hours before at the sorority's Bid Day party girls who were going out announced that they were and that anyone was welcome...and the girls in the chapter that didn't drink or just didn't feel like it made it known that they were going too (or had other plans), and that it was just fine to drink nothing, or skip parties and the bar all together. Many in my pledge class drank underage as you'd expect, but many didn't and they were always made to feel included in whatever going out adventure was available on any given night. I drank, but I honestly never felt pressured to drink the entire time I was an active. We didn't do everything right, but I was always glad we had a nice even mix of partiers and non-partiers so that no one got left out or felt the need to change their habits in order to fit in when it came to the choice to drink or not.
|
I think that our schools are different, and that's the issue here. I know there are parties where women are taken off campus as a group after sorority bid day but before fraternity bid day, and the point is to have alcohol, and it always happens off campus. Women go, even if they don't drink, because they want to be part of the group and everyone else is going. Trying to get home is difficult because you are new on campus, even if you're a sober driver, and so there's a pressure to be with the group even if one isn't drinking. There are very few 17 & 18 year old women who can say they don't want to drink or go, and I find it ridiculous that we have to do this right off the bat. (As a complete aside I don't think we should be "teach people to drink" because there are a lot of opportunities for experimentation and we should work on helping people adjust and feel comfortable, and I'm a huge fan of delayed recruitment and not living in the chapter facility right off the bat.)
The norm here is for a fraternity to have a camping trip for their bid day and women are going to this, off campus. New members are leaving campus, there's alcohol involved, and I wish we weren't creating/supporting risk management situations for people who haven't attended class yet and we are their whole world. Not to say things can't happen at an on campus party, but at least women could walk home and be able to get away from a situation that they don't want to be in. I know there are some men who are new members who are uncomfortable joining and right away girls and booze but they talk about it less because of their own gender/fraternity culture.
Maybe I'm an old lady and I bought into the "values based" buzz word, but I really wish we'd look at our behavior and actions and have a critical eye and own our contributions to how we're viewed and what our purpose as organizations are, and how it conflicts and mimics college and young culture as a whole.
Threaded Mode
