My Fall Recruitment Thread

[lyrelyre]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I think being disappointed by being cut by your favorites is completely normal and should not elicit rude responses (which I have sometimes seen on GC). If a girl decides not to pursue Greek Life rather than her second choice, and you wish to condemn her, don't. She is missing out already.

To be fair, I don't think many on GC are rude initially. Once we've attempted to answer questions to the best of our ability and the OP has an attitude problem or won't listen to reason the snarkiness can come out. However, I do believe it's typical to be sad and even wistful about the chapters that release you that you liked.

I do hope you’re very happy at eyeliner and, whether you decide it’s for you or not, that you have/make friends on campus and become involved in some other way.

[lovespink88]

Originally Posted by lyrelyre

To be fair, I don't think many on GC are rude initially. Once we've attempted to answer questions to the best of our ability and the OP has an attitude problem or won't listen to reason the snarkiness can come out. However, I do believe it's typical to be sad and even wistful about the chapters that release you that you liked.

Agreed. Another reason, especially lately, that I think that GCers have been "rude" to PNMs is because they've kind of made it clear (whether they flat out said it, or not) that they think they're better than the group that offer them a bid.

[Ggirl617]

Hey guys I'm really glad I got some responses about that because that is sort of where my story is going. For all main purposes, the story is over. I will start pledging eyeliner tomorrow. However, the emotions and feelings concerning recruitment, pledging, and eyeliner and blush in general, are definitely not gone, and I would like to work through it (hopefully with your help) so I can make the most out of my experience as an eyeliner.

I think I should have put blush first. It doesn't really matter now and who knows if it would have made a difference.

And I want to comment on something one of you said. Do I think I'm better than the girls? No. I think they are extremely nice and very accepting and that's why I put them as number one. Maybe deep down I feel that I am simply better looking. Should I apologize for feeling that way? Yeah, probably, and I am sorry for sounding like a snob. These emotions are all very recent and I don't think I can get past being catty without expressing what everyone else won't say. If you want to condemn me and say I don't deserve eyeliner, fine. I love the girls as people, and I WANT to stop thinking about everything else. Maybe for some of you it's easy and you can just erase those nagging thoughts, but I'm not as strong.

What other people think does matter to me. Maybe this will just take time. The more I grow to love eyeliner, the more everything else will fade away. I don't know. I do love greek life already, and I knew no matter which sorority I ended up in, I promised myself I would give pledging a chance and initiate if I wanted.

Another thought. (And yes this is all jumbled order, but I just want to get everything out). We had a great pledge class, but I know many will drop simply because eyeliner was their last choice. It really upset me to be at the bid day dinner, excited, but most people were pretty solemn. I know some bid day parties, people probably were crying they were so happy. It almost made me feel not even good enough.

I don't know really what I'm asking, because probably all the good advice you guys will give me, is the logical and rational explanations that I can already come up with myself. I think the emotions just need to subside and then it will be easier. Thanks for listening to my story, and please leave any comments, positive or constructive. I look forward to being the best eyeliner I can be

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

Hey guys I'm really glad I got some responses about that because that is sort of where my story is going. For all main purposes, the story is over. I will start pledging eyeliner tomorrow. However, the emotions and feelings concerning recruitment, pledging, and eyeliner and blush in general, are definitely not gone, and I would like to work through it (hopefully with your help) so I can make the most out of my experience as an eyeliner.

I think I should have put blush first. It doesn't really matter now and who knows if it would have made a difference.

And I want to comment on something one of you said. Do I think I'm better than the girls? No. I think they are extremely nice and very accepting and that's why I put them as number one. Maybe deep down I feel that I am simply better looking. Should I apologize for feeling that way? Yeah, probably, and I am sorry for sounding like a snob. These emotions are all very recent and I don't think I can get past being catty without expressing what everyone else won't say. If you want to condemn me and say I don't deserve eyeliner, fine. I love the girls as people, and I WANT to stop thinking about everything else. Maybe for some of you it's easy and you can just erase those nagging thoughts, but I'm not as strong.

