My Fall Recruitment Thread

[Ggirl617]

the actives you mean?

[FSUZeta]

just have a few of your pledge sisters or initiated sisters who you are close to get together with you and one of your independent friends-just hang out in the school food court/cafeteria or at starbucks or an ice cream parlor. don't even mention anything about recruitment-few people mention marriage on the first date. the first time it's just a group of friends you think might hit it off having some fun together. then if your indy friend likes the sorority sisters she meets, you might ask her to get together again with them to do something else-maybe by that time there will be an organized recruitment event and you could ask your friend to that.

in the mean time, try to find out how your chapter traditionally holds cob events. i would imagine that initiated sisters would be the ones who would speak to any pnms about bids, or you new members would at least be instructed as to how the chapter handles those things, but ordinarily, a chapter would want to meet a prospect more than once before a bid was offered.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Also, I'd like to say that there are many positive things about eyeliner.

1)Probably the nicest and most accepting girls you have ever met in your life
2)Hilarious, full of energy
3)Philanthropy that is centered in my hometown!!
4)Love to go out and have fun
5)Best bid day shirts I've ever seen (alright not so significant but I thought I'd throw it in there)
6)The girls care not only about the social aspects of the sorority, but are serious about school too

ETC ETC

It's nice to hear you say some positive things about your chapter, as well.

I think the reason some of us are taking issue with it is this: There are PNMs here ALL THE TIME who are upset because things didn't work out the way they wanted. There are a ton of threads that are titled, "Thinking about dropping my sorority" and "Not what I thought it would be" and "Questioning my decision", etc. Here's the difference though... the majority of the time, girls complain because:

1) They don't feel as if their sisters are welcoming and accepting.
2) The chapter is kind of boring and not energetic about much of anything.
3) They don't do many philanthropy projects.
4) They don't go out that often and aren't as social as other chapters.
5) The worst bid day shirts! (just kidding)
6) The members' BACs are higher than their GPAs.

And some feel that there is no sense of sisterhood.

The chapter you're a part of seems to have all of the things that a great sorority should be.

I can understand that in the beginning, it's natural to have doubts. And I know you've said you want to give the chapter a chance... so please do that! Don't get caught up in them having lower dues (when you don't know the reasons why). And don't feel that it's devastating that the chapter has to COB. Many chapters do. Something I would encourage you to do is to ask questions! And not of us, but of the sisters. That's what they're there for.. to help you through the process.

[KJ-AU-DG]

I went through the same thing when I pledged many years ago. My chapter was the smallest and the least popular (for a lack of a better word) on campus. I totally second-guessed myself but there was no going back. My mother told me that I'd made the right choice and to be patient. Well, I am NOT a patient person by nature. There were a lot of problems with my chapter but not the sisters--they were and are the best people I know. I did some things at the time that I am not proud of. It was no secret that I was unhappy and talked about quitting all the time. BUT I DIDN'T.

Fast forward a few years. Guess who are still my most trusted and loving friends? Guess who got me my wonderful job? Guess who has ALWAYS been there as I have suffered with bipolar disorder--you have to be strong to help someone with mental illness. Guess who I can always turn to even after 20 years? You see where I'm going with this don't you?

My sorority has since added three new chapters in that state (I don't live there anymore) and my beloved chapter was reinstated (we closed the chapter while I was still in school). The chapter makes quota, has wonderful young ladies, etc.

I know it is very hard to imagine your life many years from now. But I tell you, my mother was right. I do wish that I'd done a lot of things differently in school (well, hindsight is always 20/20). However, I would absolutely have pledged my sorority again no matter the circumstances.

You have pledged eyeliner. Learn about it; really get to know your sisters. Get to know your advisers. Understand the way things are done and why. Befriend eyeliners from other schools. Get to know the women who wrote your recs (we are sponsored so I would talk to my sponsor from time to time about problems). If I had done a better job of this back then, I probably would have been happier.

I believe in my sorority and my sorority believes in me--even now. I chose Delta Gamma over the other sorority I preffed just as you chose eyeliner. In our hearts, the choices were the right ones. Cue happy ending.

[DubaiSis]

The thing is sometimes it's better to talk about it and sometimes it's NOT. And you've strayed into it's time to stop talking about it land. Your problems are not with the sorority and yet you insist on constantly talking about your decision or what you should do or how you're feeling about it all today. By talking about it all the time you keep the problem alive. Go about your life, and come back in a couple months to share that you are a happily initiated member of eyeliner and leave it at that.

And if you seriously need to continue this discussion, then I do think it's time for some counseling because you have some emotional health issues that need to be addressed. College is very stressful and a little counseling can do wonders. And chances are there are counselors or therapists available for free or deeply discounted prices on campus. Good luck.

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

And if you seriously need to continue this discussion, then I do think it's time for some counseling because you have some emotional health issues that need to be addressed.

It's been a week since she posted. Why are you bumping this up to give your unprofessional internet opinion that she has emotional health issues?

