My Fall Recruitment Thread

[thetygerlily]

Don't be too put off by a quieter bid day group. Mine was also a bit hard- I joined the smaller group on my campus which wasn't as popular as the others. I really genuinely liked several of the sisters but didn't want to join just to be a number boost. Our bid day was fairly quiet and subdued (honestly I don't think the actives knew what to do with us, we more than doubled the chapter size!) and we could hear screaming down the hall from the other group. Yeah, that made me doubt things a bit and wonder "what if". But I think it is a very common reaction to recruitment, because everything happens so fast- and it can be overwhelming to suddenly "settle down". But most people who had doubts (people that I personally know and have read about here on GC) are thrilled they stuck it out and made the most of it.

You get what you give, and as someone else said if you push the others in your new member class then the excitement factor will boost. If it's conducive on your campus, try to do a few things with just the new members- go out to brunch or lunch or dinner together, meet for coffee, go to a football game, or hang out and watch tv. Bond as a class, and that'll help make the group that much stronger. And if you're concerned that some may drop, all the more reason to engage them now and show them how great you all could make it! I'm glad you're giving the eyeliners a chance and hope it works out for all of you.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

What other people think does matter to me. Maybe this will just take time. The more I grow to love eyeliner, the more everything else will fade away. I don't know. I do love greek life already, and I knew no matter which sorority I ended up in, I promised myself I would give pledging a chance and initiate if I wanted.

I suspect this will happen.

About halfway through pledging, you will hear from some of your friends, or through the grapevine, who are pledging mascara or lipgloss about how pressured they feel to maintain their looks and image at all times and how it isn't all it's cracked up to be. You will be able to go to the eyeliner house, put your feet up on the sofa and not give a crap that your nail polish is chipped or your hair is frizzy. And you will say AAAAHHHHHHHH.

I think that you do have a good attitude under it all, and as time goes on you will wonder why you thought those other sororities were better than yours.

There was something in you that made you put eyeliner down above blush. No you will never know, unless you run into a blabby blush and she tells you, but there is a reason you chose as you chose. Don't drive yourself nuts second guessing. Like FSUZeta said, it's just a little bit of buyers remorse. Any big purchase invites similar feelings even if you're super jazzed about it.

Also, and I'm truly not trying to be snarky or bitchy, there is the possibility you're not as good looking as you thought you were. Things get turned upside down a lot when you go from HS to college.

Good luck.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Also, and I'm truly not trying to be snarky or bitchy, there is the possibility you're not as good looking as you thought you were. Things get turned upside down a lot when you go from HS to college.

Good luck.

Not even trying to be rude, but this could be totally true.

HS and college are 2 totally different worlds, and a girl who was the "ultra pretty girl" in high school likely finds herself in a SEA of "ultra-pretties" in college.

It's part of life.

[Ggirl617]

lol i wasn't pretty in high school. i didn't really find myself till college and that included the way i looked. and it's not snarky. maybe i'm conceited when it comes to the way i look but i am 100% confident

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I'm sorry you feel this way and I suspect you will loathe my latest response. I will reveal my chapter and school in a bit, and I respectfully ask that you guess privately.

no, i dont loathe your comments, but it just seems like youre trying your hardest to get us to "be nice" and understand your POV by repeating how "honest" you're being. that doesn't excuse the comments you make. remember, a thin line between cocky and confident. I cant even chalk your comments up to being a fresh out of HS freshmen who doesnt know any better.

I agree with a lot of KSUViolet's and 33girl's comments (as i tend to). i think you went from ugly duckling to Heather Hottie and felt you earned yourself a place amongst Lipgloss and Mascara because that would be the easy thing to do - youre hot, so you pledge one of the hot houses and live the rest of your college life amongst the hotties.

BUT it seems like, deep down, the real Ggirl617 within, identified with Eyeliner, and maybe taking a bid and initiating there kinda takes your back to when you weren't so hot and confident. you say so yourself that "you care about what people think" and that many of your pledge class chose Eyeliner last. that has to play a big part in where you're at right now and the way youre telling this story - defensive, like you have something to prove, NOT honest and confident.

this assumes that you actually are hot, or were hot at some point. you could be a total ugmug and are seriously jaded.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I thought I made it pretty clear that I do want to stay in eyeliner and make the best of it, and I feel bad about the way I feel, but unlike others can't just erase the thoughts immediately. I understand that you will grow to love some sororities and instantly love others. Nothing I have posted in this thread differs from that. I think you misunderstand my feelings. I don't feel as if I'm being defensive, but you've suggested two options that I never wanted to do, and that's these two:

*Drop out of eyeliner.