What other people think does matter to me. Maybe this will just take time. The more I grow to love eyeliner, the more everything else will fade away. I don't know. I do love greek life already, and I knew no matter which sorority I ended up in, I promised myself I would give pledging a chance and initiate if I wanted.

Another thought. (And yes this is all jumbled order, but I just want to get everything out). We had a great pledge class, but I know many will drop simply because eyeliner was their last choice. It really upset me to be at the bid day dinner, excited, but most people were pretty solemn. I know some bid day parties, people probably were crying they were so happy. It almost made me feel not even good enough.

I don't know really what I'm asking, because probably all the good advice you guys will give me, is the logical and rational explanations that I can already come up with myself. I think the emotions just need to subside and then it will be easier. Thanks for listening to my story, and please leave any comments, positive or constructive. I look forward to being the best eyeliner I can be

I'm going to be a nice person and not touch your other comments, but I highly suggest reading this thread:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ghlight=choice

You're entitled to your feelings (everything is still very new) but at some point, you really do have to get over it and realize that you have 3 choices:

*Drop out of eyeliner.

*Stay in Eyeliner and be pissed everyday about it.

*Stay in Eyeliner and make the VERY best of it.

At the end of the day, you will only get as much out of your Eyeliner experience as you allow yourself to get out of it. Obviously, being mopy about being an Eyeliner isn't going to help.

As much as you may want to be a Mascara, Blush, whatever, the fact of the matter is-- you aren't one. It's up to you to decide how you want your experience to be from here.

Good luck.

[Ggirl617]

I thought I made it pretty clear that I do want to stay in eyeliner and make the best of it, and I feel bad about the way I feel, but unlike others can't just erase the thoughts immediately. I understand that you will grow to love some sororities and instantly love others. Nothing I have posted in this thread differs from that. I think you misunderstand my feelings. I don't feel as if I'm being defensive, but you've suggested two options that I never wanted to do, and that's these two:

*Drop out of eyeliner.

*Stay in Eyeliner and be pissed everyday about it.

I am making the effort and I am going to work through this. That doesn't change the emotions I'm experiencing right now. People say there's a cookie cutter sorority, but I think pnms are stereotyped this way too.

Edit: I don't think you were being nice by saying you're not going to touch my comments. You obviously are looking down on the way I feel and that's not nice. I'm sorry I'm being honest.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I am making the effort and I am going to work through this. That doesn't change the emotions I'm experiencing right now. People say there's a cookie cutter sorority, but I think pnms are stereotyped this way too.
[/COLOR]

Your feelings ARE normal.

You are probably not going to instantly feel at home with ANY chapter (even girls who get their top choice from day 1 don't feel that way).

I don't think anyone is saying that it is wrong to feel the way you feel, especially at this stage in the game.

Nothing is automatic and it all takes time.

Some advice: get involved and meet other sisters.

If you keep your positive attitude about Eyeliner, and get genuinely involved, your feelings likely will change.

[FSUZeta]

you may be having a bit of "buyers remorse"-i do all the time! who knows-you might be questioning your decision had you chosen blush instead.

i think that it is very few new members who instantly truly feel at home and have no period of adjustment. heck, if your roommate is a stranger, there is a period of adjustment with her, and there certainly is a period of adjustment in a marriage.

the best way to feel comfortable with your new sisters and the girls in your pledge class, is to participate in every event possible with your chapter. join a committee within the chapter that interests you. walk home from your new member meetings with your pledge sisters. set a goal to learn something about a different sister every day.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

What other people think does matter to me. Maybe this will just take time. The more I grow to love eyeliner, the more everything else will fade away. I don't know. I do love greek life already, and I knew no matter which sorority I ended up in, I promised myself I would give pledging a chance and initiate if I wanted.

I suspect this will happen.

About halfway through pledging, you will hear from some of your friends, or through the grapevine, who are pledging mascara or lipgloss about how pressured they feel to maintain their looks and image at all times and how it isn't all it's cracked up to be. You will be able to go to the eyeliner house, put your feet up on the sofa and not give a crap that your nail polish is chipped or your hair is frizzy. And you will say AAAAHHHHHHHH.

I think that you do have a good attitude under it all, and as time goes on you will wonder why you thought those other sororities were better than yours.

