Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
Because people want their kids to be at least one or preferably both of these things:
1. White
2. Babies
Not to mention if the kid's mom is from somewhere in Russia there's not a whole heck of a big chance that she'll show up somewhere down the line. I think with the new era of open adoptions this is a bigger worry for adoptive parents than it used to be. I am NOT against open adoption at all, and I think all adoptees should be able to see their records at least for medical purposes, but I can totally see where if you've been through all the IVFs and other disappointments, you don't want to worry about birth mom from 2 states over showing up. Even if you do an old-fashioned closed adoption, I think some of the uneasiness still applies.
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One of my best friends adopted a child from Romania, after being told that in California, the definition of a healthy white baby was one who was "only" addicted to crack.
They signed the papers to adopt two sisters, born 11 months apart. They had all of the US paperwork done when they landed in Romania - where they discovered that four other American couples had also adopted these sisters! But not to worry, none of them could adopt the sisters anyhow, as they had found their mother. Can we say bait and switch? So, each couple adopted another Romanian baby. None of these babies had ever had anything to eat but orange juice or cold milk, and lived in cribs with gated tops - even the one my friends adopted, who was two and a half.
Fast forward eight years, when I was visiting. This absolutely beautiful child was found to be so developmentally challenged that she will never be capable of living alone. Those first few years are so important, and they were basically thrown away. She now bags groceries.
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