I'm confused...where do I go from here?

[Gusteau]

First, Follow ASTalumna06's advice about meeting guys outside of rush, it's key. Second, go through rush with an open mind and try to rush as many fraternities as possible if you can. A lot of things change between freshman and sophomore year and what you're looking for in a fraternity may also change. This fraternity may be the right place for you next year or you may find a better fit after a year. I hope you find where you're meant to be!

[33girl]

How are your grades?

Are you involved in anything else at your college? Some fraternities place a VERY high importance on their members being in other extracurriculars.

Definitely try again during sophomore year, but as Gusteau said, when you do, look at other fraternities too.

[Quicksilver22]

I have a 3.94, and I'm at a very hard top-30 private school. I don't have much going on with extracurriculars, though.

I've talked to a couple of the brothers that I got to know especially well, and they seem to want to stay in touch, and still want me to go to their parties. Hopefully that's a good sign.

Thanks for your help.

[ree-Xi]

For your own experiences, and especially if the fraternity you are pursuing is known for their extra-curricular activities (on fraternity at my school was knee-deep in Student Government, orientation, student tours, the newspaper, etc.), by all means join a club or two.

Besides it "looking good on your resume", you will be able to learn and experience something new, become involved and care about something, and perhaps gain leadership positions. All positive stuff from every perspective. It also gives you a chance to see how you balance grades and something else.

Give them a reason to want you to be part of their group; right now all they might see is someone with good grades. You may end up meeting people in the Greek system and finding things in common with them. Don't become friends with fraternity members just because you want to pledge.

[lucgreek]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

For your own experiences, and especially if the fraternity you are pursuing is known for their extra-curricular activities (on fraternity at my school was knee-deep in Student Government, orientation, student tours, the newspaper, etc.), by all means join a club or two.

Besides it "looking good on your resume", you will be able to learn and experience something new, become involved and care about something, and perhaps gain leadership positions. All positive stuff from every perspective. It also gives you a chance to see how you balance grades and something else.

Give them a reason to want you to be part of their group; right now all they might see is someone with good grades. You may end up meeting people in the Greek system and finding things in common with them. Don't become friends with fraternity members just because you want to pledge.

Conversely if the organization you are pursuing doesn't have many people involved in other campus activities, you being involved would be a major plus for them.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Originally Posted by Quicksilver22

I've talked to a couple of the brothers that I got to know especially well, and they seem to want to stay in touch, and still want me to go to their parties. Hopefully that's a good sign.

If you know a few of the brothers especially well, can you ask them why they think you didn't get a bid? They can't tell you what goes on in member selection, but they might feel comfortable with a simple "I think not enough of the guys knew you" or something.

When you look at the chapter members, is there anything they seem to have in common that you don't? I remember at my school the ASA's had a lot of (gorgeous) dance majors, so me and my pre-med major probably wouldn't have fit in well there no matter HOW bad I wanted in.