Boyfriend Question (please help)

[luvdrunk]

I'm share with mixed emotion that I broke it off with my boyfriend. Mixed because yeah I know it works out for the better, but we had so much planned together and I don't know where I go from here (other than forward, the only way to move I guess). The good thing is they were just that... plans.

I left some things in his care before moving out (a few clothes, some cheap jewelry), he threatened to throw them away. Right now I'm trying to deal through a neutral third party who will set up the meeting time with him without my knowledge and same with me. Is there anyway I can get my stuff back (legal-wise)? It's no big deal if I can't, but it's a few more price-y items I don't want to re-purchase.

Thanks again y'all

LD

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by luvdrunk

I'm share with mixed emotion that I broke it off with my boyfriend. Mixed because yeah I know it works out for the better, but we had so much planned together and I don't know where I go from here (other than forward, the only way to move I guess). The good thing is they were just that... plans.

I left some things in his care before moving out (a few clothes, some cheap jewelry), he threatened to throw them away. Right now I'm trying to deal through a neutral third party who will set up the meeting time with him without my knowledge and same with me. Is there anyway I can get my stuff back (legal-wise)? It's no big deal if I can't, but it's a few more price-y items I don't want to re-purchase.

Thanks again y'all

LD

I walked away from a boyfriend who was, IMO, emotionally abusive. Although it was no where near as scary a situation as yours, I also felt torn because he was who I had planned my life around for 7 years. Some days I'm still not sure, but I know that it was the right choice and I'm a much healthier and happier person for it.

Legally it'd take small claims court I think. Hopefully a neutral friend can take care of it.

[honeychile]

Run. Run fast. Run hard. Run for your life!

Every state has different laws concerning a restraining order. The iced tea incident would get you one in PA. Verbal threats, with the following vandalism/theft, would get you one in other states.

Take some time THE MINUTE YOU WAKE UP and call Legal Services for your town, and ask them what it takes. Here, you see Legal Services, then every woman who is able to get an order is told to meet at certain place, and escorted by deputies to a private room to get your order together. It's a great set up, and I hope it is for you, too.

Remember that the Restraining Order (Protect From Abuse, etc) is a piece of paper, so you also need to be more viligant about your surroundings.

You are not a person to this man, you are a possession. That's not going to change until he gets into major, full-time therapy. He probably feels that his need to possess you is love, but it's sick, sick emotion. Hopefully, he will be a chicken, deep down inside, and leave you alone - but don't count on it.

I'm talking from experience, and from learning more about my years in hell. May you find joy, peace, and real love in any future relationship you have.

[honeychile]

Sorry about the double post, but think about it: does he have ANYTHING of yours that is worth your life? It's much more fulfilling to be a financially stretched survivor than him returning your stuff to your parents at a funeral.

I know I sound morbid, but every physical abuser starts as an emotional abuser. You do NOT deserve that!

[BluPhire]

Originally Posted by luvdrunk

I left some things in his care before moving out (a few clothes, some cheap jewelry), he threatened to throw them away. Right now I'm trying to deal through a neutral third party who will set up the meeting time with him without my knowledge and same with me. Is there anyway I can get my stuff back (legal-wise)? It's no big deal if I can't, but it's a few more price-y items I don't want to re-purchase.

Thanks again y'all

LD

Welcome to what I call the common law divorce.

It goes like this, when you break up, whatever you left behind is just lost.

Is it possible to get it back...in a good breakup yes.

But in your situation, I would just charge it to the game and keep it moving. That stuff is not worth it, easily replaceable.