Boyfriend Question (please help)

[luvdrunk]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Nothing says "stay the eff away" like a restraining order served by a sheriff.

Do you recommend I get an order (it called something else in my state IDK what) in my home city/county or the one I go to college in (where he's at), or does it matter?

Originally Posted by Jen

Better you protect yourself and your safety by telling people the situation. Make sure everyone knows your fears and is aware he is no longer in your life.

This really will suck. Esp. since he told some people that he bought an engagement ring for me (i found out by accident and my fingers are tiny, so its a custom size...) Oh well, I told him not to tell anyone because anything can happen between then and when he actually proposes... I guess I was right.
None of my friends are particularly fond of him to begin with. I only have to worry about telling my sisters, since I'm forever away from some of them and there are so many. So much to do.

LD

[33girl]

Originally Posted by luvdrunk

Do you recommend I get an order (it called something else in my state IDK what) in my home city/county or the one I go to college in (where he's at), or does it matter?

LD

Both.

And I agree with everyone who said be done NOW - do not G-talk to him or have any sort of contact with him. If you do, you will defeat the purpose of the restraining order.

[CopterDad]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Both.

And I agree with everyone who said be done NOW - do not G-talk to him or have any sort of contact with him. If you do, you will defeat the purpose of the restraining order.

Except, she doesn't have a restraining order and is unlikely to get one with what has been posted.

I do agree with everything else that has been posted about getting away from the creep. If the OP is really scared, I suggest that she, or ask her dad, to get a legal opinion on this. My good friend had to go through this with his daughter. It's doable.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by luvdrunk

Do you recommend I get an order (it called something else in my state IDK what) in my home city/county or the one I go to college in (where he's at), or does it matter?

Get one where you're at right now -- probably easier to get your parents to foot the bill, then when you go back to school get one there too. It'll probably be easier to get one in the other state when you already have one granted back home.

That's ideal, but you're going to run into some difficulty getting him served if he's not in your state. This is something you probably ought to talk to a lawyer about. In Oklahoma, we call these things Victims' Protection Orders (VPOs). Here, it's as simple as going to the courthouse, filling out a form, having an ex parte hearing in front of the judge (that means your ex doesn't have to be present) and having them served by the sheriff, then having a hearing later to determine whether there's good reason to keep the order around and what kind it should be (in some cases, the VPO means the sheriff confiscates your guns).

I can't advise you as to how this works where you're at. If there's a YWCA in your area, they could probably tell you what you need to do.