There was something in you that made you put eyeliner down above blush. No you will never know, unless you run into a blabby blush and she tells you, but there is a reason you chose as you chose. Don't drive yourself nuts second guessing. Like FSUZeta said, it's just a little bit of buyers remorse. Any big purchase invites similar feelings even if you're super jazzed about it.

Also, and I'm truly not trying to be snarky or bitchy, there is the possibility you're not as good looking as you thought you were. Things get turned upside down a lot when you go from HS to college.

Good luck.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Also, and I'm truly not trying to be snarky or bitchy, there is the possibility you're not as good looking as you thought you were. Things get turned upside down a lot when you go from HS to college.

Good luck.

Not even trying to be rude, but this could be totally true.

HS and college are 2 totally different worlds, and a girl who was the "ultra pretty girl" in high school likely finds herself in a SEA of "ultra-pretties" in college.

It's part of life.

[Ggirl617]

lol i wasn't pretty in high school. i didn't really find myself till college and that included the way i looked. and it's not snarky. maybe i'm conceited when it comes to the way i look but i am 100% confident

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I'm sorry you feel this way and I suspect you will loathe my latest response. I will reveal my chapter and school in a bit, and I respectfully ask that you guess privately.

no, i dont loathe your comments, but it just seems like youre trying your hardest to get us to "be nice" and understand your POV by repeating how "honest" you're being. that doesn't excuse the comments you make. remember, a thin line between cocky and confident. I cant even chalk your comments up to being a fresh out of HS freshmen who doesnt know any better.

I agree with a lot of KSUViolet's and 33girl's comments (as i tend to). i think you went from ugly duckling to Heather Hottie and felt you earned yourself a place amongst Lipgloss and Mascara because that would be the easy thing to do - youre hot, so you pledge one of the hot houses and live the rest of your college life amongst the hotties.

BUT it seems like, deep down, the real Ggirl617 within, identified with Eyeliner, and maybe taking a bid and initiating there kinda takes your back to when you weren't so hot and confident. you say so yourself that "you care about what people think" and that many of your pledge class chose Eyeliner last. that has to play a big part in where you're at right now and the way youre telling this story - defensive, like you have something to prove, NOT honest and confident.

this assumes that you actually are hot, or were hot at some point. you could be a total ugmug and are seriously jaded.

Originally Posted by Ggirl617

I thought I made it pretty clear that I do want to stay in eyeliner and make the best of it, and I feel bad about the way I feel, but unlike others can't just erase the thoughts immediately. I understand that you will grow to love some sororities and instantly love others. Nothing I have posted in this thread differs from that. I think you misunderstand my feelings. I don't feel as if I'm being defensive, but you've suggested two options that I never wanted to do, and that's these two:

*Drop out of eyeliner.

*Stay in Eyeliner and be pissed everyday about it.

I am making the effort and I am going to work through this. That doesn't change the emotions I'm experiencing right now. People say there's a cookie cutter sorority, but I think pnms are stereotyped this way too.

Edit: I don't think you were being nice by saying you're not going to touch my comments. You obviously are looking down on the way I feel and that's not nice. I'm sorry I'm being honest.

To your credit, i do actually believe you when you say you never had intentions of dropping out of Eyeliner and are willing to stick it out. I hope you keep that promise, to yourself and to the house.

and sidenote: the responses youre getting are NOTHING compared to what you could be getting. so count your stars.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lyrelyre

To be fair, I don't think many on GC are rude initially. Once we've attempted to answer questions to the best of our ability and the OP has an attitude problem or won't listen to reason the snarkiness can come out. However, I do believe it's typical to be sad and even wistful about the chapters that release you that you liked.

This.

Most people here DO understand that you're going to be sad when cut by a chapter you like.

The snarkiness generally comes when girls say things like "I want to be Greek sooo bad" but then say in the next breath "I was invited to Pref at 2 chapters but didn't like them so I dropped out."

Or when they say "I was released from recruitment" when in actuality they had like 4 invites and just didn't want them. You weren't released, you dropped out. Big difference. Can't really feel sorry for a PNM who makes a choice. Yes, it sucks to make it, but they did chose to do it.