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by KJ-AU-DG

I went through the same thing when I pledged many years ago. My chapter was the smallest and the least popular (for a lack of a better word) on campus. I totally second-guessed myself but there was no going back. My mother told me that I'd made the right choice and to be patient. Well, I am NOT a patient person by nature. There were a lot of problems with my chapter but not the sisters--they were and are the best people I know. I did some things at the time that I am not proud of. It was no secret that I was unhappy and talked about quitting all the time. BUT I DIDN'T.

Fast forward a few years. Guess who are still my most trusted and loving friends? Guess who got me my wonderful job? Guess who has ALWAYS been there as I have suffered with bipolar disorder--you have to be strong to help someone with mental illness. Guess who I can always turn to even after 20 years? You see where I'm going with this don't you?

My sorority has since added three new chapters in that state (I don't live there anymore) and my beloved chapter was reinstated (we closed the chapter while I was still in school). The chapter makes quota, has wonderful young ladies, etc.

I know it is very hard to imagine your life many years from now. But I tell you, my mother was right. I do wish that I'd done a lot of things differently in school (well, hindsight is always 20/20). However, I would absolutely have pledged my sorority again no matter the circumstances.

You have pledged eyeliner. Learn about it; really get to know your sisters. Get to know your advisers. Understand the way things are done and why. Befriend eyeliners from other schools. Get to know the women who wrote your recs (we are sponsored so I would talk to my sponsor from time to time about problems). If I had done a better job of this back then, I probably would have been happier.

I believe in my sorority and my sorority believes in me--even now. I chose Delta Gamma over the other sorority I preffed just as you chose eyeliner. In our hearts, the choices were the right ones. Cue happy ending.

i love this. thank you p.s. my best best friend is an eyeliner at her college

[Ggirl617]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

The thing is sometimes it's better to talk about it and sometimes it's NOT. And you've strayed into it's time to stop talking about it land. Your problems are not with the sorority and yet you insist on constantly talking about your decision or what you should do or how you're feeling about it all today. By talking about it all the time you keep the problem alive. Go about your life, and come back in a couple months to share that you are a happily initiated member of eyeliner and leave it at that.

And if you seriously need to continue this discussion, then I do think it's time for some counseling because you have some emotional health issues that need to be addressed. College is very stressful and a little counseling can do wonders. And chances are there are counselors or therapists available for free or deeply discounted prices on campus. Good luck.

actually i did stop talking about it, because i have fully expressed how i feel. there is nothing wrong with the way i feel. what i have said is exactly what i meant and if you interpret (rhetorical you) it differently, that does not mean i meant what you thought i said. i think that if you think someone needs counseling due to having unease about a huge new situation in your life, then i think you need to be a bit more understanding. thank you for the good luck wish

[Ggirl617]

hey guys i was elected new member panhellenic representative

[ThetaDancer]

Congratulations! Hopefully that is a great experience for you, and a chance for you to get involved and meet a lot of people.

[FSUZeta]

wow!! good for you.

[ZetaGirl22]

I am SO glad that you are sticking with it and trying to keep a positive face! Of course you might have some conflicting feelings. We are all human right? Recruitment is very stressful with a lot of emotional upheaval, esp if it didnt go the way you planned. I think its AWESOME you are getting involved in a leadership position already! I can see that you definitely have the right idea about this.

I see a few pages back you made an awesome list about things you LOVE about your chapter, and you know what? You really couldnt ask for anything more. You are right, unconditional acceptance IS what you want in sisters! In your situation, and in life in general, it is SO important to stay positive. I really believe that your experiences are 99% attitude. Like if you have a job you really dont like so much, if you wake up every morning and think, "Oh God, not another day" Guess what? You are going to have an awful day, but if you approach everything with the thought that you are going to make the best out of it, you will get a lot more enjoyment from your chapter and life in general.

SO.........................going from this positive thinking idea, what you have in front of you right now is an AMAZING opportunity. Clearly you already have a very warm, welcoming sisterhood, which is amazing. You and your new member class have every chance in the world of totally turning things around in your chapter. If you look at it THAT way, as an opportunity, not feeling bad because people make negative comments about your chapter, I think you will be able to get over the hurts that you felt much sooner.

I came from a small collegiate chapter. I wont lie, hearing negative comments about your chapter from outsiders HURTS........a lot! But its what you DO with it that counts. When I joined we had a LOT of apathetic older sisters. After they were all finally gone, my class said, "NO MORE" and we worked our BUTTS off to start making changes. And now 7 years later, my chapter is VERY strong, making quota every year in formal recruitment and is at chapter total. So yes, it can be done! And when I look back on those years, those nasty comments are really just an afterthought. Its the amazing memories I made with my sisters that have stuck with me.

[Ggirl617]

i got my big yesterday and she's exactly who i wanted! only sad thing is she's a senior

[wmu_aoii]

^ well hey, at least you get her for nearly a whole school year! think positively! i joined winter '09 and my big was a senior as well, but I only got her for two months

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

i got my big yesterday and she's exactly who i wanted! only sad thing is she's a senior

Congrats!