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Old 04-09-2010, 03:03 PM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
I don't think that's moral at all, nor justifiable.

There are no guarantees in adoption. Adoptive families need to be open to what they get as that's what they sign up for.
Like Munchkin03 said, many Russian orphanages aren't fully disclosing physical or mental problems. That isn't moral or justifiable either, if they're purposely doing it to unload kids who they don't think will get adopted. Some parents have no problem adopting special needs kids at all - in fact they request them. But you shouldn't be told "this child is 100% healthy" only to get him home and have to pay for $20,000 worth of surgery and ongoing psychiatric care.
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Old 04-09-2010, 03:38 PM
carnation carnation is offline
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Originally Posted by 33girl View Post
Like Munchkin03 said, many Russian orphanages aren't fully disclosing physical or mental problems. That isn't moral or justifiable either, if they're purposely doing it to unload kids who they don't think will get adopted. Some parents have no problem adopting special needs kids at all - in fact they request them. But you shouldn't be told "this child is 100% healthy" only to get him home and have to pay for $20,000 worth of surgery and ongoing psychiatric care.
Many countries do this, even our own. Some wonderful people we know adopted a set of sisters a few years ago. The county that sent them swore that they had no problems, that they just needed love. After a brief honeymoon period, all hell broke loose. It seems that the home county lied; 2 of the girls had been in psychiatric hospitals several times. They put our friends--both warm, incredible teachers--through hell, I don't know how else to put it, for 5 years and our friends finally had to disrupt the adoption. They hung in there a lot longer than most people would have. Our friends will never be the same again.

There is a term for this, when the agency knowingly places a child with severe problems with someone but passes them off as normal: *wrongful adoption*. More and more agencies are being sued for this, as they should be. Lying about a child's problems in order to get him or her placed is horrendous! Adoptive parents have had to suffer through the intrusion of home studies and then they're usually turned down for child after child until finally their family is chosen. Normally, they've spent thousands of dollars by this time.

The adoptive mother should have gone through the regular channels to disrupt her adoption--probably that involved connecting with the American agency she used--but most experienced adoptive parents, and I am one, have no problem with a family who was lied to deciding to disrupt their adoption.
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