sigh: my daughter was kicked out of her chapter

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Please don't go blaming the room mate for being a tattle tale. She followed rules/policies, your daughter didn't. Plus I'll bet the room mate didn't appreciate having a guy in her room all night. After all it was HER room too.

Originally Posted by agzg

I tend to agree but in the roommate's defense, perhaps her boyfriend was being disruptive or rude, perhaps the daughter and her boyfriend were doing things that were certainly inappropriate to do with another person in the room, we don't really know. I could see that if the boyfriend was being a complete jackass to the roommate why she would tattle, it's her room, too, you know?

I liked the no-boys spending the night at the house rule as a collegiate and I like it now. First, it is a risk management liability. Sorority houses are not like dorms, we leave our bedroom doors unlocked, or maybe even cracked open while we sleep. We rightly trust our sisters not to steal from us or cause us harm. Some random guy you bring home from the bar might be a serial rapist/killer/thief.

Second, who is to draw the line to say when a guy is able to be trusted? Does he have to have the "boyfriend" title? Can he be a fuckbuddy who the girl has known since high school? There isn't really a clear place to draw the line on that, and it doesn't seem fair to allow some boys to spend the night and others not. Consistency.

Third, I really don't want my roommate getting it on while I am trying to sleep. Especially if we have bunkbeds. A lot of women might hesistate to say that it upsets them, because they don't want their roommates to be mad at them. It's a respect issue, and again an issue of consistency. If I am away for the night, and my roommate would have the room to her self, it doesn't seem fair to allow her to have a guy over and not others.

Fourth, if you need to hook up, you can do it at his place.

It all boils down to joining a group and agreeing to abide by the rules of the group. This rule is designed to protect members of the group, as well as be fair and promote respect.