*Stay in Eyeliner and be pissed everyday about it.

I am making the effort and I am going to work through this. That doesn't change the emotions I'm experiencing right now. People say there's a cookie cutter sorority, but I think pnms are stereotyped this way too.

Edit: I don't think you were being nice by saying you're not going to touch my comments. You obviously are looking down on the way I feel and that's not nice. I'm sorry I'm being honest.

To your credit, i do actually believe you when you say you never had intentions of dropping out of Eyeliner and are willing to stick it out. I hope you keep that promise, to yourself and to the house.

and sidenote: the responses youre getting are NOTHING compared to what you could be getting. so count your stars.

[Ggirl617]

What's wrong with me being nice and honest? Besides, i said myself that some comments were catty and shallow. I also said (and if I didn't I meant to) that I didn't want to feel this way but couldn't help it. I was telling to not only explain my story but to get out what I was feeling, as I don't feel I will move past otherwise. If my thoughts are wrong and you suggest I keep them to myself, you still think I am a horrible person for what I think. I want to move on. Sometimes your heart won't do what your head says.

How can you agree with their comments when it's not what they said? They assumed I was always "little miss pretty" and not as much in college. You echoed the opposite which is what I had already said was the case so I think we agree. Yes, I said in the first post, I thought I belonged in those because of the way I looked.

I didn't deep down identify with eyeliner. I straight up liked them. They are extremely kind and accepting girls and I loved that in sisters. Again, I already said that I needed to get past what others think. I think we agree because you are reiterating some of my points lol

Count my stars? Please. I've done nothing wrong I feel. If I am a bad person, and don't deserve eyeliner fine. I don't need things to be sugarcoated. I'm simply having thoughts I can't control that I want to vanish so I can embrace eyeliner completely. This is where I'm being completely honest.

[Blue Skies]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I didn't deep down identify with eyeliner. I straight up liked them. They are extremely kind and accepting girls and I loved that in sisters.

The more years I gain in age, the more kindness resonates with me. I really notice when people go out of their way to be kind, and I also notice when people don't (for whatever reason) make the effort. I think you noticed it as well when you were going through recruitment. I also think you made a great choice of chapters, and will be very content with your choice in the long run.

And of course, you can be both kind AND good lookin'.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

What's wrong with me being nice and honest? Besides, i said myself that some comments were catty and shallow. I also said (and if I didn't I meant to) that I didn't want to feel this way but couldn't help it. I was telling to not only explain my story but to get out what I was feeling, as I don't feel I will move past otherwise. If my thoughts are wrong and you suggest I keep them to myself, you still think I am a horrible person for what I think. I want to move on. Sometimes your heart won't do what your head says.

How can you agree with their comments when it's not what they said? They assumed I was always "little miss pretty" and not as much in college. You echoed the opposite which is what I had already said was the case so I think we agree. Yes, I said in the first post, I thought I belonged in those because of the way I looked.

I didn't deep down identify with eyeliner. I straight up liked them. They are extremely kind and accepting girls and I loved that in sisters. Again, I already said that I needed to get past what others think. I think we agree because you are reiterating some of my points lol

Count my stars? Please. I've done nothing wrong I feel. If I am a bad person, and don't deserve eyeliner fine. I don't need things to be sugarcoated. I'm simply having thoughts I can't control that I want to vanish so I can embrace eyeliner completely. This is where I'm being completely honest.

its possible to agree with someone and have your own opinion at the same time.

do you want me to just be OK with your comments because you've keep mentioning you know how wrong/shallow/catty, etc they sound?

its like starting off a statement with "i know this is going to sound really racist but..." should one not be offended because they were warned?

meh, i really had no intentions of disagreeing this much with you. im actually interested in your story, especially since its the time of year where all the junior transfers who wonder if theyre making the right decision during rush are coming around.

seriously, i want you to finish the story, im interested. would i stick around a comment if i thought you were a bad person and such?

[Ggirl617]

i just want to be able to move past what i'm feeling, and i feel as if i reveal my chapter and school now it will be dragged down with the story. i want to get to a place of satisfaction and be all "i'm an EYELINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

i just want to be able to move past what i'm feeling, and i feel as if i reveal my chapter and school now it will be dragged down with the story. i want to get to a place of satisfaction and be all "i'm an EYELINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

[AXOrushadvisor]

Ggirl-

I think you are in a good place. You seem to me to be open minded and willing to make a difference. Good for you! Enjoy your new membership experience get to know your fellow PNM's AND active sisters- try to keep your new member class together. You may be the start of a strong Chapter on campus. Run for an office in your new member class and make a difference. You will reap many rewards in the end. Good luck to you and keep us posted.

PS..I really hope you stick it out. This could be the beginning of a wonderful trip for you.

[thetygerlily]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

i just want to be able to move past what i'm feeling, and i feel as if i reveal my chapter and school now it will be dragged down with the story. i want to get to a place of satisfaction and be all "i'm an EYELINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then let's move on and focus on what you're doing. What have you been doing so far with the actives and your new member class? Any all-Greek events planned? Made any great new friends who will help you get through the last two years of college? Give us THESE juicy details and then maybe you can shout from the rooftops if you're comfortable.

I agree with some of the previous sentiments and I was initially put off by some of the self-professed shallow comments. But GC is all about differing opinions and different experiences. Let's here more of yours now that the eyeliners have welcomed you with open arms.

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by Jen

It only takes one person who is really involved and excited to get everyone else involved and excited. My chapter, the year I joined, initiated it's largest pledge class in over 20 years. This year they surpassed that yet again with a pledge class double from when I was initiated. The chapter once had 4 actives and is now over total and a very strong (and awesome!) chapter.

This was due to a few great new members that joined with the chapter was small and worked hard to get better at recruitment and COB.

So even if eyeliner wasn't your first choice, or is a smaller group on campus, there is a huge opportunity for you to initiate change and likely more opportunity to get involved right away.

I think your attitude about going through with your new member period and embracing your sorority is great - I think you're right, the emotions will die down and you'll be better prepared to see what the group really is all about and if you truly fit.

Good luck =)

I agree 110% with this...to the OP, this is great advice! Have fun getting to know your new sisters!

[Ggirl617]

I actually have been hanging out with them a lot. I just got back right now. We have a mixer on friday, and I'll of course go to the philanthropy days. Also, pretty much the entire junior class is abroad right now (this is specific to my school, so now you guys can probably guess it, but please keep it to yourselves) so that's a ton of new girls I'll get to meet also.

Not going to lie, tonight I was with 2 eyeliners and 2 blushes and I felt way more comfortable with the blushes. I'm really not trying to regress I swear, but this is hard and I hope you guys can let me go through what I need to do.

Edit: It's hard because of how I ranked after preference. It could have easily turned out the same way, and I would have shutup by now, but I have a feeling it might not have and I need to accept my decision. I am a very indecisive person and I usually feel as if I always make the wrong decisions and end up living in regret instead of taking part in experiences. It is a problem and at least I recognize it.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

i just want to be able to move past what i'm feeling, and i feel as if i reveal my chapter and school now it will be dragged down with the story. i want to get to a place of satisfaction and be all "i'm an EYELINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You can get to that place, but it may take time and a concerted effort on your part. You've only been a new member for what not, a few days?

I remember one of my pledge sisters telling me she didn't find the warm fuzzies until she moved into the chapter house and that was a whole year after she pledged. She confessed that until then she had simply viewed it as another club or activity that she'd committed to. But once she was immersed in sisterhood 24/7 it was like a light bulb had been turned on.

Point being, you are not the only sorority girl who has ever questioned her choice and has had doubts. Just remember everybody is different. Some girls are consumed by the bonds of sisterhood immediately on Bid Day. For others Initiation is a big turning point. Then others, like my pledge sister, take even longer. The common denominator though is always that key moment when a girl truly commits herself, then she can find meaningful sisterhood because that's when she actually became a sister and not someone who sits on the sidelines dwelling on the would of, could of, should of's.